Writers in the Storm

by Margie Lawson

Everyone needs to become an expert on body language. Misreading body language can lead to disgrace, disaster, and divorce.

Yikes!

How well do you read body language?

Take the 10 Point Quiz I created and find out!

What’s Your Body Language IQ?

1. Ninety-three percent of communication is nonverbal.  T    F
2. If people say the right words, it doesn’t matter how they say them.  T    F
3. Some people wait a few seconds before showing a nonverbal response.  T   F
4. Body language can only be interpreted one way.  T    F
5. People subconsciously mirror nonverbal behavior of others.  T    F
6. If the words and body language contradict each other, the listener believes the body language. T F
7. Facial expressions convey 85% of the nonverbal message.  T   F
8. People can cover up their emotions by keeping their face blank.  T   F
9. Lips carry more nonverbal messages than eyes.  T    F
10. When anxious, people touch their face more often.  T    F

STOP!  

Did you take the quiz? 

If not – TAKE THE QUIZ NOW.

I’m waiting.

And waiting.

You really took it this time. Right?

Give yourself 10 points for each correct answer.

Ready for those answers?

1.   Ninety-three percent of communication is nonverbal.  T    F

TRUE

It’s a monstrous percentage, which is why people should monitor their nonverbals. Let’s look at the number one phobia in the U.S., public speaking.  

If you’re nervous you may display a cluster of anxiety flags, e.g., rolling in lips, tightening mouth, evasive eye contact, halting gait, soft voice, modulated voice tones.

If your anxiety escalates, your nonverbals become more pronounced: collapsed chest, shoulders forward, respiration rapid and shallow, pupils dilated, voice pitched high, face tight.

Project more confident body language, and you’ll feel more confident. People will react positively to the new, confident you. 

Writers almost always need more subtext on their pages. Subtext shares the psychological messages behind body language.

How do you get subtext on the page?

Facial expressions. Dialogue cues. Spatial cues. Gestures.

2.   If people say the right words, it doesn’t matter how they say them.  T    F

FALSE 

An easy one. Vocal cues carry qualifying messages that support or discount the words. Americans are pros at sarcasm. Watch your inflection, rate of speech, volume, and tone. Be sure your vocal cues support your message—unless you’re telling a joke.

On the page, dialogue cues carry that all-critical subtext.

Don’t write overused, carry-no-power, blah-de-blah-blah dialogue tags. Share subtext and write fresh.

Taken, Rebecca Rivard, Virtual Immersion Grad

Before: “Calm down,” he said in a hard voice.

After Deep Editing: “Chill. Out.” His voice was don’t-mess-with-me mean.

Leigh Robinson, Immersion Grad (in Australia) and Multi-Virtual Immersion Grad

My voice had an unwavering, unyielding, refusing-to-be-cross-examined-by-Jacqui tone.

Trust Me, Romily Bernard, Margie-Grad

I can barely hear Lily now. She’s whispering softer than I am, probably close to tears, and I should try for comforting, but I’m barely holding down a scream.

Romily Bernard could have just written the first sentence and moved on with her story.

Look how much more interest and power she put on the page. Impressive.

3.   Some people wait a few seconds before showing a nonverbal response. T   F

FALSE

Nonverbal communication is continuous. It’s on-going. It never stops.

Pauses and hesitations are not your friend on the page. Why? Nothing happens. And nothing happening is not interesting.

Writers share what happens in real life. We pause. We hesitate.

But body language is happening then. Make your scenes stronger. Nix the pause and get fresh body language on the page.

Body language is interesting if it’s written in a fresh way. And it carries psychological power too.

Rebecca Rivard could have had her POV character pause in the following example. But she wrote this fresh amplified body language piece instead.

Taken, Rebecca Rivard, Virtual Immersion Grad

I touched the switchblade in my pocket for good luck and loosened my muscles—jaw, neck, shoulders, fingers. Tension distracted you. It wasted energy, added to your mental strain. When you were tense, you made mistakes.

And mistakes could get you killed.

4.   Body language can only be interpreted one way.  T    F

FALSE

An easy answer, with complex levels of application. Cognitively, people know there are multiple interpretations. Yet people interpret body language at a subconscious level and act on those feelings. 

Let’s imagine a wife asks her husband to go with her to visit her mother, and in the next nanosecond his gaze shifts away and back, he sighs, and his mouth tightens.

The wife reads his body language, assumes her husband doesn’t want to go, and reacts before he can say anything.

She says, “Forget it.  I’ll go without you.” Her tone is sharp enough to cut a diamond.

Her body language—stiff posture, flashing eyes, harsh tone—surprise her husband.  He stares at her, his mouth open (confused) or closed tight (mad). 

She turns, grabs the keys, and leaves.

The husband stands there wondering what the heck happened.

I know what happened.

Her question, asking him to go with her, triggered a thought. He remembered that the last time he drove the car it vibrated, and he wondered if the tires needed to be balanced. His split-second body language—shifting gaze, a sigh, and his mouth tightening—stemmed from thoughts about the tires.

Whoops.

The wife thought his body language communicated he didn’t want to go with her to visit her mother.

He has no idea why she got angry and left.

Situations like that play out too frequently with couples, friends, and coworkers. 

People misinterpret nuances of body language and react. Misreading body language creates conflict.

Having characters misread body language is an easy way to get more tension on your pages and complicate your scenes. Smart and fun too.

5.   People subconsciously mirror nonverbal behavior of others.  T    F

TRUE – and so fun!

When you’re in a restaurant, watch couples and friends. If they like each other, they both lean forward seemingly at the same time. One leads by a nanosecond. They may reach for their beverages and drink at the same time. They mirror posture, gestures, facial expressions, voice patterns. Their body language looks choreographed.

You could slip mirroring in your book a couple of times. It’s a universal truth. And universal truths cement readers in the POV character’s skin.

6.   If the words and body language contradict each other, the listener believes the body language.  T   F

TRUE

When the words are incongruent with the body language and/or how the dialogue is delivered, people always believe the nonverbals. 

Every book needs body language that shows the incongruence on the face, or between facial expressions and dialogue cues, or between a face or voice and a visceral response.

You need tension on the page. Write this incongruence and share it in a fresh way.

Leigh Robinson, Multi-Virtual Immersion Grad

Jacqui’s smile was encouraging, but her eyes revealed her doubts.

Trust Me, Romily Bernard, Margie-Grad

“You’re checking my stuff?” I ask, and I sound good. I’m all light and unimpressed even though my insides are splintering.

Morianna, Corinne O’Flynn, Virtual Immersion Grad

“Thank you, Mr. Albie.” I let my tone express exactly where I wished he’d stick his chivalrous gesture.

The reader gets the incongruence in all those examples. Smart writing!

7.   Facial expressions convey 85% of the nonverbal message.  T   F

FALSE

Facial expressions are key, but vocal cues (what I call dialogue cues on the page), posture, movements, spatial relationships, all contribute to the nonverbal message.

Depending on the research, faces carry 30 to 50% of the nonverbals.

Write more facial expressions and write them fresh!

Wild Women and the Blues, Denny Bryce, 7-time Immersion-Grad

Her expression was like the pages of the screenplay I never wrote. Blank with a heavy shot of I don’t care.

Most Likely to Succeed, Monica Corwin, Multi-Immersion Grad, NYT Bestseller

I forced a small smile. The one reserved for funerals and unexpected encounters with the inspiration of every fantasy I ever had.

Like Father Not Son, Kristin Meachem, Multi-Immersion Grad, Australia and U.S.

1. She has the same pleading look our last dog had lying on the table at the vet with broken bones, bleeding insides. Save me.
2. He stares at me with no smile, no pat-on-the-back fondness. He stares at me with eyes I’ve only seen in hidden photos. Eyes I will never forget. He stares at me with eyes Kaitlyn once loved.

8.   People can cover up their emotions by keeping their face blank.  T   F

FALSE

Faces are never blank. Lips twitch. Nostrils flare. Eyes narrow or widen almost imperceptibly. Mouths barely open or barely tighten. Pupils dilate. Tips of tongues show when people lick lips.

To a kinesics specialist, these are all diagnostic indicators. To a writer, these are cues to write what I call flicker-face emotions. 

Star-Crossed, Pintip Dunn, Immersion Grad, RITA Winner, NYT Bestseller

1.  Her eyes meet mine for a fraction of a second, and something I can’t read flits through them.

2. Hope lights up her face, and then, like a flickering candle, it dies. 

A School for Unusual Girls, Kathleen Baldwin, USA Today Bestseller

1. A flash of surprise lit her eyes but instantly vanished, followed by a frighteningly cold steel shuttering of her features. 
2. An emotion splashed across Jane’s face, but vanished so swiftly I couldn’t identify it. Was it anger? Sadness perhaps? Or pain?

Flicker-face emotions are fun to write. Dig in. Make them carry power.

9.   Lips carry more nonverbal messages than eyes.  T    F

TRUE

The lips do more, convey more emotion. Watch people’s mouths. You’ll have more insight into their reactions and decisions.

Writers need to remember, an open mouth, even barely open, usually means the person is thinking about it, and they may be open to that idea. A closed mouth usually means no way.

You’d write the mouth, then you might share the POV character’s interpretation. What that means to them.

Picture a teenager asking to use the car. And they see this look: Dad’s mouth went tight, and I knew I’d never get the car.

I shared how the POV character interpreted that facial expression. I shared what I call "impact on the POV character."

10. When anxious, you touch your face more often.  T    F

TRUE

Self-touch behaviors increase when people are anxious. They touch their faces (cheek, eyebrow, lip, nose, ear), or near their face (throat, jaw, back of neck, behind ear, hair), as well as their hands and arms. 

Self-touch behaviors accelerate when anxiety is high. They are body language polygraphs.

When people are in a job interview, when suspects are interrogated, when a guy proposes to his gal, self-touch behaviors significantly increase. The person who’s anxious may touch their face, throat, hand, or arm every 10 to 20 seconds, sometimes every couple of seconds, unaware of their self-touch behavior. 

More good info for writing characters who are anxious or scared. Just don’t overdo those self-touch behaviors.

How did you score? 

Did you make a 100?  90?  80?

Body language is fascinating in real life and on the page.

IN REAL LIFE you get to monitor and moderate your body language when you’re pitching to agents and editors, interacting with booksellers, doing a book signing, being on a panel, presenting a workshop or webinar or master class.

ON THE PAGE you get to explore the full range of body language, and challenge yourself to write it fresh, fresh, fresh! Look at the power you have with body language.  You can use faces and voices to add tension, complicate scenes, and drive plot points too.

Dig for the truth. Share the tension. Write those faces and voices in fresh ways.

Thanks so much for being here today. Please post a comment and say Hi!

Hellooo… I’m talking to all of you!

I can’t see your expressions. Click in and say Hi. I’d love to know you’re here.

Want to learn how to write fresh facial expressions and dialogue cues?

Take my Writing Body Language and Dialogue Cues Like a Psychologist class. It starts tomorrow, June 1. Don’t miss out!

My next Dig Deep Webinar: Expand Time, Intensify Power

• Thursday, June 17, 12:00 p.m. Mountain Time
• Friday, June 18, 7:00 p.m. Mountain Time

* * * * * *

About Margie

Margie Lawson left a career in psychology to focus on another passion—helping writers make their stories, characters, and words strong. Using a psychologically-based, deep-editing approach, Margie teaches writers how to bring emotion to the page. Emotion equals power. Power grabs readers and holds onto them until the end. Hundreds of Margie grads have gone on to win awards, find agents, sign with publishers, and hit bestseller lists.     

An international presenter, Margie has taught over 150 full-day master classes in the U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and France, as well as multi-day intensives on cruise ships in the Caribbean. Pre-COVID, she taught 5-day Immersion Master Classes across the U.S. and Canada and in seven cities in Australia too. 

COVID Update: Immersion Master Classes are now virtual, taught through Zoom. Virtual Immersion classes are limited to six writers. They're two days long—and as always, writers get one on one deep editing with Margie. 

She also founded Lawson Writer's Academy, where you’ll find over 30 instructors teaching online courses through her website. To learn more, and sign up for Margie’s newsletter, visit www.margielawson.com.

Image by Usman Yousaf from Pixabay

Don’t forget about Lawson Writer’s Academy courses!

I’m so proud of all the smart classes we offer writers. Check out our powerful line-up for June!

1. Writing Body Language and Dialogue Cues Like a Psychologist
2. Dazzling Developmental Edits
3. Killing It with Conflict
4. Write Backstory with Confidence
5. Flying Write
6. Can We Talk? Dialogue the Write Way
7. Crazy-Easy Awesome Author Websites
8. Battling the Basics
9. Six-Week Author Mentoring Intensive
10. Profitable Facebook Ads

I’d love to cyber-meet you! Drop by my monthly “Get Happy with Margie” Open House, Tuesday, June 15, 5:00 – 7:00 p.m. Mountain Time.

Thank you again. See you in the comments section!

Fabulous first lines tend to stick with all of us. We ponder them, agonize over them, rewrite them, and rewrite them again. And more than once, we've actually purchased a book based on breathtaking first line or paragraph.

Plus, a good first line is quotable. Who doesn't remember these?

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” – Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen

"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." – Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy

"Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again." – Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier

"Call me Ishmael." – Moby-Dick, Herman Melville

Also, our own Laura Drake has offered some great advice on writing a winning first line here and here.

But today, we invite you to share the opening lines of your current WIP (work-in-progress) or recently finished novel in the comments! Or share a favorite from someone else. Give us the title and genre, then your opening line(s). Feel free to comment on others' as well, and tag your writing friends on the post!

We'll get you started.

Ellen

"Jack Schmidt ambled into the main office of the lumber mill carrying his father's lunch pail. Sounds of rage poured through the inner office walls." – The Hobo Code, YA historical Fiction

"Chairman Meow, our feline ball of fluff, occupied my bedroom window seat." – Crystal Memories, work in progress

Jenny

"Computer work and the Pill almost killed me." – The Best Morning of My Life, a short story

"Boaz pushed open the door to the tiny shop and inhaled the magic that never got old." – Brotherly Love, a short story

"He’d been seduced by space travel. He'd testify on it if he had to." – What Comes After Doomsday?, a short story 

John

"It had been two days since we left the Ice Palace in the frozen tundra of Arctus." – Max and the Isle of Sanctus-Book 2, Secrets of the Twilight Djinn

Kris

"Ellie held Rocky's fishbowl on her lap, watching stars from the forest ridge overlooking their remote Earth town. This has been their nightly tradition during their furlough, but tonight she had business to discuss with him." – Star Tracker, a New Beginning, a sci-fi short story

Now it's your turn. Share your opening lines—or a favorite from another author below!

We hope this helps kick off a great weekend of writing!

Ellen, Jenny, John & Kris

By Lisa Hall-Wilson

Ever had an editor or beta reader flag the moving or disembodied body parts in your fiction?

Eyes roaming/flying/darting…
Fingers flying…
Hand creeping…
Feet following…
Arms folding…
Heart pounding/racing…

Now, I get it. It feels like editors are just splitting hairs and camping out on semantics because the reader will understand what you meant. Let’s look at 4 reasons why we want to avoid these autonomous body parts in fiction – and because I’m always about deep POV geekery, we’ll look at this topic from that angle.

First, let’s keep in mind that you won’t be sitting next to the reader as they’re turning pages and stumbling over phrases. You won’t be there to explain things, or shrug, “You know what I meant.” If you’re justifying these phrases by saying "they’ll figure it out," you’re not doing your job. Your job is to articulate how the character feels and (in deep POV) create an immersive emotional experience for the reader.

The Power Of Specificity And Particularity…

Specificity and particularities enable you – the writer – to really focus on the emotions (the WHY) behind the character’s thoughts and actions. Often, in my experience, these phrases are used as a way to skim over the emotions in a scene instead of going deeper.

(Female is POV Character)

His eyes roamed over her body and she folded her arms over her chest.

His gaze started at her feet and worked its way up her body, pausing over each imperfection as if gauging whether he could overlook what she couldn’t change or conceal.

By being particular and specific, there’s more emotion conveyed. The first version the POV character could be coy, embarrassed, shy or feel vulnerable, the WHY behind her action is unclear. The second version (I hope – because this was just off the top of my head), conveys a sense of violation, of judgment, and even a hint of shame. The reader knows what her insecurities are without having to be told.

The Character Becomes Passive

When the body parts are doing all the moving, what often happens is the character becomes passive. Writers can rely too heavily on these expressions and the reader is left trying to discern how these body parts all became autonomous. Reminds me of Thing from The Addams Family. *body shiver*

Make sure the character has agency, not their body parts. If deep POV is your goal, remember to avoid drawing conclusions for the reader with the author/narrator voice. Often, these expressions are “telling” instead of showing.

Show Don’t Tell

Don’t roll your eyes at this advice, it’s valuable. (See what I did there? *grin*) In deep POV, the goal is to remove the author/narrator voice. These phrases aren’t the POV character observing/describing this about themselves, it’s the observation of an outside entity filtering what they see and stepping into the story to share that with the reader.

By drawing conclusions for the reader, the emotions and the WHY are garbled.

Steve’s fingers flew across the keyboard.

What emotion is being conveyed there? Could be nervous, anxious, hurried/rushed, concentrating, angry… We don’t know. To the writer, their intent is obvious. Steve is <insert emotion>. But in reality, the emotion (the WHY behind the quick typing) is unclear.

Steve tapped out the email, checking his watch every two minutes, before hitting send and heading for the door.

Steve banged on each key, typing as fast as he could think, each stroke more pronounced and sharper than the last.

There’s lots of things you could do with that, but the rewrites (hopefully) convey more emotion through subtext and connotation than “his fingers flew.” The emotion that’s powering the action (the quick typing) is much clearer.

Metaphorical Use vs Literal Use

Janice Hardy makes a really great point on her blog that you likely don’t want to eliminate every moving body part. She writes:

“My heart reached farther than my hands ever could.

“I think the difference between this sentence and say, "My eyes darted over the fruit stand," is the intention of the sentence. If you're trying to be metaphorical, or lyrical, or poetic, then a disembodied body part can work. It's clear you don't mean it literally.” (source here)

Deep POV still makes room for metaphor and poetic language, if it suits the character you’re writing. Remember, in deep POV, you are not telling the story, the character is living out the story and the reader is a fly on the wall inside their heads. That’s why the specificity and particularity is so important in conveying the character’s emotions and the WHY behind their thoughts and decisions.

If your POV character is observing another character, for instance, it may be appropriate for them to describe what they see as “fingers flying across the keyboard” but when describing their own actions, you’re better to show and not tell.

How would your character describing an elevated heart rate? Would they feel their heart is pounding? Is it trying to escape their chest? Does it beat against their ribs like a wrongly convicted man? Maybe they check their smart watch and note their heartrate is up over 100. It’s more about how your character would observe and absorb the information they take in, than about you being poetic in deep POV.

Do you find yourself writing disembodied body parts? Do you think there’s a place for them in deep POV?

* * * * * *

About Lisa

Lisa Hall-Wilson is a writing teacher and award-winning writer and author. She’s the author of Method Acting For Writers: Learn Deep Point Of View Using Emotional Layers. Her blog Beyond Basics For Writers explores all facets of the popular writing style deep point of view and offers practical tips for writers. 

She runs the free Facebook group Going Deeper With Emotions where she shares tips and videos on writing in deep point of view. 

Top Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay