Every so often, we open the doors of WITS to our readers. We like hearing what you're up to in your writing, and October, the first full month of Fall and the month before NaNoWriMo, is a great time for this. Today, we'd love to hear your first lines for a new manuscript or short story. If that sounds daunting today, give us the first line of your new chapter, or the first line of a favorite book. We want to make it easy!
Fabulous first lines tend to stick with all of us. We ponder them, agonize over them, rewrite them, and rewrite them again. And more than once, we've actually purchased a book based on a breathtaking first line or paragraph.
Plus, a good first line is quotable.
Great First Lines
"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." – George Orwell, 1984
"124 was spiteful." – Toni Morrison, Beloved
"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins." – Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
"In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since." – F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
"There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it." – C. S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Also, our own Laura Drake has offered some great advice on writing a winning first line here.
But today, it's your turn to entertain or wow us with your opening lines. If you can't think if anything, share a favorite from someone else. Give us the title and genre, then your opening line(s). Feel free to comment on others' as well, and tag your writing friends on the post so they can share theirs!
We'll get you started.
Ellen
"I begged. I pleaded. 'No. I will not buy you a bike. If you got hurt it would be my fault.' What an odd reason not to give your child a bicycle?" –The Brown Schwinn, a short story
"I, Eliott, descendant of the Asian leopard cat, have been relegated to the back seat amongst the luggage. At least I can peer out the window and watch California melt into the distance. I yowled my displeasure from Orange County to Tucson. Serves . . . them . . . right." –The Guardian, a short story
Jenny
If she didn’t have sex this year, her girly bits were going to stage a revolt. –Unnamed Book 2, "Rx for Love" series
Monique stared at Thomas, aghast. “I’m famous?” –The Colony, a short story
Kris
"Where's Papa going with that ax? said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast." –Charlotte's Web
"You better not never tell nobody but God." –The Color Purple
"As Sylvie Morgan stepped from the streamlined Greyhound, a blast of warm dust hit her face like a hairdryer. Awesome, she thought. This is Illinois, not Africa." –The Regeneration of Tomas Renell, a horror short story
Now it's your turn. Share your opening lines (or a favorite from another author) below!
We hope this helps kick off a great month of writing!
Now that we know how to bug a room (see Writing Spies: Bugging a Room), it's important to look at the other side of the equation. How can our characters know if a room is bugged? A great deal depends on the character and the situation in which they would be under surveillance.
One tool for dealing with bugs is to avoid them.
If it doesn't contradict their cover, the savvy spook out in the field will opt for three or four star hotels rather than five star hotels, as five star hotels in major cities are routinely under surveillance from any number of governments.
Also, whenever a spook arrives at a hotel where they have booked a room in advance, they might find a reason to insist on a different room from the one that has been prepared for them. That way, they avoid any "unwanted guests" in their room.
When bugs are needed for a story, before they can be found in a logical way, we must first consider the character being bugged and the character or organization doing the bugging.
Some characters are going to expect surveillance. For example, Mafiosi and the FBI agents that hunt them are going to be constantly suspicious that they are under surveillance. Successfully bugging them will require a higher level of technical skill and caution than what would be needed to bug characters who don’t have reason to suspect they are being watched. Likely, these bugs will be on the more difficult end of the spectrum to find.
On the other end of the spectrum, a jealous spouse or neighborhood pervert is not likely to be as skillful at placing bugs as an FBI Agent, CIA employee, or even your local police. Their bugs will be easier to detect.
The next things to consider when determining how to realistically detect bugs in our stories are when and how the bugging equipment was placed. If the person doing the bugging was an amateur in a hurry, the job might have gotten no further than a nanny-cam teddy bear. If they were a professional, it would likely take high-grade equipment to detect the bugs and/or cameras.
It is also necessary to determine when a target will become suspicious.
If the target is a business executive or CIA employee visiting China, Russia, or another police state, they would assume that they have been targeted for surveillance, and they would sweep their hotel room or rental car routinely with professional equipment. They would also assume that they could be targeted by mobile bugging equipment when they leave their hotel.
On the other hand, if the target is an electronic engineer for a Fortune 500 company traveling overseas for the first time and staying in a five-star hotel, they will likely not suspect a thing. In fact, they will probably not even spot that they are being honeypotted when a gorgeous young Russian girl comes on to them in that hotel bar. . . . Yes. That's a thing.
Once a target does become suspicious, they may or may not announce those suspicions. For example, an intelligent surveillance target will remain calm and take the opportunity to discover a bug without the surveillance team listening in being alerted. The target can then use the bug to misinform their opponents and send them on wild goose chases.
Now it is time to think about the technology.
Bug sweeping devices with various levels of sophistication are readily available to the public at costs ranging from $25 for a simple sweeper to $1,500 for a decent sweeper with full spectrum analysis capabilities. (Search “bug sweeping devices retail.”) So even in the case of a non-professional or non-criminal, a character can readily obtain electronic sweeping equipment.
In the age of tiny video cameras and transmitters, we all have to assume that we are under video and audio surveillance any time we are outside of a secured space. This means that characters need to sweep the room or building they are in without being obvious.
Modern sweepers can be disguised as working cell phones, which can generate vibrations rather than tones, allowing a character to hide their true aim of detecting surveillance equipment by placing a fake call on the device and pacing the room while conversing.
Sweepers detect transmissions from either microphones or cameras, and they do not distinguish between the two. If your character doesn’t care about tipping off the surveillance team, they can use the sweeper to zero in on the transmission and then inspect the vent, lamp, furniture, etc. to discover the nature of the transmitting bug.
More sophisticated bugs can be remotely controlled to limit transmissions, but more sophisticated scanners can detect them even when they are not transmitting.
Another method a more sophisticated target might employ is waiting until nighttime and using infrared detection to find heat being generated by bugs. This method is quite effective for most bugs. If a character waits a few minutes after turning off the lights to let the walls and furniture begin to cool down, they can find nearly any bug with the right sensing equipment. However, smoke detectors and refrigerators can mask a bug’s infrared signature, so they need to be inspected visually.
Yet another technique for bug detection involves searching for pinhole camera surveillance. Pinhole cameras rely on small amounts of light coming through a wall via multiple pinholes. A character would turn off the lights and then, while looking through an empty toilet paper tube, wrapping paper tube, mailing tube, etc., they would sweep the walls with a bright flashlight and watch for inexplicable small reflections. Such out-of-place light sources may indicate a pinhole camera system.
Another type of bugging a writer might employ in a story is an infrared laser system that bounces off windows. A character can monitor the laser’s reflection off the window, and the glass’s vibration can be measured and interpreted as sound. Basic infrared sensing equipment can detect these systems and pick up conversations from a targeted room without having equipment inside.
In the absence of bug-detection equipment, a character can be clever and use their regular cell phone to do a basic bug sweep, even if it really is just a cell phone. By placing a call and then pacing the room, they can locate radio noise sources. Electronic noise might indicate a bug, but it might also indicate what we all already suspect – that we all pay far too much for hideously low-quality cell phones. Higher-quality bugs will not be detected by a regular cell phone.
The equipment and techniques are fun to consider, but before considering the technical aspects, be sure to consider the situation and the characters. Remember, whether the character is a complete innocent or a cunning old spook, the most important debugging tool is their brain.
What do the main intelligence agencies do and where do they operate? How do they recruit personnel? What are real life honey pots and sleeper agents? What about truth serums and enhanced interrogations? And what are the most common foibles of popular spy fiction?
With the voice of over forty years of experience in the Intelligence Community, Bayard & Holmes answer these questions and share information on espionage history, firearms of spycraft, tradecraft techniques, and the personalities and personal challenges of the men and women behind the myths.
Though crafted with advice and specific tips for writers, SPYCRAFT: Essentials is for anyone who wants to learn more about the inner workings of the Shadow World.
“For any author, this is the new bible for crafting stories of espionage.”
~ James Rollins, New York Times Bestselling Author ofThe Demon Crown
Piper Bayard and Jay Holmes of Bayard & Holmes are the authors of espionage tomes and international spy thrillers. Please visit Piper and Jay at their site, BayardandHolmes.com. For notices of their upcoming releases, subscribe to the Bayard & Holmes Covert Briefing. You can also contact Bayard & Holmes at their Contact page, on Twitter at @piperbayard, on Facebook at Piper Bayard, or at their email, BayardandHolmes@protonmail.com.
Fall. The time of getting down to author business and outline your novel. Nanowrimo is right around the corner and the end of the year push to finish those goals comes next. As I consider my writing journey, there are tools that have helped me get the words on the page and outline what I want for my novel. Let’s look at a few popular writing tools, Scrivener and Plottr, as I list my pros and cons from each. Perhaps, you use these and can share your tips as well, for readers in the comments.
Scrivener was one of the first adaptations in my writing toolbox, but it was not an easy transition. It came with complexity and a steep learning curve, but I had to figure out the detailed features through a paid course. Although it seemed like a helpful tool, back then it also seemed to require more effort than the creative writing process itself. After the muddling through, it is now a mainstay of my writing process.
Scrivener Pros and Cons
As I built my manuscripts on this new platform, it freed my desk from paper piles of rewrites. As in most fields, having an organized process leads to a cohesive product, and I was able to focus on my writing more.
Scrivener, for all its structure, needed some practical interior decorating to accomplish my goals.
The amount of features was overwhelming and I still worked out my detailed story structure on paper. It was hard to stare at the blank walls of Scrivener when building the plot took a lot of consideration, and it brought me back to my hands-on methods. Sticky notes all over my writing space walls, a scroll of paper around the house, and multiple word or Google files in various places, made my writing process cumbersome, but functional. I was not getting the most from this software and was frustrated by not accessing its potential.
Here is a breakdown of the software and the reasons I decided to stick with it despite my struggles.
Scrivener - Pros
Available for Mac and Windows
Versatile and capacity to build various writing structures. According to their website, here are the formats for exporting your work when finished:
“Export to a wide variety of file formats, including Microsoft Word, RTF and PDF. Save screenplays to Final Draft format with script notes intact. Create Epub and Kindle e-books to sell on Amazon or elsewhere, or for proof-reading on an e-reader. You can even use MultiMarkdown for LaTeX support and more.”
Various views and functionality: binder, corkboard, list, and ability to see multiple screens side by side
All features, workspaces, and files are customizable.
Places for characters, setting, research, metadata are included in the main templates.
There is a small cost to upgrade to the newest version which has a less cluttered look.
Scrivener Cons (for me)
The main templates were basic and nondescript—I needed more examples and structure for my work
Word files were not always compatible and formatting was often off after transferring work to and from Scrivener.
I spent a lot of time (and money) playing with the features and learning how to use Scrivener.
It is not an easy program to master, but with time and patience, it is possible to set it up to meet your project needs perfectly
Enter a software I didn’t know I needed: Plottr.
Plottr was introduced to me by other writers, as one demonstrated how they used the software to build elaborate worlds. Plottr kept track of details, such as settings and character traits over an entire book series. The visual layout was pleasing and easy to follow, but like Scrivener, required learning to master. As a recent convert to Plottr, here are aspects I considered.
Plottr - Pros
Popular Story structure templates are preloaded in the software. The ability to create your own is possible.
Each project can contain various plots. One main, one for each character, with a simultaneous view.
Adding multiple story structures can accommodate different story types or genre-bending books. Want to make sure your rom-com isn’t missing critical beats? Want the adventure to stay strong? Add Heroes Journey and a romance beats sheet and see how they line up.
Colors and cards are customizable. Follow a character through a series with their own color.
Creating character cards—and save them. Use them on other projects and save time.
Use common profile ideas when building characters (Meyers-Briggs, Enneagram, etc) to build chemistry between characters in realistic ways with more impact.
We can view horizontally timeline or vertically. A list view is also an option.
I wasn’t sure I didn’t already have a program capable of this work and didn’t want to replicate the wheel I already had.
My Plottr Takeaways
It turns out that Plottr has a wonderful set of videos available on their home website and on YouTube. There are free training sessions available, too. The program is more intuitive that I first thought and after getting used to it, it is very handy. The save features and the ability to create your own templates make tracking story details through a series much easier. You can bring up your own template from a previous book and build your new manuscript.
What I found most interesting about both software is that…it can work together with Scrivener.
Was spending all this time creating a story in Plottr going to pay off?
The quick answer is yes. This tool allows the writer to organize their story structure using which ever parameters they see fit for their genre and writing type. Time spent on building characters easily filters over to other parts of the manuscript and be saved for other projects without rebuilding. The tutorial videos are quick and informative, using practical examples of the story Pride and Prejudice and the folk tale, the 3 little pigs.
Here's the secret sauce. If Plottr is a place to note card the story’s bones and match it up to the standard plot structures of your genre, then Scrivener has open doors for the work you complete.
Plottr’s export feature saves into a Scrivener file format ready for you to fill in the chapters and scenes. So, it seems, my writer friends, that the question truly isn’t one OR the other, but rather it's AND.
Final Thoughts
Perhaps you can relate to part of my experience with these products. They are well known amongst writers because they are powerful tools. Worth the energy to figure out. These used together may be the combination that can help a writer stitch together the next classic novel, page-turning thriller, or heart-throbbing romance.
Don’t forget to take time for you, writer friends! Learning about new tools and staying current in the latest technology can help writers save time and focus on the creative parts of writing. But our greatest tool is ourselves, our physical being, and our minds.
I hope the dog days of summer are bringing you joy and satisfaction, even amid the stressors of the world today. Here is a picture of a little me-time I spent with my dog Char-Char playing in the water. We fit in extra beach time before the fall busy frenzy sets in.
What experience do you have with Scrivener? Do you use Plottr? Let us know how either of these have helped or hindered your writing process in the comments below.
