by Margie Lawson

You’ve probably rewritten your first sentence and first paragraph more times than any other lines in your WIP. And still, it’s possible they could carry more emotion. It’s possible they could carry more power.

Which is why you’re here!

I’ll share plenty of ideas in this blog, but no way one blog could cover everything about adding power to first paragraphs. Consider this a broad-brush approach with a brush that gets dipped in some incredibly cool colors.

If you’re familiar with anything I teach, you know I’m all about editing. Deep editing. Psychologically-based deep editing.

And you’d know I teach writers how to add emotion and power. Which are definitely needed in your opening paragraphs.

A potential reader, agent, or editor may only read a couple of paragraphs. If they love it, they’ll keep reading. If they’re not intrigued or hooked or wowed, they’ll click over to check out another book on Amazon or put your book back on a shelf.

How do you check to see if what you wrote is strong? Use my Deep Edit Analysis Checklist!

Deep Edit Analysis Checklist

• Hints about Your Story Promise—What your story is about. Including your story promise in your first paragraph or two can carry amazing emotional power. But if you have a beautifully written opening that doesn’t include your story promise, I may still love it. But you might want to try working it in and see if it brings power.
• Power Words—Words and phrases that carry a psychological message.
• Fresh Writing—Avoid overused phrases. Give readers phrases they haven’t read before.
• Compelling Cadence—Read your work out loud. Check if sentences are cadence-driven.
• Rhetorical Devices—List them. If you need more info about rhetorical devices, you may want to consider my lecture packet on Deep Editing, Rhetorical Devices, and More!
• Humor Hits—If you want to be known for writing humor, check to see if you have humor on every page.
• Clear Visuals—Share visuals and be sure the reader sees what you want them to see.
• Taps Emotion in the Reader—When you feel emotion, you know.
• Something Special—Anything else that adds emotion and power.

Use my Deep Edit Analysis Checklist. You’ll see what you’ve got on the page and what may be smart to add.

Now we’ll apply my checklist to some opening paragraphs.

I bolded power words and phrases.

The Patient, Steena Holmes, 4-Time Immersion Grad 

How do I admit this? Disclose that I’ve held this secret out of fear? I think about the words I need to say, unsure that I can voice them. Admit my shame, my failures, my… suspicions.

Deep Edit Analysis Checklist

• Hints about your Story Promise—Yes.
• Power Words—Yes! Lots of them.
• Fresh Writing—Yes
• Compelling Cadence—Yes
• Rhetorical Devices—Yes
  • Rhetorical Questions—Two
  • Anaphora—… my shame, my failures, my… suspicions.
• Humor Hits—NA
• Clear Visuals—NA
• Taps Emotion in the Reader—Yes
• Something Special—
  • The last sentence is a frag and it works well.
  • The whole paragraph is ominous.

For Roger, Laura Drake, 3-Time Immersion Grad

Today, death rides a bicycle. My bicycle.

Leading the Saturday morning peleton, I pump my way up the hill, standing on the pedals, breathing hard. My legs are still working, still strong.

Deep Edit Analysis Checklist

• Hints about your Story Promise—Yes.
• Power Words—Yes.
• Fresh Writing—Yes.
• Compelling Cadence—Yes.
• Rhetorical Devices—Yes.
  • Personification
• Humor Hits—NA
• Clear Visuals—Yes.
• Taps Emotion in the Reader—Yes.
• Something Special—Yes.
  • The first two sentences are fresh. Powerful. Captivating. Memorable.
  • Those first two sentences sell books.

The Last True Cowboy, Laura Drake, 3-Time Immersion Grad

Addiction sucks. I should know. Papaw has his White Lightning. Nana has her Bingo-jones. My addiction has sad green eyes and my name tattooed across his left peck.

But my wedding dress dreams always come in second to his rodeo. There’s even a term for it: Rodeo Widow. Except to earn that title, I’d have to be married.

Deep Edit Analysis Checklist

• Hints about your Story Promise—Yes.
• Power Words—Yes.
• Fresh Writing—Yes.
• Compelling Cadence—Yes.
• Rhetorical Devices—Yes.
  • Structural Parallelism—Papaw has his White Lightning. Nana has her Bingo-jones.
• Humor Hits—Yes. Sarcastic humor.
• Clear Visuals—NA
• Taps Emotion in the Reader—Yes.
• Something Special—Yes.
  • Laura Drake was strategic with style and structure. She added power by varying the length of sentences.
  • Laura’s voice shines through!
  • She used what I call a Switchback Line. There’s a surprise at the end of the last sentence.

A Hard Day for a Hangover, Darynda Jones, NYT Bestseller, 3-Time Immersion Grad

Normally, Sheriff Sunshine Vicram would’ve been alarmed at the sight of a knitting needle sticking out of a guy’s neck. At the very least, she would’ve been concerned for the horrified man’s well-being. Yet, there she stood. Unmoved. Unshaken. Unstirred. Much like the forgotten bottle of dirty martini mix in the back of her cabinet. At the tender age of early-thirty-something, Sun realized she had seen it all. The world held no more surprises. No more magic. It just was.

Deep Edit Analysis Checklist

• Hints about your Story Promise—Yes. She’s a sheriff who’s seen it all, nothing surprises her.
• Power Words—Yes.
• Fresh Writing—Yes—Unmoved. Unshaken. Unstirred.
• Compelling Cadence—Yes.
• Rhetorical Devices
  • Alliteration — Unmoved. Unshaken. Unstirred.
• Humor Hits—Yes.
• Clear Visuals—Yes.
• Taps Emotion in Reader—Yes.
• Something Special—Yes. 
  • Age Slip-in, always smart!
  • Stylistic Boost with alliterative standalones: Unmoved. Unshaken. Unstirred.

Evil’s Avenging Angel, Jenn Windrow, 7-Time Immersion Grad 

Vampires used to require the three Ps: planning, patience, and pointy weapons. But ever since Xavier, my dead-by-my-stake sire, tried to use an ancient vampire law to force me into unwanted wedded bliss, planning and impatience have been replaced with chaos and confusion. Like someone taped a “Kill Me” sign to my back and every supernatural creature wanted to take a whack at the Alexis-shaped piñata.

Deep Edit Analysis Checklist

• Hints about your Story Promise—Yes.
• Power Words—Yes.
• Fresh Writing—Yes.
• Compelling Cadence—Yes.
• Rhetorical Devices—Yes.
  • Alliteration—planning, patience, pointy weapons, chaos, confusion
• Humor Hits—Yes.
• Clear Visuals—NA
• Taps Emotion in Readers—Yes.
• Something Special—Yes.
  • Jenn Windrow’s voice shines through!

Denim, Diamonds, and Deep Six, Janet Leigh, 2-Time Immersion Grad

Being dead isn’t always easy, but it doesn’t give anyone the right to eat all the cheesy snacks. Not even my boyfriend, Caiyan McGregor, a sexy, rakish Scot, who’s presumed dead.

I’m Jennifer Cloud, a transporter for the World Travel Federation, WTF for short. I travel back in time to thwart bad guys from screwing up the past. OK, I don’t actually do the thwarting, but I bring them back to the present to serve time for their bad behavior.

Deep Edit Analysis Checklist

• A Hint about your Story Promise—Yes. So clear.
• Power Words—Yes.
• Fresh Writing— Yes.
• Compelling Cadence—Yes.
• Rhetorical Devices—No.
• Humor Hits—Several!
• Clear Visuals—NA
• Taps Emotion in the Reader—Probably not. But it draws the reader in and makes them laugh!
• Something Special—Yes.
  • Janet Leigh’s fun voice comes through every line.

The Gossip Truth, Sandy Rhodes, 4-Time Immersion Grad

I wanted to cry, not had-a-bad-day cry, but my-life-was-a-freaking-mess cry. I sat on the third-floor balcony of The Grand, a timeshare nestled in the Rocky Mountains that was far far away from my home in the oil fields of Texas. Away from my four adulting kids. Away from my night shift charge nurse position in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Away from Luke, my husband of thirty-five years. I needed this writing retreat getaway I’d saved and planned for the last five years. But what I hadn’t planned on was my husband all but admitting last night that he was having an affair with his best friend’s wife.

Deep Edit Analysis Checklist

• Hints about your Story Promise—Yes.
• Power Words—Yes.
• Fresh Writing—Yes.
• Compelling Cadence—Yes.
• Rhetorical Devices—Yes.
  • Epistrophe—Triple Endings, in the first sentence.
  • Anaphora—Away from… Four times.
• Humor Hits—NA
• Clear Visuals—NA
• Taps Emotion in the Reader—Yes.
• Something Special— Yes.
  • Anaphora shares four hits of backstory. Brilliant writing.
  • Used fresh hyphenated-run-ons to give the reader a treat!
  • Gives readers an Emotional Boom!

My Soul to Keep, Kennedy Ryan, Immersion Grad  

Mama has been dying all day.

ALS is a stealthy thief. It stole Mama’s wide, crooked-tooth smile, and left her face a plane of twitches and jerks. That funny snap, snap she’d do with her fingers before she started making a fresh batch of biscuits? That saucy little pop and sway of her hips when she raced around the house on Sunday mornings, late for church? ALS snatched those long ago. Now Mama’s fingers lie limp at her sides on the bed sheets, the complete stillness startling and sad.

Deep Edit Analysis Checklist

• Hints about your Story Promise—Yes.
• Power Words—Yes.
• Fresh Writing— Yes.
• Compelling Cadence—Yes.
• Rhetorical Devices—Yes.
  • Alliteration—batch, biscuits, lie limp, stillness, startling, sad
  • Onomatopoeia—snap, snap
• Humor Hits—Yes.
• Clear Visuals—Yes.
• Taps Emotion in the Reader—Yes.
• Something Special—Yes.
  • The whole paragraph is fresh and compelling and powerful.
  • Backstory slip-ins
  • So much love is implied.
  • Gives readers an Emotional Boom!

Wrapping Up

I’m wowed by those openings and proud of my Immersion class grads.

I hope you use my deep edit analysis checklist. Circle your power words. Look for rhetorical devices. Boost your cadence. Figure out ways to be strategic with style and structure.

You know you need to hook your reader in those first couple of paragraphs. Make sure they carry wow power!

Please chime in. Give me your best first paragraphs. I’d love to read them!
I’ll have a drawing Thursday night, and someone will win a FIVE PAGE DEEP EDIT from me!
You want to win that goodie, right? Just post a comment and you’re in the drawing!

Interested in learning lots more ways to add emotional power to your openings?

Want me to deep edit the opening of your book as well as several chapter openings?

I’m teaching an online course this month on openings: A Deep Editing Guide to Make Your Openings Pop! Check it out!

About Margie

Margie Lawson left a career in psychology to focus on another passion—helping writers make their writing bestseller strong. Using a psychologically based deep-editing approach, she teaches writers how to bring emotion to the page. Emotion equals power. Power grabs readers and holds onto them until the end. Hundreds of Margie grads have gone on to win awards, find agents, sign with publishers, and hit bestseller lists. 

A popular international presenter, Margie’s taught over 180 full day master classes in the U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and France. She’s also taught over 200

5-day intensive Immersion Master Classes across the U.S. and Canada, and in seven cities in Australia too. 

She founded Lawson Writer's Academy where you’ll find over 30 instructors teaching online courses through her website. And you’ll find lots of webinars on her website too. She developed 34 webinars that share her deep editing techniques and more! To sign up for Margie’s newsletter, visit www.margielawson.com.

Want to invite Margie to present for your writing group? She presents full day master classes and webinars too.

Margie's next: Get Happy Virtual Open House!
Tuesday, Feb. 20, 5:00—7:00 p.m. Mountain Time
Drop by the link on MargieLawson.com anytime in that 2-hour block.
We’ll be there chatting and laughing!

By Janice Hardy

You don’t have to know everything about your story before you start plotting.

Since writing is fairly split between character writers and plot writers, you can bet that half the writers you meet have had struggles with plot (the other half with characters, but that’s another post). Even when you enjoy it, and are good at it, plotting has its challenges.

How do you know what your protagonist has to do? What types of problems and conflicts should your protagonist face? How do you fill in the middle so it doesn’t drag?

Figuring out how to get from the inciting incident to the climax is a head-scratcher—even for hardcore plotters like me. But the key to making this easier is structure.

Structure helps a lot when figuring out your plot.

Structure is like the line drawing of your story. It contains all the key turning points and general flow of how the novel will unfold. Once you know the general shape of it, you can color it in any way you want. For genre novels, it’s even easier, because you’ll have expected tropes to further guide you. You won’t have to draw the image from scratch—you only have to color in the lines.

For example:

• In romance, there’s a meet-cute that leads to romance, and eventually a Happily Ever After.
• In mysteries, there’s a body or crime that leads to an investigation, and eventually solving the crime and finding justice for the victims.
• In non-genre novels, there’s a problem discovered that leads to attempts to fix that problem, and eventually resolving that issue and the protagonist finding happiness.

These turning points and expectations can help you develop a rough concept of your plot.

Maybe you know the details early on, maybe you don't, but that’s okay. The goal here is to find that general framework for your plot to get you started.

I’m in final edits right now for a science fiction detective novel I plotted using this concept. Detective novels have a “formula” of expected tropes and a very clear structure of what happens when. But that didn’t mean my plot would be the same as every other detective story. The tropes and structure gave me a framework that helped guide my brainstorming. I made it unique to my story, based on what that story needed.

Let's look a little closer.

Readers expect a detective novel to open with either the crime or the PI getting hired. But I didn’t want it to open with the client hiring my PI, because I felt that jumped in too fast. I wanted time to set the scene and ground readers in my science fiction world first. If they didn’t understand the world, they wouldn’t understand the mystery.

So I knew I had to have an opening scene that included the two big tropes of my mixed genres—introduce the PI nature and establish the science fiction world. I didn’t know what that scene would be at first, but it was clear I needed to show my PI at work in that world to accomplish both of those goals. That gave me solid place to start brainstorming.

Using that and the general trope and structure format, I was able to craft a basic outline:

• Protagonist’s job and world introduced
• Client hires protagonist to solve problem
• Protagonist investigates and finds connections to his past
• Crime escalates and new problem occurs (in most mysteries, this is another body)
• Protagonist investigates new crime and tries to figure out the personal connections
• Suspects stack up and are investigated
• Connections are figured out and perpetrator is revealed
• Perpetrator apprehended, case solved

It’s rough, but it’s something I could work with.

This works for genre and non-genre stories.

A romance novel will have a similar conceptual outline. It begins with the two love interests and their problems. Then the plot moves to the meet-cute, the attraction dance, problems with getting together, getting closer and then being torn apart. It ends with working things out, and then finally getting that happily ever after.

A non-genre novel will be more general, beginning with the protagonist living their life. They then encounter a problem and make a lot of mistakes that create more havoc in their lives as they try to solve it. Eventually, they face a moment when they want to give up, but they struggle to pull themselves together and keep going. Finally, they face the main conflict and resolve the problem.

Once you know your conceptual turning points, it’s just a matter of brainstorming until you find the right scenes to put there.

Let’s look a little closer at my detective outline to see this in action (sorry, no spoilers):

The Opening

Protagonist’s job and world introduced: I thought about how my PI’s day went and what he routinely did on the job. I knew I didn’t want this opening issue to be a major case that could make readers think this was what the book was about, but I also didn’t want it to be a throwaway scene that didn’t go anywhere. I wanted it to connect to the actual plot crime in some teeny way, so I’d need to drop in clues that later led the PI to the bad guys. Finally, I wanted to show the personal issues my PI was facing to establish his character arc and that plotline.

Many brainstorming sessions later, I had an opening scene with my PI wrapping up a pro-bono case, witnessing something that would later be important but didn’t look important at that time, and experiencing a “medical issue” that related to his personal problem. It ended with a call from his office manager that there was a client waiting to see him, which led to the inciting event and expected detective trope.

Everything I needed to do was there, and it all started with a general concept of what that opening scene needed to do for the story. I targeted the rest of the rough outline the same way.

The Overall Plot

My PI was hired for an adultery case, which let me know the types of things my PI would have to do to solve it. I knew it ended up with a murder by the end of Act One, and it raised the stakes by connecting to my PI’s past. The murder gave me a whole new set of issues and clues to work with to create new plot goals and scenes for Act Two.

I knew that the investigation would uncover something major about his past at the midpoint, setting up the second half of the plot. The two plotlines (case and personal) would become more intertwined as my PI investigated until he knew how one affected the other and what to do about it to resolve both issues, driving the plot into Act Three and the climax.

Sound super vague? Oh, it is. But it gave me direction so I wasn’t just grasping at random ideas for the plot. I knew conceptually where the plot had to go and brainstormed the specifics that got me there. I created a rough outline for the major turning points of the plot without knowing more than “This is a case of adultery that turns into a murder that leads to the PI’s past.” All I had to do was connect the dots.

Bonus Tip: Trying using this format to describe your idea in one sentence. “This story is [inciting event] that turns into [main story problem] that leads to [climax/character growth/resolution].”

Much of my brainstorming was simply asking, “How would my PI investigate this case?” and “How does this case relate to his past?” The unique science fiction aspects gave me even more to work with.

I didn’t know it all when I started, and that was okay.

How to Brainstorm with Structure and Tropes in Your Own Novel

If you’re stuck with an idea but no plot, take a step back and look at your novel’s structure and the tropes of the genre (if applicable). Do you have a classic formula, such as romance or mystery? Do expected tropes and issues appear in this type of story? If not, don’t fret—even a traditional story structure can provide those turning points for you to start with.

Think about how your story would generally unfold, and the types of scenes you might like to see happen. This brainstorming is all about the macro and big picture, so don’t worry about the specific details just yet. When the plot starts falling into place, then slip those specifics into the story and build from there.

If you get stuck...

If you get really stuck, try going right to your ending (even if it’s still vague) and working backward. What has to happen for the ending to turn out that way? What steps get the protagonist there? What happens to get to that point? Keep going backward until you’re at the beginning and have a clearer picture on how this story starts.

Plotting conceptually is a fun and handy way to brainstorm a novel without getting bogged down in the details of the story. It gives you permission to block out the rough lines of the novel until you have a solid framework to color and shade with the specifics of your idea.

Have you ever plotting a novel conceptually? Do you think it might help you the next time you get stuck on a plot?

About Janice

Janice Hardy is the award-winning author of the teen fantasy trilogy The Healing Wars, including The Shifter, Blue Fire, and Darkfall from Balzer+Bray/Harper Collins. She also writes the Grace Harper urban fantasy series for adults under the name, J.T. Hardy. When she's not writing fiction, she runs the popular writing site Fiction University, and has written multiple books on writing, including Understanding Show, Don't Tell (And Really Getting It), Plotting Your Novel: Ideas and Structure, and the Revising Your Novel: First Draft to Finished Draft series. Sign up for her newsletter and receive 25 ways to Strengthen Your Writing Right Now free.

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Top image from peshkov on depositphotos.

by Ellen Buikema

Words have power. As a writer, you can create characters you loathe or love, sometimes a bit of both. 

It’s essential to know your main characters’ backgrounds, strengths, flaws, and personalities. These fictional folks will evolve as you create their stories. In Part 1, we explored the character’s background.

Let’s take a look at:

Personality

Personality helps to determine a character's actions, motivations, and relationships.

A character's personality is a combination of behaviors, attitudes, and traits that make them unique individuals. A well-developed personality makes for relatable, believable characters.

Starting a new story, you usually have a general idea of who your characters are or will be. Start with the basics: age, gender, hair, eye, and skin color.

To create memorable characters that pull you into the story:

Try a Personality Test

Giving your creation a personality test is a fun way to explore your character’s ideas. The Myers-Briggs and Enneagram tests are the most common. These tests can be helpful tools for fleshing out your characters’ personalities.

The Myers-Briggs Test

The four fundamental aspects of the Myers-Briggs are:

• Favorite world: Focus on the outer world, Extroverts (E) versus the inner world, Introverts (I)
• Information: Take in information as Sensing (S) versus interpret and add meaning to information as Intuitive (N)
• Decisions: Make decisions by first looking at logic and consistency as Thinkers (T) versus considering people and circumstances involved using Feeling (F)
• Structure: Make firm decisions, Judging (J), versus remaining open to new information and options, Perceiving (P)

The Myers-Briggs test costs about $60, but there are free options available.

Enneagrams

The Enneagram is a personality theory, based on the idea that everyone has a unique “essence” or personality structure. Ennea means nine, and gram means figure.

Here are the nine different types:

1. The Strict Perfectionists is all about doing the “right” thing. They are idealistic, principled, purposeful, self-controlled, and seek perfection. Molly Gray from The Maid by Nita Prose.
2. The Considerate Helpers may over-involve themselves and risk being manipulated. They are caring, demonstrative, generous, people-pleasers, and possessive. Nicholas “Nick” Andros from Stephen King’s The Stand.
3. The Competitive Achievers: risk becoming overstretched and may cheat to win, are success-oriented, pragmatic, adaptive, driven, and image-conscious. Hermione Granger from J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series. 
4. The Intense Creatives: emotionally attuned to their environment and focused on their needs. They are sensitive, withdrawn, expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, and temperamental. Agatha Christie’s, Hercule Poirot.
5. The Quiet Specialists seem socially awkward and defend their isolation. They are intense, cerebral, perceptive, innovative, and secretive. Sherlock Holmes in Sir Arthur Canan Doyle.
6. The Loyal Skeptics: have a deep need to feel safe, running the gamut from self-reliant and grounded to paranoid. They are committed, security-driven, engaging, responsible, anxious, and suspicious. Lisbeth Salander from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson.
7. The Enthusiastic Visionaries: seek joyful variety and tend toward impulsive pleasure-seeking. They’re busy, spontaneous, versatile, and scattered. Holly Golightly from Truman Capote’s Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
8. The Active Controllers: are forces of nature who mask their insecurities with a tough exterior. They are powerful, self-confident, decisive, confrontational, and want to serve a greater good. Indiana Jones from Campbell Black’s Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark.
9. The Adaptive Peacemakers: diplomatic group mediators who are easygoing, self-respecting, receptive, reassuring, and agreeable, and have a hard time saying “no.” Samwise Gamgee from J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings.

Resources:

Personality Path has a free Enneagram Type test to use to help develop your characters’ personalities.

Don Riso’s Personality Types: Using Enneagram for Self-Discovery is highly rated and digs deep into each type’s mindset and behavior.

Working with character’s test results

Consider what you already know about your characters. Will your romantic lead be dark and brooding like Emily Brontë’s Heathcliff? Is their love interest sociable but stuck-up? Use these personality basics as the start for your assessment, answering the questions that best match the traits planned for the character.

After completing the test, note your character's personality type and insights in a separate document or whatever you use for easy reference.

When developing a character's personality, keep these points in mind:

The fictional person’s personality must be consistent with their background and experiences. A character who grew up in a strict household may have a more “stiff” and disciplined personality than someone who grew up in a more easy-going home.

A character's personality should be easily distinguishable from that of other characters in the story. Each fictional person needs his or her own traits and quirks.

Like the walking, talking people in the real world, characters should be complex, multifaceted beings. No one is totally good or evil, so a character should have both positive and negative traits. Even a living horror may feel comfortable petting animals.

The character's personality should be capable of emotional growth. Fictional people should be able to evolve over the telling of the story.

Finally, a fictional person's personality must be important to the plot. A character's behaviors and traits should move the story forward and influence their decisions. Their personalities are core to the plot.

Get to know your fictional people, and you’ll create a story with multifaceted characters that readers will love or love to hate.  

What personality types do you enjoy creating for your characters? How do you decide on personality characteristics for your fictional people? What characters would you add to the enneagrams?

* * * * * *

About Ellen

Author, speaker, and former teacher, Ellen L. Buikema has written non-fiction for parents, and The Adventures of Charlie Chameleon chapter book series with stories encouraging the development of empathy—sprinkling humor wherever possible. Her Works in Progress are The Hobo Code, YA historical fiction and The Crystal Key, MG Magical Realism/ Sci-Fi, a glaze of time travel.

Find her at https://ellenbuikema.com or on Amazon.

Top Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay