Writers in the Storm

By Karen DeBonis

“That’s a fine piece,” the editor of my local newspaper wrote in his email.

It was my piece he referenced, my op-ed I’d submitted a month before the 2016 presidential elections.

“I can use this,” he continued.

I jumped up from the table and ran, blubbering and breathless, to tell my husband. It was my first acceptance as a “real” writer, and it indicated—as hard as it was for me to believe—that I could actually write.

As writers, we have many firsts. First finished piece, accepted piece, finished chapter. Shitty first draft. First 100 followers, 1,000 followers, 5,000 followers. First query submitted, query rejected, and—if we’re lucky and worked our tails off—first book published.

Like a baby’s first tooth or his first day of college, our writing lives are a sequence of milestones. The early milestones may seem less important than the big ones, like our books being published, but we’d never have that book if we hadn’t walked through the other firsts. And every first, every writing milestone deserves a celebration.

Our brain rewards success

Recently, in preparation of my memoir’s release in May 2023, I sent out my first book launch team letter. It was a marketing task I’d prepared for and read about for several years. I had amassed a group of almost 70 team members from 22 US states and 4 countries. The anticipation of hitting “send” flooded me with happiness.

As a writer, I’m sure you’ve experienced this flooding of emotion. It’s caused by the activation of reward centers in our brain, which release dopamine, one of the “feel good” neurotransmitters.

With challenging tasks that we work hard to achieve—think writing an essay, story or book—the reward centers ignite a feeling of accomplishment and reward.

But our brain doesn’t stop there. Multiple reward pathways involving myriad parts of our brain “work together to encourage repetition of the rewarding behaviors.”  Essentially our brain “tells us to repeat what just happened in order to feel the rewarding sensation.”

For you science and physiology geeks, here’s a 2-minute video explaining in more depth our brain’s reward centers.

Celebrate writing milestones with mindfulness; bubbly not required

When I received and accepted an offer of publication from a small press earlier this year, I popped the cork on a bottle of Prosecco which I’d kept around specifically for that occasion. But bubbly is not required for every milestone.

For the kickoff of my launch team, I didn’t celebrate with champagne, a bowl of ice cream, or retail therapy, but with mindfulness of the moment. In other words, I sat with the feeling, soaking in that dopamine like a hot bath, and it felt every bit as good as the real thing.

Anytime I finish a creative project, whether it’s painting a wall in my house, reviving a garden, or sewing curtains, I like to spend time in the milieu I’ve created. I think of it as my afterglow.

After a rush of dopamine, if we hurry on to our next writing task, we cheat ourselves of our well-earned reward. It’s like eating birthday cake but scraping off the frosting. (Really- who does that?)

Fending off rejection blues

Before I queried small presses, I queried 85 agents, and only two requested a full manuscript before summarily ghosting me. The other agents either didn’t respond, sent me a form letter rejection, or kindly told me the project wasn’t right for them. Sound familiar? And don’t even get me started on my Submittable page with its endless list of “declined.”

Writers face rejection more often than phone scammers get disconnected. To return to understanding our physiology: rejection causes our adrenal glands to release the stress hormones epinephrine (otherwise known as adrenaline), and cortisol, which may cause aches, pains, and digestive troubles, among other symptoms. In other words, our "brain processes a rejection the same way it processes physical pain.”

Many writers have a creative strategy for handling the “downs” of our occupation. Here’s mine. In addition, we must capitalize on our brain’s dopamine production anytime we can. One way to do that is to celebrate the “ups,” the wins, the milestones.

10 reasons why you should celebrate your writing milestones

1. Celebration feels good. These days, you need all the good feelings you can get.
2. You’ve earned it—just like the candles (and frosting) on your birthday cake. (If you’re not a frosting lover, please pm me to make arrangements for sharing.)
3. It’s a reminder of how far you’ve come. Use the positive energy to carry you through the next phase.
4. It’s an opportunity to practice gratitude, which is associated with numerous positive benefits.
5. It provides a counterbalance to rejection, which even the most famous writers contend with.
6. Like meditation or a good massage, celebration helps you decompress from the pressure of achieving that milestone.
7. It reinforces the tried-and-true strategy of breaking big goals down into smaller steps.
8. Celebrating gives you an opportunity to reflect. What went well in this stage? What could be improved next time?
9. Especially for new writers, celebrating your early milestone with newsletter subscribers and social media followers lets those fans feel part of the magic of your success.
10. It helps reinforce your brain’s physiological messages to continue writing and thus repeat the rewarding sensation.

What was one of your most memorable early milestones and how did you celebrate? Please share with us in the comments!

About Karen

Karen DeBonis writes about motherhood, people-pleasing, and personal growth, an entangled mix told in her debut memoir Growth: A Mother, Her Son, and the Brain Tumor They Survived, forthcoming from Apprentice House Press in 2023. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, HuffPost, The Insider, AARP, and numerous literary journals. A happy empty-nester, Karen lives in upstate New York with her husband of forty years. You can see more of her work at www.karendebonis.com.

by Eldred Bird

Let’s face it, writing is tough and sometimes the problems we face in our daily lives makes it tougher. Five years ago, my father-in-law fell and broke his hip. This accident led to two hip replacement surgeries and months of physical therapy. During that time, he also ended up getting a pacemaker. I was his driver and main support for all his appointments.

As he recovered, my mother-in-law ended up having several medical issues. I was her transportation and support as well. While all of this was sucking up my time and the stress was blocking my creativity, I was trying to write my third book. I felt like I was going to lose my mind.

So, how did I keep my writing on track when life kept trying to derail me? Let me share a few lessons I’ve learned the hard way.

Write when you can, where you can.

Thanks to modern technology we can work from just about anywhere and that’s exactly what I did. If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say that 80% of Cold Karma, the third James McCarthy book, was written in hospitals, doctor’s offices, and physical therapy waiting rooms. Between my laptop, netbook, and cellphone, I was able to steal back hours and minutes that otherwise would have been lost.

I’ve done my fair share of writing in bars and restaurants as well. My wife no longer drives, so when I drop her off at an appointment or meet up with her friends I plan ahead. I have my laptop and current work in progress with me, or at least have a copy in the cloud so I can access from any device I have handy.

Escape into your own world.

When life gets out of control it’s nice to have a place you can run to where you are in charge. When I write, I’m able to let go of the day’s problems for a while. Reading also allows an escape, but someone else is still driving the bus. Writing puts me in control of my own little world where I am God. Characters live and die based on my current mood. I usually go back and revive some of them later, but this helps me blow off some steam in the moment.

Channel your frustrations into your words.

Let’s face it, when the world gets out of whack so do our emotions. I like to use that emotional energy and funnel it into my writing. Jump to the scenes where your characters are dealing with a similar problem and work them through it. I think you’ll find it helps you work through your own issues as well.

When I’m in a heightened emotional state is also when I tend to free-write. It lets me drain my brain of all the turmoil and lift the dark cloud blocking my creativity. Some solid plots have been generated by these sessions, like my short story Treble in Paradise: A Tale of Sax and Violins.

Clear your mind with physical activity.

One of the best ways I’ve found to deal with stress and free my creativity is movement—any kind of physical activity. Take a walk, ride a bike, or clean the house. Do whatever works for you. You don’t have to run a marathon (unless that’s your thing). Put your body to work burning off the nervous energy so your mind is free to wander and find it’s center again.

It’s okay not to write.

One thing most authors forget is sometimes it’s okay not to write. Self-care is one of the most important parts of the creative process. Take a break and read a book or listen to some music. Call an old friend or spend some time with loved ones.

If you force yourself to produce when the inspiration isn’t there it’s going to show up in the quality of your writing. You may get something down on the page, but odds are you’ll spend more time later trying to fill plot holes and fix inconsistencies.

One final suggestion.

If there’s one thing the experience of the last five years has taught me it’s to have a good support system. When the times get tough, lean on your writing friends. They are the ones who truly understand what you’re going through and usually know the right thing to say. If it wasn’t for my weekly video chat with my author friends, I probably would have tossed in the towel long ago. So, to all of you (and you know who you are) I say a big THANK YOU!

How do you manage writing through the hard times? Do you have any tips or tricks that have worked for you? Let me know in the comments below.

About Bob

Eldred Bird writes contemporary fiction, short stories, and personal essays. He has spent a great deal of time exploring the deserts, forests, and deep canyons inside his home state of Arizona. His James McCarthy adventures, Killing Karma, Catching Karma, and Cold Karma, reflect this love of the Grand Canyon State even as his character solves mysteries amidst danger. Eldred explores the boundaries of short fiction in his stories, The Waking Room, Treble in Paradise: A Tale of Sax and Violins, and The Smell of Fear.

When he’s not writing, Eldred spends time cycling, hiking, and juggling (yes, juggling…bowling balls and 21-inch knives).

His passion for photography allows him to record his travels. He can be found on Twitter or Facebook, or at his website.

by Lisa Hall-Wilson

Ever figure out a solution to a problem, and then way over-use it? That’s what happens with rhetorical questions when we’re trying to avoid author intrusion!

Once you become aware of author intrusion, of what that looks like in either limited third person, first person, or deep POV, the easy workaround becomes a rhetorical question. A rhetorical question is used to create dramatic effect or make a point rather than elicit an answer. Instead of telling the reader how the character feels or inserting information into the story, have the character wonder about the information instead.

Here’s a paragraph from a mss I’ve stuffed in a drawer.

Laurel slunk deeper into her seat. The two other reporters and the admin glanced at her, but mostly they stared at their notebooks. She straightened in her seat and hooked her hair behind her ears. Why was everyone acting so sullen?

There it is. The rhetorical question that’s slipped in to replace the bit of author intrusion I had there. Problem solved, right? Maybe. Except, when I do a search for question marks, there’s 22 rhetorical questions in eight pages. TWENTY-TWO?? Hmmm…

Maybe you’ve done this too?

Here’s a whole paragraph of rhetorical questions:

But could she do it? Could she go back to the farm—to him? Could they fix their marriage? Did she even want to?

I saw this trend of overusing rhetorical questions in my student’s work too and the question marks began jumping off the page at me. The problem is that the author intrusion or narrator voice we’re trying to avoid by using rhetorical questions, ends up being a crutch that prevents us from taking that next step to go deeper with our character.

So, I challenged myself to limit the rhetorical questions to one a chapter. One. And here are the benefits of stretching yourself in this way.

Rhetorical Questions Aren’t Wrong

Rhetorical questions have their place in internal dialogue, the goal shouldn’t be to completely eliminate them (mostly rhetorical questions are fair game in dialogue). They can offer great surprise for the reader.

Most of the time the character’s rhetorical questions are offering information the reader already knows the character is thinking about. I’m repeating information instead of moving the story ahead. You’ve just tied an anchor to the pace of your novel right there. Why am I wasting valuable space on the page repeating things the reader already knows?

Flip Flopping

Readers want characters that stand for something. They want characters who have decided to press on towards a particular goal no matter what the cost – there’s no turning back. To do this well, your character needs to plant a flag, draw a line in the sand, pick a path, choose a side.

While we hope rhetorical questions help us create tension and uncertainty in characters (and therefore readers), over-using them allows the character to waffle. This waffling or hesitation makes the character harder to cheer for, harder to relate to. Instead, force them to be decisive and live with the consequences. Take a rhetorical question in your mss, and have the character think of the answer to the question instead.

Could she trust him?

Could become: He’d betrayed her before and nothing stopped him from doing it again. But maybe he was her only chance at a relationship. The ache in her chest kicked up, a sharp penetrating throb over her sternum. No, she couldn’t trust him, but she didn’t trust herself to make a good decision either.

The rhetorical question is a shortcut that’s meant to increase tension, but many times the shortcut undermines the emotional potential in a scene. It’s a lost opportunity to go deeper. There’s more emotional depth to the answer than the rhetorical question offered.

Try Starting With The Rhetorical Question

Back to back rhetorical questions point to weak writing or undeveloped characters. I’m a pantser at heart, so my first drafts are riddled with rhetorical questions. Case in point:

But could she do it? Could she go back to the farm—to him? Could they fix their marriage? Did she even want to?

I have begun to see these paragraphs as fluorescent sticky tabs marking a place where I need to come back to and go deeper with the emotions.  

In revisions, get curious about how the character would answer those questions. Start with the rhetorical question as a launching point for going deeper. What are the implications of one or more possible answers?

In the paragraph above, the female character is trying to decide if she should give her marriage another chance. There’s so much depth to plumb there. If she goes back to him, what kind of person does that make her? Would her opinion of herself change if it doesn’t work out? Why is it so hard to decide – what’s at risk? What parts of herself are upset and why is she refusing to listen to them? What would a stronger person do? Why can’t she do that?

Are The Rhetorical Questions Always Coming From One Character?

This was a pretty humbling question to ask myself, because I saw a trend in my first drafts where there was always one POV character who overused rhetorical questions to an embarrassing level. The other POV characters would have a reasonable use of rhetorical questions, but there would be one with back to back paragraphs of rhetorical questions. *womp womp*

Has this happened to you too? It’s a signal to me that I don’t know my character well enough. I don’t know WHY they’re doing/thinking certain things, what’s motivating them, what emotions are involved or at risk, or even what they really want. The rhetorical questions allowed me to waffle and skim, to avoid the hard work of going deeper. I had to stop being a lazy writer and get curious about aspects of this character I didn’t have an answer for yet.

Going deeper with the emotions in a scene is where the reader connects with the character.

Rhetorical questions can be a great starting point to diving deep into emotions, so don’t be discouraged if you find quite a few. Just nod. Maybe do a search and highlight what you find. This is a new starting point. OK, I know what that’s about now and I know how to fix it.

Try it yourself. Pick a random chapter in your WIP and search for question marks. How many rhetorical questions did you find? Have you ever used rhetorical questions as a launch pad to go deeper with emotions?

About Lisa

Lisa Hall-Wilson is a writing teacher and award-winning writer and author. She’s the author of Method Acting For Writers: Learn Deep Point Of View Using Emotional Layers. Her blog, Beyond Basics For Writers, explores all facets of the popular writing style deep point of view and offers practical tips for writers. 

She runs the free Facebook group Going Deeper With Emotions where she shares tips and videos on writing in deep point of view.