Have you ever paid close attention to dialogue tags?
If not, that’s awesome. They were well written! If written poorly, they can pull the reader right out of the story—never a good thing. But when written well, dialogue tags help our understanding of emotion and tone, not ruining the flow.
The Objective of Dialogue Tags
Dialogue tags tell the reader who is speaking. Sometimes the tags include the attitude of the speaker.
Use a new line of dialogue for each speaker, and attach the dialogue tag to the appropriate line.
“Where are you off to?” asked Alice, my babysitter.
“To bed,” I replied, irritated at her. “Where else would I be going, barefoot in my jammies?”
Construction of Dialogue Tags
Dialogue tags can come anywhere in a sentence, before, after, or in the middle of the dialogue. They are introduced by commas unless there are question marks or exclamation marks ending the dialogue.
End of a sentence tags:
“You make the best cake ever,” he said through chocolate frosted lips.
“How do you always know exactly what to say?” she asked.
Beginning of a sentence tags:
I hollered, “Hey! Get back here!”
Georgia glanced behind and said, “Absolutely not. No way.”
Mid-sentence tags:
“These math problems look tricky,” I said, frowning at my worksheet. “There’s no way I can finish all of it today.”
“Well, that sucks. I’m only here for a few days!” Kaitlin whined into her cellphone. “We haven’t seen each other in forever. When are you free?”
“Adam,” my father demanded, “get off the phone and finish your homework!”
When placing dialogue tags in the middle, be sure the tag still comes after the first line of dialogue so that the reader knows right away who is speaking. Hunting for names pulls the reader out of the story.
Actions can be joined with dialogue tags using commas.
Dialogue tags with action:
“Hey,” he said, walking toward me down the hallway.
“I thought that was you,” I said, giving him a grin.
The Following are not Dialogue Tags
Actions and Descriptions
It’s not a dialogue tag if it can stand by itself as a sentence.
The following line from the section on the Objective of Dialogue Tags uses a dialogue tag. (The comma after To bed is the clue.)
“To bed,” I replied, irritated at her. “Where else would I be going, barefoot in my jammies?”
An alteration changes the tag into an action beat.
“To bed.” I rolled my eyes. “Where else would I be going, barefoot in my jammies?”
The eyeroll is an action that shows the character’s irritation, rather that saying/telling that the character is irritated. (It’s better to show than tell.) Since I rolled my eyes is a complete, standalone sentence, it isn’t a dialogue tag.
Periods separate the action/description from the dialogue in place of commas.
Facial expressions
“To detention.” She scowled. “Where else would I be going right now?”
“Really!” Tim’s eyebrows raised. “What did you do?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Her eyes glazed over.
Tone of voice
“I thought I already said I’m sorry.” His voice wasn’t cold, but it wasn’t exactly warm and fuzzy either.
Must You Always Use Dialogue Tags?
The most important thing to remember is to make your dialogue easy to read and understand.
When writing short dialogue, with a few words in each line, you won’t need as many dialogue tags, especially if there are only two people chatting.
“I'm trying to read,” Ali said. “Why?” Bill asked. “To better my mind,” Ali answered. “What do you need?” “Oh, nothing,” said Bill.
Some of these tags are longer than the dialogue itself. They are distracting and not really needed. If the characters are previously introduced, the tags aren't necessary.
“I'm trying to read,” Ali said. “Why?” Bill asked. “To better my mind. What do you need?” “Oh, nothing.”
The second example removes the second set of tags. It reads faster. It’s simple. Simple is good.
If you are writing with more than two characters, use tags to clearly show who is speaking.
Internal Dialogue?
To show what a character is thinking—their internal dialogue—eliminate the quotation marks and use italics for their thoughts. Some writers include the word thought as a dialogue tag, to make it clearer for readers.
I hope he doesn't ask me to let him in for a drink, she thought. That was the worst date ever!
Personally, I feel using the word thought in the internal dialogue is unnecessary for most readers, but can be helpful in books for young children.
Dialogue Dynamic
Too many tags can make your dialogue unwieldy. Deciding when to use them depends upon the number of characters in the scene. In the first example, there are two characters: the babysitter and her charge. If a starting point has been stated and the lines alternate, some tags can be omitted.
“Where are you off to?” asked Alice, my babysitter.
“To bed.” I replied, irritated at her. “Where else would I be going, barefoot in my jammies?”
“You don’t have to be mean about it.”
For a longer scene or one with more characters, the reader may lose track of who is speaking. It’s easy to get lost in dialogue, even with only two people, if there is a lot of back and forth and not enough context.
Make dialogue interesting by using a combination of action, dialogue tags, and lines without tags.
“Where are you off to?” asked Alice, my babysitter.
“To bed.” I rolled my eyes. “Where else would I be going, barefoot in my jammies?”
“You don’t have to be mean about it.”
I stopped, turned around to face her, and muttered, “I’m sorry, Alice.”
The actions and expressions still tell the reader who’s speaking but make the scene dynamic.
Word Choice in Dialogue Tags
Some actions that would be hard, at times impossible to do while speaking, like holding their breath. You can sigh, groan, or laugh out a word or two, but probably not over the length of a few sentences.
Ponder the following:
Would this happen?
Will it take the reader out of the story?
Act it out, when in doubt!
“I doubt it. I was hopeful, but I truly knew it couldn’t happen for me,” she sighed.
Try sighing that! There’s no way to sigh for that long. It’s not natural. There’s not enough breath.
Instead try:
“I doubt it. I was hopeful, but I truly knew it couldn’t happen for me,” she said.
“I doubt it.” She sighed. “I was hopeful, but I truly knew it couldn’t happen for me.”
“I doubt it. I was hopeful, but I truly knew it couldn’t happen for me.” She sighed.
Dialogue Flow
The reader’s experience can be hindered, or made satisfying by the way the dialogue tags are structured.
Introduce dialogue with a separate line for each speaker and a tag that shows who’s speaking.
Consider the placement of the tag and the commas that introduce or follow.
Use actions and either omit or use a variety of tags to make your dialogue dynamic.
Consider the reality of your word choice when it comes to dialogue tags. Is it a physical reality?
How do you feel about using the word said in dialogue tags? When writing dialogue, do you tend to put tags in the middle, beginning, ending of a sentence, or mix it up? Has dialogue ever pulled you out of a story? What’s one of your favorite dialogue tags?
* * * * * *
About Ellen
Author, speaker, and former teacher, Ellen L. Buikema has written Parenting ... A Work in Progress, non-fiction for parents, and The Adventures of Charlie Chameleon chapter book series with stories encouraging the development of empathy—sprinkling humor wherever possible. Her Works in Progress are The Hobo Code, YA historical fiction and The Crystal Key, MG Magical Realism/ Sci-Fi, a glaze of time travel.
11 comments on “How to Use Dialogue Tags and Keep the Flow”
Respectfully, sorry, but a character can't "sigh" or "laugh" a line of dialogue. A dialogue tag must indicate a form of utterance. The best one is "said." As you wrote at the top, when a reader doesn't really notice a dialogue tag, that's awesome.
"Asked," because it typically follows a question mark or precedes a line of dialogue that is followed by a question mark, is seldom if ever necessary.
"Sighed," "laughed," and other action verbs belong in brief descriptive narratives (you call them "action beats") that can take the place of dialogue tags. Brief descriptive narratives do double duty, both itentifying the speaker and enabling the reader to 'see' a little more of the scene.
Just trying to help. Visit my website at hestanbrough[dot]com and key "tag lines" into the Search box in the sidebar to see my posts on the topic.
I've always thought of tags as choosing between four levels of detail. You want the right amount that fits the moment without crowding it, and especially you want some variety so they don't sound unimaginative or wooden.
* No tag at all -- okay as long as you're following a pattern that keeps it clear who's who.
* Said or Asked -- quick and good, except when the dialog is so intense this simple word feels underwhelming.
* The fancy "sighed," "yelled," "demanded," and all the rest -- okay when you need just that much emphasis, but actually most moments call for either less or more.
* Description beats (showing instead of telling how someone says it) -- good when the moment calls for this much.
Again, any of them can be overused, including "said," which some people think can be tacked on forever. That's not true, it's only that the "sighed"s get overused much faster, but constantly saying "said" can mean you've forgotten the other options.
With telepathic characters, I've had to make some adjustments. Thoughts are in italics, but I may follow with sent as the tag to differentiate between transmitted thought and what the character thinks to themselves. Consistency matters here.
Any time you name an emotion, you probably need to rewrite (though a short and sweet label can be a good thing instead of a longer description---everything should get the number of words it deserves). The word "irritated" in the sample is unnecessary as is the eye roll. Irritations is shown in the words spoken. The eye roll does add a little more meanness/attitude, but I'm not sure the babysitter could see it as I suspect the narrator is walking away with their back to the babysitter. Sometimes we have to let the words in the dialog speak for themselves.
Respectfully, sorry, but a character can't "sigh" or "laugh" a line of dialogue. A dialogue tag must indicate a form of utterance. The best one is "said." As you wrote at the top, when a reader doesn't really notice a dialogue tag, that's awesome.
"Asked," because it typically follows a question mark or precedes a line of dialogue that is followed by a question mark, is seldom if ever necessary.
"Sighed," "laughed," and other action verbs belong in brief descriptive narratives (you call them "action beats") that can take the place of dialogue tags. Brief descriptive narratives do double duty, both itentifying the speaker and enabling the reader to 'see' a little more of the scene.
Just trying to help. Visit my website at hestanbrough[dot]com and key "tag lines" into the Search box in the sidebar to see my posts on the topic.
Harvey, thank you for your suggestions.
Said is preferred by some, but may be overused.
I've always thought of tags as choosing between four levels of detail. You want the right amount that fits the moment without crowding it, and especially you want some variety so they don't sound unimaginative or wooden.
* No tag at all -- okay as long as you're following a pattern that keeps it clear who's who.
* Said or Asked -- quick and good, except when the dialog is so intense this simple word feels underwhelming.
* The fancy "sighed," "yelled," "demanded," and all the rest -- okay when you need just that much emphasis, but actually most moments call for either less or more.
* Description beats (showing instead of telling how someone says it) -- good when the moment calls for this much.
Again, any of them can be overused, including "said," which some people think can be tacked on forever. That's not true, it's only that the "sighed"s get overused much faster, but constantly saying "said" can mean you've forgotten the other options.
Hi Ken,
You bring up many good points.
Personally, I am a fan of description beats and have to watch that I don't overdo.
Thank you for your comments!
With telepathic characters, I've had to make some adjustments. Thoughts are in italics, but I may follow with sent as the tag to differentiate between transmitted thought and what the character thinks to themselves. Consistency matters here.
Any time you name an emotion, you probably need to rewrite (though a short and sweet label can be a good thing instead of a longer description---everything should get the number of words it deserves). The word "irritated" in the sample is unnecessary as is the eye roll. Irritations is shown in the words spoken. The eye roll does add a little more meanness/attitude, but I'm not sure the babysitter could see it as I suspect the narrator is walking away with their back to the babysitter. Sometimes we have to let the words in the dialog speak for themselves.
Hi Debbie,
Perspective is important for sure. Who can see what will make a difference in wording for the tags.
I'm glad you brought up telepathy! Using sent to help differentiate telepathic communication from internal thought is a great suggestion!
We are told that 'said' is invisible to readers, but if too many are used, it is as repetitious as any other word.
I often use acton beats.
Thank you, Vivienne!
Balance in all things, including dialogue tags.
I think few writers do tagless dialogue (not all tagless of course) better than Martha Grimes. Do you know her work?
Yes! A very prolific writer of mysteries. I enjoy her imagery.
When there are only two characters chatting it's not so hard to keep the tagless lines straight. She is an awesome writer!
I prefer said for most of the time, but using some actions are good, too. I just don't want to see actions for every single sentence--it's too much.