Writers in the Storm

by Sandy Vaile

Dialogue is a powerful tool in fiction because it enables readers to get to know characters without the author telling them how to feel or information dumping what they need to know.

In fact, speech predates written language by tens of thousands of years and is ingrained in our daily lives, so use it to its full advantage to develop characters, advance the plot, increase pace and create tension.

This article will help you write believable dialogue that communicates vital information succinctly, to have a positive impact on the story and captivate readers. When speech rambles unnecessarily, is overly stilted or sounds forced, readers are unlikely to connect with the characters and may even skim over the dialogue.

We’ll look at what dialogue is, what makes it impactful, and how to write it concisely and authentically. 

I absolutely love dialogue because it…

• Breaks long passages of narrative with dynamic information (showing).
• Enables readers to get to know characters on a personal level.
• Offers an opportunity to imply subtext through associated actions and tone.

But it’s not always easy to write succinct speech that rings true, i.e., is relevant to what’s going on in the story, suits the character, and doesn’t feel like it’s forced.

What dialogue is (and isn’t)

Dialogue refers only to words that are spoken aloud by characters in our stories. It is highlighted with quotation marks (“) at the beginning and end of each group of spoken words.

A dialogue tag is text joined to, before, in the middle of or after dialogue, which makes it clear who is speaking. The most common being said.

Internal thoughts are a different matter altogether and their formatting will depend on the Point of View you are using.

What makes dialogue impactful?

The success of our characters’ conversations comes down to these three things.

1. It’s concise – Succinctly communicated what needs to be said to move the plot forwards.
2. It's authentic – Shows who the characters are, why they are there and how they feel about the situation and other characters.
3. It is purposeful - It needs to be there to communicate important information, like planting clues or revealing backstory, not merely to give characters something to do.

What makes dialogue concise?  

Just as we do when writing narrative, aim to say what is needed in the minimum number of words it takes to communicate clearly. Keep the speech focused on the point you need to communicate.

Although dialogue is the perfect place to let a character’s personality and speech patterns shine through, it’s not an excuse for them to ramble like we do during real conversations.

The truth is, natural sounding dialogue in a book doesn’t exactly replicate the way we speak.

If you listen to conversations, you will hear speakers:

• waxing lyrical,
• stopping mid-sentence as they forget what they’re talking about,
• changing tack when they suddenly remember something,
• butting in when they’re passionate about a subject,
• repeating themselves,
• using contractions, slang and colloquialisms,
• hesitating, stuttering, and tripping over all sorts of filler words and sounds, like ah and umm.

In a book we want to make dialogue sound realistic while getting our point across succinctly.

Examples

When including an accept, foreign language or colloquialisms in dialogue, the general rule of thumb is to be sparing, giving the impression of it through the way words are put together, rather than writing each word that way. Less is more; the odd word goes a long way to giving the impression of a language idiosyncrasy.

It would be exhausting to read something like this:

“Hey, Mary, you gunna git ta doin’ them chores any time soon? ‘Em dishes fairly walkin’ out a door wit’ou’ ya.”

Colloquialism:

“Did y’all never see a woman drinking beer before?”

Foreign words:

“I’ll see you in three weeks, au revoir.” Sally called, picking up her suitcase and blowing him a kiss.

Edit out most repetitions, filler words and sounds that don’t enhance the dialogue’s meaning. Of course, this doesn’t mean you can’t include some of these things. After all, we do use them in speech and they can be useful to convey a particular sentiment, like umm for hesitation or oh for surprise. But don’t go overboard and rely on them in place of pithy conversation.

Examples

“Hey, wWhat do you want for dinner, Jane?” Brian called during an ad break in the football game.

“Well, I had a big lunch. Umm, how about … I fancy trying that new Thai restaurant on the corner.” On her way down the hall, she reached for the menu that had arrived in the mail that morning.

What makes dialogue authentic?

Conversations sound authentic when they reveal who the speaker is below the surface, which enables readers to get to know characters on a personal level and understand how they feel in that moment.

What you want to avoid (except in rare circumstances where it’s a specific character trait) is characters sitting around talking to themselves. Most people don’t do this often, so it tends to come across as an inexperienced writer forcing information upon readers in an unnatural way.

Unique character voice

Each character should have a unique voice, not just so readers know who’s speaking, but to express who the character is, where they came from, their opinions, specific dialects or colloquialisms, and their attitude to what’s happening in the story at that time.

Authentic speech is about the words a character chooses and how they put them together. Most people use contracts a lot, i.e. I don’t like that, rather than, I do not like that.

Use speech to reveal different aspects of their personality.

• Are they the kind of person who speaks before they think or considers each word carefully?
• Do they trip over their words or speak eloquently?
• Do they avoid certain subjects or wear their heart on their sleeve?
• Are they a jokester, extrovert, solemn or belligerent?

Don’t force dialogue

Forced dialogue (also known as on-the-nose writing) happens when:

• We include information that is out of context, i.e., not relevant to what’s going on in the story at the time; or
• It isn’t written the way that character would actually speak.

It’s common when we need to reveal backstory or critical information but don’t work to make it sound realistic.

Examples

Forced:

Ruth backed away from the paddock gate. “As you know, Ben, I’m afraid of horses.”

If Ben already knows this about Ruth, she wouldn’t be explaining it. Instead, show her fear through the narrative and her spontaneous reaction to seeing the horse.

Natural sounding:

Ruth backed away from the paddock gate, behind which an enormous white stallion pawed the ground like a wild bull. “Hell no. I’m not going in there!”

Subtext

There is always subtext surrounding authentic speech. Thoughts and feelings that are implied rather than spoken. When we have a conversation in real life, we naturally assess the situation; reading facial cues, body language, actions and tone of voice to understand how the other person feels and what they want. Even what they might be hiding.

We’ve all seen chick flicks where the heroine professes her love and her partner is silent. That silence reveals more than words; he’s clearly not the man for her. Or had a friend who changes the subject every time the conversation turns to childhoods. Even if you don’t know why, you can deduce certain things from what people aren’t saying.

Within and around dialogue, layer in details about:

• How the character got to this point?
• Why they are driven towards their current goal?
• Where they are and what’s going on around them?

Examples

“The dog’s dead,” Mary stated matter-of-factly, as though Sooty hadn’t been her best friend through childhood and loyal companion during her cancer treatment.

I hated the way putting on a brave face meant her not showing any emotion. Ever.

“How did it happen?” Anne chokes back a sob.

“Bloody Dad. I’ve told him a hundred times that he backs out of the driveway too fast.”

“Oh no! Is he coping okay? How about Fluffy? They were best friends.”

We learn a lot about these sisters from this short exchange. Far more than the words alone tell us.

• Their family pet is dead, and the remaining pet is going to miss them.
• Mary previously had cancer and is dedicated to putting on a brave face no matter the situation.
• Anne is more emotional and thinks about how this will affect others.

Hot tip for checking dialogue authenticity.

You can more easily hear the authenticity and flow of dialogue if you read it aloud. Hearing the words as the characters say them will pick up whether it sounds too formal or casual (for that character), or forced. If it’s difficult to read aloud then it’s going to sound awkward in the reader’s head too.

Using the “Read Aloud” function under the Review tab in Word is another way to hear how the words on the page sound.  

What makes dialogue purposeful?

When characters speak, it must be for a reason. Not because the author wants to fill space or force information onto the page. There must be a reason for the character to communicate with another character.

Eliminate chit chat

Eliminate mundane chin-wagging. It might be a part of real conversations, but if it isn’t adding value for the reader, then cut it. You don’t need to include every part of a conversation for it to be meaningful.

Examples

People may greet one another when first meet, but you don’t need to write every “Hello, how are you?” and “I’m well thanks. How are you?”. Get straight into the meaty parts. The reason the dialogue is there.

Likewise, characters don’t always have to say “Goodbye” when they hang up the phone. It’s implied.

There are no hard and fast rules about how much dialogue to use. It comes down to personal preference and whether characters are alone or with other.

When you add dialogue to your story, don’t get so focused on what is being said that your forget what’s happening around them. The narrative around dialogue should be put to use to help readers picture the whole scene including the setting, character movements, and mood.

Does your dialogue ring true?

Dialogue is a wonderful way to add immediacy to a story and make readers feel more involved in the lives of characters, It gets characters out of their own heads and actively participating on the page, which is way more interesting that the author telling readers how to think and feel.

It’s worthwhile taking the time to make speech concise, authentic and purposeful. Make every word count.

WITS challenge

Search your manuscript for places where your character is alone and reveals information through internal thoughts. Try putting them with another person and rewrite the scene with dialogue.

I’d love to know if you feel this improves the scene.

Bonus: Bring your readers closer to your characters with Sandy Vaile’s free Distancing Words to Avoid Guide.

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About  Sandy

Sandy Vaile is a motorbike-riding daredevil who isn’t content with a story unless there’s a courageous heroine and a dead body. She is an internationally published author, writing romantic-suspense for Simon & Schuster US, and experienced fiction coach, supporting aspiring authors to write novels they are proud to share with the world (and which get noticed by agents, publishers and readers), through coaching, courses and developmental editing.

Having a writing coach is like having an industry expert in your back pocket, to hold your hand through the writing process and act as a voice of reason when you’re standing on a ledge. Sandy’s exclusive Active Storytelling Method helps authors find the hidden gems in their manuscripts and make them shine.

Connect with Sandy Vaile on her website or social media.

Image by Mircea - All in collections from Pixabay

by Diana Stout, MFA, PhD

The day started out like any other. I sat at the computer prepared to continue writing a first draft for a new book, but that day turned out to be unlike any other.

The Writer's Block Day of Infamy

That day, writer's block paralyzed me for 10 ½ straight hours, the screen blinking at me the entire time. Taunting me. But, I wasn't about to quit. I couldn't. I was on deadline.

Looking back...

Many times, writer’s block had ruled my life. In those times, I would file, organize, clean, or perform any of the usual writer's block avoidance activities. This time, however, I just sat there. Avoidance that day wasn't allowed.

Thus, my ability to stare turned into an art form.

Until that time, I never doubted the existence of writer's block. I had always called it by name. Notable authors wrote about it. Nearly every month, the two most popular writing magazines would feature an article about how to avoid writer's block. If these experts were writing about it, it had to exist, right?

By the end of that horrible day, I vowed writer's block would be gone, never to show its ugliness again.

Magical Moment?

The next day, I sat down facing that same blank page. Minutes later, I decided to skip over it. I'd write the next scene instead. And, I did. Quickly and easily.

By the end of the day, having written a healthy pile of pages, I knew something magical had just occurred. But what? I began questioning the existence of writer's block and started researching it.

The Origin of Writer's Block

After World War II, psychiatry became a popular and prestige topic. Edmund Bergler, a New York City Austrian psychiatrist, termed writer's block in 1947. Within the field of psychiatry, writer's block is tied to depression, anxiety, a sense of failure, pressure, a lack of inspiration, illness, and other common debilitating factors. Some theories that arose from the psychiatry field tied writer's block to perfectionism or the lack of ideas, even the loss of self-confidence. Sometimes alcohol was involved as a reason.

Also, procrastination became part of the discussion with added reasons for writer's block: finances and life-changing events, such as war, births, moving, deaths, weather-related disasters, divorce, marriage, and so forth.

Basically, writer's block and procrastination were deemed as either a physical or emotional issue.

Traits of Writer's Block

The more common excuses of writer's block that I hear writers using today are:

• I don't have enough time to write
• I don't have a good place where I can write: it's too [noisy, hot, cold, not comfortable, etc.]
• I'm not selling anything; I must not be a good writer
• I'm not writing as fast as [insert favorite author's name]
• I'm feeling [depressed, angry, stressed, sad, etc.]
• I don't know what to write about
• I'm distracted by [people walked by, social media notifications, smell of food, etc.]
• I'm not motivated

In the past, I've written in a closet, busy airports, bus terminals, restaurants, playgrounds, where temperatures were so cold, I was blowing on my fingers, or so hot, I put a cold washcloth on the back of my neck to cool off.

I've written piles of pages during all kinds of life-changing effects. Writing was a stress release, a pressure valve where I could let go of my feelings and thoughts. Sometimes, I was doing nothing more than journaling, performing a stream of consciousness writing with no idea of where I'd use the work.

So, if I'd been able to write during those life-changing events, what was the real reason for that 10.5-hour day of no writing?

That's the day, I realized that writer’s block is a myth. Writer's block is nothing more than being stuck.

The "Aha" Moment

Skipping where I had been stuck allowed me to continue writing with renewed passion and motivation for the project.

The real aha, eye-opening moment occurred when I got to the end of that first draft. That's when I knew exactly what the skipped scene needed.

That book taught me, too, that inspiration and motivation occur after I've started typing. The more I typed, the more passionate I became about the project.

Writer's Block No More: Moves You Can Make to Get Unstuck

Getting unstuck requires action. Let me repeat that.

Getting unstuck requires action!

Here are some suggestions:

• Skip where you're stuck; leave comments, thoughts, possible ideas. Then, move on. Don't come back to this empty space, this hole until you have finished the draft.
• Could it be that you don't know your characters well enough? Stop and ask them questions that reveal their true motives, hidden secrets, life-long desires, wounds, and flaws. Obtain deeper information. This action helps eliminate shallow characters, too.
• If you're a panster, stop and decide on an ending, which, like taking a vacation, will provide you with a destination, allowing you to write/move toward it. Sometimes knowing the ending and the main beats / bigger plot points (stops you want to make while on vacation) is all that's needed to get the story moving again.
• Not sure what to write? Start writing your thoughts about various topics and see which one generates more content and passion. Not only will you zero in on one topic eventually, but now you'll have the starts to several more topics for potential use later.

Getting stuck isn't about where you're writing, what tools you're using, or if your writing style is as a panster or plotter.

Getting stuck is always about character or plot.

You're stuck because you need to learn more, to dig down deep on either or both. Do that and you'll be on the writing road again, happily pounding the keys.

Have you ever experienced writer's block? What did you do to overcome it?

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About Diana

Dr. Diana Stout is an award-winning writer in multiple genres, a screenwriter, author, blogger, and writing coach who travels with a crowd: characters who each want their voice and folks giving voice from the other side.

Stuck for a few years on her novella series after publishing the first one, Shattered Dreams, last year three were published, one so far this year, with the last two soon to come.

So, she won't get stuck later, she's plotting out a historical Gothic romance due later this summer, and completing a writer's resource book so many have been asking for. Fortunately, since she's taught the subject in the past, there's no getting stuck on that project. You can learn more about Dr. Stout at her website, Sharpened Pencils Productions.

Do you struggle with procrastination? Check out her June 5-16, 2023 Master Class: Using (& Avoiding) Procrastination, limited to 25 people. Procrastinate on signing up and you could lose out!

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

by Ellen Buikema

Foreshadowing is a literary device used to hint at plot developments that don't happen until later in the story, and can be achieved directly by making clear statements, or indirectly using subtle clues.

• Foreshadowing can be so subtle that it goes unnoticed.
• Often foreshadowing can increase the sense of mystery by suggesting that some event might occur but not how.
• Foreshadowing helps prepare readers for later scenes, builds a sense of suspense, and can help tie up loose ends.

Why Use Foreshadowing?

Writers use foreshadowing to prepare their readers to understand the plot as it develops. But it may also:

• Encourage readers to focus on certain details.
• Create a sense of tension.
• Give scenes a special significance.
• Create thematic connection between various scenes.
• Connect a work's beginning and end.
• Emphasize a character’s struggle against fate.

Consider the movie Die Hard.

John McClane moves toward to the Nakatomi Plaza to meet his wife for a Christmas party via a relatively calm plane ride. The writers wove the plane ride with cuts of a truck driving through LA traffic using a menacing music bed. This foreshadows the crossing of the paths, the meeting of John and the criminals at Nakatomi Plaza.

John McClane is barefoot, increasing the complications and risks. It was foreshadowed from the very first scene of the movie, learning about making fists with your toes, so that his bare feet seem like a logical occurrence.

5 Tips for Using Foreshadowing in Your Writing

Foreshadowing can be a tricky.

Here are some tips for achieving a fine balance of foreshadowing.

1. Plan your story. You need to know where your story is headed before you can decide what to foreshadow, and how that will happen. It can help to wait until a later draft to include foreshadowing. Plan, revise, and plan more.
2. Drop those breadcrumbs as early as possible. Foreshadowing right before an event can act as a “spoiler.” Give readers space. Make sure foreshadowing takes place long enough before the event so it’s not fresh information.
3. Scatter those crumbs. When deciding where and when to foreshadow, be crafty. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Instead, distribute your foreshadowing throughout the story.
4. Foreshadow in moderation. Don’t wear your readers out. Craft the right balance. This will encourage readers to look back through your story to find the clues you left.
5. Enlist feedback. As the writer, you are closest to the story, you may think that the foreshadowing is perfectly clear—but another set of eyes can really help! Find a willing victim, I mean friends, fellow writers, and hand them your manuscript. Ask them if the clues were too many, too few, too obvious, or just right.

Literary Devices Similar to Foreshadowing

There are several literary techniques that overlap with foreshadowing.

 “If a gun is hanging on the wall in the first act, it must fire in the last.” —Anton Chekhov

• Chekhov’s gun: is a writing tool often confused with foreshadowing. According to Chekhov, every element in a story should contribute to the whole, and each detail that “sets up” an outcome should “pay off” in some way. Eldred Bird wrote more on this topic.
• Red herring: Unlike foreshadowing, which hints at something that will happen in the story, a red herring is designed to mislead and distract the reader. Red herrings are often used in mystery novels, with characters suspected of a crime turning out innocent.
• Flashforward: A flashforward gives readers a glimpse at the future. This is different from foreshadowing, as you’re showing your readers what’s coming. Stories that use flashforwards develop suspense not from what will happen, but rather how it will happen.

Examples of Titles with Foreshadowing

The title of a story can be used to foreshadow plot events. Here are examples of titles that include foreshadowing:

• Murder on the Orient Express
• The Story of an Hour
• As I Lay Dying
• The Fall of the House of Usher
• Love in the Time of Cholera
• The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

Foreshadowing Examples

Some common elements used in foreshadowing can be found here. 

The following are examples of foreshadowing from well-known stories:

• In The Fault in Our Stars, John Green tells readers what is going to happen to Gus: “Osteosarcoma sometimes takes a limb to check you out. Then, if it likes you, it takes the rest.” Much later, readers learn what that means.
• Readers learn about life on a spaceship, The Australia, in Way Down Dark by James P. Smythe. The name of the ship foreshadows the twist of the novel.
• Jane Fitch’s White Oleander, has Astrid describe her mother as beautiful, but every description has an element of danger. Her mother’s beauty is like ‘the edge of a very sharp knife’ and ‘her blonde hair, like a white flame.’  She refers to the Oleanders with their ‘dagger green leaves’ and ‘delicate poisonous blooms.’ By combining the beauty with danger as a metaphor for her mother, she foreshadows her mother’s actions. Every part of the oleander is poisonous.

• Agatha Christie populates the train with people all connected to the victim, foreshadowing the revelation that the murder was a group effort in Murder on the Orient Express.
• In J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Harry’s discovery of the Mirror of Erised foreshadows his discovery of the Sorcerer’s Stone and the identity of the story’s villain.
• In Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451, repeated references to books being banned and burned foreshadowed the destruction of books and knowledge.

Foreshadowing is an effective device for nearly any type of literary work and most forms of storytelling media. This includes poetry, novels, TV, and the movies. Here are some examples of foreshadowing from these forms of art.

Poetry

• The bleak, late night setting in Poe’s The Raven.
• In Amy Lowell’s poem, A Fairy Tale, the unbidden guest foreshadows the presence of an evil figure.

Novels

• "It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what." —Atticus. In To Kill a Mockingbird Atticus explains courage to his children while foreshadowing the outcome of his legal case.
• The symbolic and real pain of Harry’s scar in the Harry Potter series.

Television and Movies

• Stanley Kubrick used recurring images of blood pouring from elevators, foreshadowing the future violence in Stephen King’s The Shining.
• At the beginning of the last episode of the Breaking Bad series, Walter White looks through the glove compartment of the car he stole to go back to New Mexico. A cassette tape, El Paso by Marty Robbins, falls out.

The lyrics foreshadow the final outcome for Walter.

“I saddled up and away I did go, riding alone in the dark. Maybe tomorrow, a bullet may find me. Tonight, nothing’s worse than this pain in my heart”.

Walter’s death is foreshadowed as he begins the drive, riding alone, to rescue Jesse Pinkman.

Do you use foreshadowing in your writing? What is your favorite tale that uses foreshadowing?

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About Ellen

Author, speaker, and former teacher, Ellen L. Buikema has written non-fiction for parents, and The Adventures of Charlie Chameleon chapter book series with stories encouraging the development of empathy—sprinkling humor wherever possible. Her Works In Progress are The Hobo Code, YA historical fiction and Crystal Memories, MG Magical Realism/ Sci-Fi.

Find her at https://ellenbuikema.com or on Amazon.

Image by Joe from Pixabay