Writers in the Storm

by Lisa Hall-Wilson

In deep point of view, the goal is to immerse the reader in the character’s lived experience of the story journey. The reader isn’t being told a story by an author about one, or many, characters. Rather, the character is living out this story in real time with the reader in their head the whole time.

If story is a car and the point of view character is the driver, the reader isn’t in a helicopter above the action where they can see everything (omniscient POV), nor are they in the backseat of the car with the author riding shotgun (third person POV). Even first person or limited third person keep the author in an ear piece when they’re riding shotgun. Deep POV puts the reader in the lap of the driver and the author/narrator isn’t even in the car.

Arguably, the biggest tool in the writer’s toolbox is the author’s or narrator’s voice. We want to remove it as much as possible in deep POV, and to do that we have to recognize it. And then we have to know what to replace it with.

What Is The Author Or Narrator Voice?

The author or narrator voice is the storyteller. In third person (even limited or close third person), the author is telling a story about a character. The reader may get some dialogue or thoughts from the character directly, but the author is telling the story. In first person, you can have either a narrator voice, or have the main character narrate their own story.

Deep POV is different. Those writing in limited third person will have learned to put some limits on the author voice, but that voice is still telling the story. The author voice often uses a lot of telling, which in acceptable in varying degrees depending on the point of view style you’re using.

The function of the author voice is to:

• Summarize
• Explain
• Justify

If we can begin to catch where this outside-to-the-story voice sneaks in to give the reader information, we have a great first step to immersing readers IN the story.

How The Author Voice Summarizes

We’re all writers, I’m not going to define summary. However, this is an important tool in storytelling because it allows us to make sure the reader “gets it” and follows the story with an economy of words. This could include time gaps. Three weeks later, Tom sat at his desk again after vacation.

It could be summarizing a setting, or summarizing what it is about the setting the character is noticing. Tom noticed the hole in the wall immediately.

The house looked tired with its broken windows and crooked shutters.

Tom walked through the house, the modern organic aesthetic doing its best to create peace and serenity.

Do you see how a voice outside the story (ie. Not the POV character) is summarizing what the character sees, perceives, thinks, feels, etc? Often, for those who have learned to practice showing, what happens is they begin showing AND telling. In deep POV, we’d strive to remove the author voice so that the information comes to the reader raw, without explanation.

Examples

Tom slid his gym bag under his desk and reached for the stack of mail. He sifted through the envelopes. Three weeks and no job offer.

Tom kicked off his shoes and groped in the dark for the switch. His fingers dipped inside a hole in the drywall, about the size of fist.

Tom stared at the broken glass in the windows, the last shutter hanging from one hinge, the blistered paint, and the sag to the front porch.

Tom followed Ann through the living room. He trailed a finger across a macrame pillow and a thick knit blanket thrown over the sofa arm. No bright colours, no clutter, everything in the room begged to be touched or invited him to forget the rest of the world just for a while.

I hope from these brief examples you can see the difference. In deep pov, every word on the page has to come from the character. A good place to start is limiting yourself to only what the character can see, hear, touch, know, learn, etc. But more than that, deep POV aims to capture the lived experience of the character.

How The Author Voice Explains

It’s easy to reach for the author voice to explain how a character feels, why they’re doing something (or not doing something), contextualize a setting or provide backstory. Watch for anywhere a voice external to the point of view character enters the story. To be clear, using the author voice, using explanation isn’t wrong, but if the goal is to write in deep point of view, we want the reader to discover or learn this information as the character does. If the character already knows the information, we need to give them a reason to think of that detail.

With Author Voice:

There’s Tom, Cindy’s third husband.

In Deep POV:

“Is that Pete?”

“No, that’s Tom. Cindy’s third husband.”

With Author Voice:

It just wasn’t that easy for someone with his past.

In Deep POV:

He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes, the gaping ache in his chest threatening to swallow him whole. “It’s not that easy!”

With Author Voice:

Tom kicked the can down the street pretending to score the game-winning goal instead of tripping in front of the net like at last night’s game. Macy and her friends pointed at him from the swings, laughing. He was such a loser.

In Deep POV:

Tom timed his steps. He swung like he held a hockey stick while he kicked the can farther down the road, his bag dropping from his shoulder to hang from his elbow. The roar of a crowd cheers the game-winning goal in his mind. He lifts his hands in victory. Girl-voices reached him from the swings. Macy and her giggle friends pointed at him, laughing. He lowered his arms and shoved his hands so deep in his pockets he might reach his knees. Perfect.

With Author Voice:

The Black Forest was known for its gnarled trees, bogs, and unpredictable pits. “It’s not a nice place.” Edric couldn’t suppress the body shiver that rattled his spine.

This is where the author voice gets sneaky, right. There’s explanation here that does not come from the POV character (Edric) in this sentence. This might just be labelled as “telling” by an editor, but it’s the author voice explaining WHY Edric is uneasy. Also, if you look at the rewrite, do you see how the author voice describes the setting one way, but when forced to put the explanation into the character’s voice, the word choices is more reflective of who that character is, his mood, priorities, etc.

In Deep POV:

Edric couldn’t suppress the body shiver that rattled his spine.

Arah leaned her shoulder into his. “What’s wrong?”

“Place is full of diseased trees, bogs, and sink holes. It’s not a nice place.”

How The Author Voice Justifies

This one can be tricky and stealthy. Most writers pick up on the summary and explanation with a bit of practice, but this one can be hard to spot. Often the author voice creeps in here to provide the reason “why” for the reader. Two words I like to watch for “made” and “because,” as a starting place.

The smell of hot biscuits made Tom want to call his mom.

Tom loved Becky because she was smart.

I mean, these are super obvious, right. But can you parse out how the author voice is justifying here?

Part of why it’s sneaky to see the justification is because often it flows easier when you use your own voice. It’s harder to write every word from the POV character’s perspective.  

What about this one?

With Author Voice:

He’d trained his whole life for this moment, as many before him had, but never thought to see it with his own eyes.

Deep POV:

Edric scrubbed his face with his hands and stared out the window. They were at war. Was supposed to happen to some fool far in the future, not him. Not now.

The author or narrator voice is a tool, it’s not right or wrong.

Do you think removing the author voice brings the reader deeper into the story? Where might you choose to use the author voice intentionally and cheat deep POV?

About Lisa

Lisa Hall-Wilson is a writing teacher and award-winning writer and author. She’s the author of Method Acting For Writers: Learn Deep Point Of View Using Emotional Layers. Her blog, Beyond Basics For Writers, explores all facets of the popular writing style deep point of view and offers practical tips for writers. 

She runs the free Facebook group Going Deeper With Emotions where she shares tips and videos on writing in deep point of view. 

Lisa is running a Deep POV Masterclass starting March 18 for 4 weeks. People can visit her Facebook group to be notified when registration opens.

Image Credits:

Top image from Depositphotos.

By Kris Maze

To write a good story, one that speaks your truth and sparks interest in readers, you can use a variety of story-writing methods. Today, I want to inspire your story writing with a fruit twist. Consider this a free-formexercise to try if you need a little energy infused into your writingroutine. Combined with these ideas are past blog posts by our WITS writers with writing tips on each story element below.

Why a Pomegranate?

This blog post about my made-up story method is concocted from playing with my food,specifically a pomegranate. A fruit that one of our WITSoriginal writers,Jenny Hansen, proposed that I try. Sadly,I couldn’t even identify one from bins in a produce department. But that has changed, dear writers, and as it turns out, the fruit is delicious, entertaining to eat, and an inspiration for writing new stories.

Getting to the Good Stuff: How to open a pomegranate

Until Jenny suggested it, I had never tried a pomegranate that wasn't blended into some kind of smoothie or sprinkled on top of a salad, so this was a very new experience for me.  But as I began to dig into the fruit, I discovered many other ways to enjoy it—and noticed its similarities to writing a book.

When you begin to write a book, you have a simple idea. And, like a pomegranate, your story idea can also be formed into different renditions. It can be molded into a short story or a lengthy epic fantasy. It can become a sweet, happy tale or take on a creepy tone. But it will take some work to make it into the masterpiece you want it to become, and there are many ways to go about it.

Likewise, there are also many methods claiming to be the best way to extract the delicate seeds from the pomegranate’s membranous rind. Some say the best way is to squeeze the seeds into a bowl of water. Others found that whacking a half of it with a wooden spoon proved to be the most effective. I found that carving out the top and tearing into the fleshy thing was the most satisfying.

While planning your story, you have many methods to consider. Some may be more attractive to you as a plotter, pantser, or plantser, but however you approach your story process, it should cover the basics. In my pomegranate story analogy, I ask you to consider the plot, characters, setting, and more.

Story Elements

The Rind: Plotline

The rind of the pomegranate holds the fruit together, neatly packaged in a structured way. Your stories will need an identifiable structure, and unlike the fruit, plotting structures come in many forms. A well-written novel will typically have an overarching action, with subplots and miniature story arcs within it.  Whether your go-to writing structure is the classic Three Act, the adventurous Hero’s Journey, or another like the Snowflake Method, you will find an organizational pattern that reveals your story in a logical manner.

The rind has a tough, opaque outer shell, keeping all the deliciousness hidden until the right time. This is like the series of actions that takes your reader on a journey through twists and turns in your book. 

Readers may be peeling through book pages, but it is similar to parts within a pomegranate. While peeling the fruit, you can see pods of seeds grouped together within the pillowy peel. Think of the groups as acts within your story and the pithy film holding them togetheras the transition to the next act.  Peel through your story and see how it flows. How does your story reveal its major plot points?

Seed Clusters: Scenes 

The seeds themselves are also organized in neat clusters. Consider the seed clusters as scenes, and the seeds themselves as actions or key dialogue that can move that scene along.  As you write your story, think of the seed detailsthat form each scene and the sequences that form your acts or similar structure. How you connect these scenes and where you lead your reader can give them a different experience with your story. 

How many scenes you use in your novel depends on many aspects of your story. Genre is an important consideration. A fast-moving whodunitmay have more twists and turns in the plot, whereas strong world-buildingmay form more of the content of a fantasy or historical fiction novel. The age range (middle grade, young adult, new adult/adult, etc.) of writing will limit your scenes, as younger readers tend to enjoy a shorter book that matches their developmental attention span. Ultimately, you may use as many scenes as you believe will best tell your story.

One method for planning a novel involves math to calculate the right pacing for your story. The StoryGrid method claims that there should be around 33 scenes for a 50,000-word novel. This article by StoryGrid helps a writer break down the scenes of an 80,000- to 100,000-word novel in a step-by-step way. That article talks in more general terms, citing that a story needs at least 15 scenes. If this method piques your interest, check out more at the links included in this paragraph.

Read More

Looking for more information on scenes? Here are past blog posts by our WITS writers and guests. Check out genre-specific suggestions below.

• How to Write Verbal Comedy  in scenes by Ellen Buikema
• Crafting a Story with the Forces of Antagonism by Lynette Burrows
• How to Write Sex Scenes by Outlander writer, Diana Gabaldon
• How Many Scenes Does It Take to Tell Your Story? By Sarah (Sally) Hamer
• Diamonds in the Rough Draft – Writing Scenes that Matter by Joseph Lallo

The numberof pomegranate seeds can vary by fruit by as much as 200 to1,400 seeds! How many scenes, made up by actions and dialogue as directed by characters, is up to you. The characters are key to making a compelling story. Let’s check in with this story element next.

An Aril: Characters

Aril is the technical name for the eatable pomegranate seed. Within each aril there is a woody, crunchy part that would develop into a shrubby tree if it were planted and tended well. The aril also has a thin casing that houses the juice that keeps us coming back for more. Our characters are the crunch and the tart that make up the individual actions and speech within our stories. 

When eating a pomegranate, have you noticed that some seeds are sweeter than others? That they may contain more liquid or pop spontaneously, creating a stain on your white terrycloth sweatpants? (Or maybe that was just me?)  The characteristics of each pod of seeds can vary a little as you move through the fruit, but there are some aspects that stay the same. Consider these ideas for your main character and see if you can find some parallels to improve your story.

Maybe you have moved into a bruised part of the fruit and the seeds are not as tasty. Maybe they have been injured, or spoiled rotten. Perhaps you found a core of perfectly ripe arils that shower your mouth with the just-right combo of sweetness and pucker. There may be a few unripe seeds, not eatable at all. Does your character change throughout your story? Do all of the key figures in your story have a satisfying story arc? 

What characters say and do in your novel should be consistent with what is at their core. Be sure to take time to develop your characters. Make them relatable. Make them cohesive, with social qualities, intellect, and physical descriptions that develop an interesting group of unique characters to tell your story.

Read More 

Want more advice on how to write a cast of characters for your book? Check out these blog posts from our WITS archives.

• Write Authentic Characters and Connect With Readers by Lori Freeland
• Ten More F-Words for Writers and their Characters by Fae Rowen
• 4 Tips for Memorable Characters From Jack Sparrow by Lisa Hall-Wilson
• How to Create Characters Who Intrigue, not Overshare by Shirley Jump

The Pith: Setting and Description

Now that you have peeled back the fruit and uncovered the seeds inside, let’s look at what is holding on to those precious pieces of action that move your story forward. The pithy part is pocked with little pockets where the seed has been plucked. There is a red dot where the seed had connected to the fruit’s soft wall, or mesocarp. It's a lot of specific terms that just point out that setting details vary.

Consider your setting as the magic carpet that brings your reader through your story world, an invisible fly on your novel’s landscape. We are aware that connecting setting is important for the reader to connect to the story, but why? If you have taken any courses by Margie Lawson on her EDITS system, you know that adding setting grounds the reader and helps them visualize what you want them to see.

Margie, donning her green highlighter, will ask writers, “Do you have green at the beginning of each scene?” Include details in the first sentence. Add them throughout each chapter to help the reader understand where the characters are and what they see, hear, feel, taste, and smell around them. A simple, well-chosen noun can do the work of a whole paragraph, so find ways to keep the story going, while at the same time keeping the reader informed.

Lawson’s methods are masterful at helping authors braid together the parts of good writing in each chapter. Her immersion classes are worth joining if you want to take your writing game to the next level. Take a look at the classes, webinars, and handout packets that are available on a variety of writing topics.

Read More 

Here are some classic posts by WITS writers who have shared their insights on creating great settings.

• Make Your Setting REAL with Strategic Description by Lisa Hall-Wilson
• 6 Ways Your Setting Can Create Conflict by Janice Hardy
• World Building: Part 1 – Physical Setting by Fae Rowen
• Stuck in a Rut: How to Amp Up a “Boring” Story Setting by Angela Ackerman

Taste Test

Here are some questions to ask about one of your recent projects.  Use these ideas to shape your next story. Thinking in different ways about your work can help you get unstuck. Reflect on these questions and add new aspects you didn’t consider before!

• How did you structure your story? Did you use a commonly used story method?
• Does your story structure have an overarching plot that could be described in three to five sentences? What are your subplots?
• Can you describe key events that move each part of your story from one act to the next?
• Can you switch up the order of your actions or dialogue in each scene for greater impact?
• How can you keep the reader reaching for the next page or juicy scene? 
• Do you have sweet and/or tartness available to the reader on each page?

Method or Meal?

Thank you for entertaining my ideas on how eating a pomegranate could help writers form better stories. Perhaps you want to keep your own method of writing, but have now have a hankering to eat one of these fruits. Either way, I hope you continue growing on your writing journey. Maybe there are some nuggets of knowledge you wish to share with our readers, methods you use that help you get unstuck in your writing. Add your favorite writing tip below.

What writing tips or resources do you share with other writers the most? Let us know in the comments below.

About Kris

Kris Maze, an education enthusiast with a knack for the written word, has dedicated several years to the world of academia. She writes for various publications including Practical Advice for Teachers of Heritage Learners of Spanish and award-winning blog Writers in the Storm where she is also a host.

She published a YA dystopian novel, IMPACT, with a small press in the summer of 2020. Lately, she has been entering and placing in writing competitions, such as NYC Midnight’s Short Story and Micro fiction contests.

You can find her YA fiction, writing coach resources, and keep up with her author events at KrisMaze.com. Find her darker, scarier fiction at her sister-site KrissyKnoxx.com.

A recovering grammarian and hopeless wanderer, Kris enjoys reading, learning languages, and spending time outdoors where she ponders the wisdom of Bob Ross.

And sometimes she enjoys peeling a pomegranate.

Blue Foot, A Sci-fi Story, New Release in Paperback!

Wrongly accused and exiled, Ernestina Après faces the destruction of her family and her bucolic life beneath the Dome. The Silver-Waters blessings are not in her favor, despite her warnings to the Counsel that the stream and its resources are running out. Caring for a stowaway, she must find a silver-lining in her dire circumstances.

Join her newsletter HERE (and get a free audiobook read by the author)

Image credit: Canva Pro

By Laurie Schnebly Campbell

We all know the Big Three elements that keep a story engaging. A character has a goal, which they want to achieve because of some motivation, and while trying to reach it, they run into some conflict.

Notice what’s in the center there?

Yep. Motivation.

It’s crucial, and yet it’s usually the last thing we writers think about. Well, maybe not the VERY last — that could be “hmm, WHAT was this publisher’s address?” — but it’s usually the last of the Big Three.

Yet without motivation, a story winds up kind of flat. Picture an opening where the hero is racing through rush-hour traffic, dodging around cars and pedestrians and careening past bicyclists who raise their fists and holler, and his phone rings and he barks into it “can’t talk, I’m on the way to Clancy’s” so we know his goal is getting to Clancy’s.

So far so good.

Let’s say this grabber-opening goal continues with some kind of conflict:

Oh, no, the bridge is closed!

Will he swim?

Will he call for a helicopter?

Will he threaten the bridge operator?

He does one of those, and meets with success or failure which results in still more conflict, then gropes with THAT conflict, and more, and more, and more...but we still don’t know why he’s in such a hurry to make it to Clancy’s.

How long, in such a book, would you wait before you start skimming pages?

You might give it a few scenes. Maybe even a few chapters. Maybe, if you paid more than you’d planned for this story, almost half the book!

“It’ll get better,” you might assure yourself. (As I’ve done when there’s nothing else within reach and I don’t want to leave my cozy bed and head for the bookshelf.)

No reason to give up yet, right? I mean, we’ve got a hero with a very clear goal and some very clear conflicts...

Why isn’t that enough?

“But it IS enough,” I can picture the writer protesting. “C’mon, this conflict is great! Didn’t everyone love when the helicopter skittered off the edge of the bridge?”

Sure.

“And the goal is hugely important! Wasn’t everyone on the edge of their seat when he glanced at his phone map and started swearing?”

Sure.

But, without some idea of what’s motivating this guy, a great goal and great conflict aren’t enough.

Okay, so let’s bring in the motivation.

Which might be...let’s see, Clancy is the informant who’s going to reveal the identity of the crooked lieutenant who’s been secretly sabotaging the squad’s every move.

Or Clancy’s is where he’s arranged to meet his college sweetheart who’s visiting from Africa this afternoon before flying out again tonight, and he’s hoping to win a second chance.

Or Clancy has the magic potion that’s going to save this guy’s son from a spell created to kill him at the stroke of midnight.

Technically, learning the crook’s identity or meeting the sweetheart or saving his son are STILL goals, but each comes with a built-in motivation:

• Recover the squad’s power.
• Restore a lost relationship.
• Ensure his son’s survival.

And we can drill down even further for the core motivation:

• POWER or JUSTICE
• RELATIONSHIP or LOVE
• FAMILY or SURVIVAL

See how we’re getting into some pretty basic human needs, there?

THAT’s what a motivation should be.

A character who’s motivated by more than just an external goal is in pursuit of some basic human need.

It doesn’t matter if, at first glance, the goal seems minor. How many times have we seen stories featuring a 15-year-old who HAS to find the right outfit for the prom?

Sure, that seems pretty inconsequential compared to things like honor, love, justice, life, and so on. But to this 15-year-old, being accepted or winning love or feeling validated ARE basic human needs, and clearly the only way to achieve those is to find the right outfit.

The power of a story isn’t how consequential someone’s core motivation is.

We’d probably all agree that survival is a powerful need, and there have been plenty of books about people going to great lengths to avoid starving to death or escaping the dragon or fleeing the serial killer.

But they’re not necessarily any more compelling than books about characters hoping to be the best, or to find a cherished treasure, or to forget about their stupid ex and move on.

People can happily read stories about a whole lot of protagonists with a whole lot of motivations. It doesn’t matter what the gut-level core motivation is.

What matters is that this character HAS one.

Readers don’t necessarily identify the core motivation as they’re enjoying a story. (They’re usually too busy enjoying the story.) But afterwards, it can be interesting to look back and recognize what was driving that hero to get to Clancy’s at the beginning of the book...and whether his motivation evolved as the story continued.

Because, yes, motivation can evolve. But that’s a whole other topic!

Prize Drawing Question
Whether it evolved or lasted as-is from beginning to end, what’s some motivation you remember noticing in a book you loved? If you recall the character’s name, or even their title / author’s name, mention that here and give all of us readers the chance to enjoy recalling (or discovering) a fabulous story.

And somebody who comments will win free registration to “Plotting Via Motivation,” a March 4-29 email class on building an entire plot around the characters’ motivations. On Monday morning I’ll have random dot org draw a name and post it at the end of the comments… hmm, is that a good motivation to check back Monday? :)

About Laurie

After winning Romantic Times’ “Best Special Edition of the Year” over Nora Roberts, Laurie Schnebly Campbell discovered she loved teaching every bit as much as writing...if not more. Since then she’s taught online and live workshops including the one at WriterUniv.com/classes/Plotting-Via-Motivation/, and keeps a special section of her bookshelves for people who’ve developed that particular novel in her classes. With 50+ titles there so far, she’s always hoping for more.