Writers in the Storm

By Julie Glover

I enjoy presenting workshops, and the latest one I did was on “Writing Dialogue That’s Real But Even Better.” Toward the end, I give ten tips for writing dialogue, and I figured I’d share five of them with y’all today and five next time!

(All examples come from YA paranormal short stories I'm releasing later this year!)

1. Minimize dialogue tags.

Sometimes you need a “he said” or “she asked,” but oftentimes you don’t need a dialogue tag at all. You can show who’s speaking by having the character do or feel something before or after the part in quotes.

Before

“There she is!” my father announced, and my family exploded with excitement.

“Faye!” they all greeted me, and my two nieces, seven and four years old, dropped their Candy Land game and surged toward me. They hugged my torso with exclamations of “Auntie Faye!”

I was glad to see everyone, but suspicious too. Why were they here?

“Hey, girls!” I scooped each niece into a cozy embrace, and their soft curls tickled my nose.

“For our guest of honor,” my mother said, handing me a crystal chalice.

After

My father stood front and center. “There she is!”

“Faye!” My name reached the rafters in a chorus of excitement.

My two nieces dropped their Candy Land game, surged toward me, and hugged my waist. “Auntie Faye! Auntie Faye!”

I was glad to see everyone, but suspicious too. Why was my entire family here?

“Hey, girls!” I scooped each niece into a cozy embrace, and their soft curls tickled my nose.

My mother handed me a crystal chalice. “For our guest of honor.”

Above example is from My Team's Fairy Godmother.

Avoiding tags when possible is a better use of your word count, helps with flow, and deepens POV.

2. Use body language, tone, and internal thought for subtext.

The spots outside and around quotation marks are prime real estate for deepening character and plot. After all, what do we do when we're in conversation with others? We mentally process our thoughts and their words. We have visceral reactions to the content, tone, and body language of others. We give background for why we're perceiving things as we do.

Before

“It’s got to be better than before, when it was impossible to live up to the Nickie Gold Standard," Karyn says.

“Nickie sucks out every bit of energy my parents have," I answer. "They barely know I’m alive.”

“So no perks? Nothing?” Karyn fishes for a way to spark my optimism or at least my snark.

“Well,” I say, “Nickie did tell me I can take just about anything from her old wardrobe.”

After

“It’s got to be better than before, when it was impossible to live up to the Nickie Gold Standard.” Karyn air-quotes those last words, like they’re a brand.

Actually, the way things were before sounds pretty good. “Nickie sucks out every bit of energy my parents have. They barely know I’m alive.”

“So no perks? Nothing?” Karyn fishes for a way to spark my optimism or at least my snark. I feel for her. This wilting version of me isn’t exactly a TARDIS-full of fun.

“Well,” I say, looking for any silver lining, no matter how tarnished. “Nickie did tell me I can take just about anything from her old wardrobe.”

Above example is from My Sister's Demon.

Create tension and help the reader learn more about your characters with subtext—the unspoken part of the conversation.

3. Make sure the reader knows who’s talking!

When I’m copyediting, one of the most common comments I add in the margin is “Who’s talking here?” Without proper cues, it’s easy to lose track of who the speaker is. That’s even more likely to become an issue when dialogue goes back and forth for a while between or among speakers.

Before

DeDe strolled into sight, sporting a tangerine bikini on her tanned body. “Yeah, good thing you were there,” she drolled. “Can we get back in the pool now?” Her mother pursed her lips and cocked her head. A show of disapproval.
“I’m glad you’re okay. Justin was really worried when he first brought you in.”

As if she’d filled her obligation, she turned back to her mom, raised her eyebrows in question, and received a curt nod of dismissal. And permission apparently, because she sashayed out of the room and I heard the sliding door to the backyard open and close.

“Don’t mind DeDe. She’s trying to make new friends. New kid on the block, you know?”

After

DeDe strolled into sight, sporting a tangerine bikini on her tanned body. “Yeah, good thing you were there,” she drawled. “Can we get back in the pool now?”¶

Her mother pursed her lips and cocked her head. A show of disapproval.¶

DeDe forced a smile onto her face and turned to me. “I’m glad you’re okay. Justin was really worried when he first brought you in.”

As if she’d filled her obligation, she turned back to her mom, raised her eyebrows in question, and received a curt nod of dismissal. And permission apparently, because she sashayed out of the room and I heard the sliding door to the backyard open and close.

“Don’t mind my sister.” Justin gestured toward her exit with his head. “She’s trying to make new friends. New kid on the block, you know?”

Above example is from My Neighbor's Shapeshifter.

Make sure the speaker’s identity is clear by ensuring the character’s names or pronouns are periodically mentioned, by giving characters distinct voices, and by creating a new paragraph each time the speaking stick is passed, so to speak.

4. Use names in dialogue sparingly.

Other than getting one another’s attention or emphasizing a point, people rarely say one another’s names in conversation. (Not that many shows realize this. Looking at you, Supernatural.)

Before

“It’s one in the morning.” She scans my black tee and skull jammie pants with obvious disapproval. “Glynnis—”

“It's Glyn, Joanne” I remind her for the fiftieth time.

“I know you don’t have school in the morning, but it’s too late to be up and rummaging through the pantry. If I hear someone down here in the middle of the night, Glynnis, I’m likely to mistake you for a robber.”

The irony hits me with a thud. My stepmom has no clue there are live-in burglars in her house. Ghost burglars.

“Speaking of which, Glynnis…” She enters the kitchen, swishing past me in her thick robe—under which she’s probably wearing nothing, dear God help me—and gets a glass from the cupboard.

Old Elsie moves away from the stove, giving Joanne plenty of space.

“I’m missing a pair of earrings.” Joanne fills her glass with water from the sink, leans against the kitchen cabinet, and lifts an eyebrow.

After

“It’s one in the morning.” She scans my black tee and skull jammie pants with obvious disapproval. “Glynnis—”

“Glyn,” I remind her for the fiftieth time.

“I know you don’t have school in the morning, but it’s too late to be up and rummaging through the pantry. If I hear someone down here in the middle of the night, I’m likely to mistake you for a robber.”

The irony hits me with a thud. My stepmom has no clue there are live-in burglars in her house. Ghost burglars.

“Speaking of which…” She enters the kitchen, swishing past me in her thick robe—under which she’s probably wearing nothing, dear God help me—and gets a glass from the cupboard.

Old Elsie moves away from the stove, giving Joanne plenty of space.

“I’m missing a pair of earrings.” Joanne fills her glass with water from the sink, leans against the kitchen cabinet, and lifts an eyebrow.

Above example is from My Stepmom's Ghosts.

In the After example, the stepmom uses a name just once, so that the reader can note the stepdaughter's correction and the stepmom ignoring her preferred nickname—thus telling you something about each of them. Your dialogue will reflect reality and flow better if characters speak another’s name only when they have good reason to do so.

5. Be careful with exposition in dialogue.

While watching a crime show on TV, I tend to chuckle when a police car pulls up to a building, one officer says something like “This apartment showed up as one of the suspect’s former addresses. Let’s see what clues we can find here,” and the other officer appears to have had no idea whatsoever where they were going and why.

Of course, they would have discussed all that long before they arrived, but the viewer needs to know so the screenwriters just dropped exposition into dialogue. Yes, sometimes you have to give some information to the reader through dialogue, but if so, do just a little, make it as smooth as possible, and use realistic timing.

Before

He was average in height, but the way he held his body made him more striking in stature. His copper-brown hair and mocha eyes would have been unremarkable, except they contrasted so sharply with his stark, pale skin.

“What on earth is he doing here?” Kirsten spit out the question as if she had cobwebs in her mouth.

“Checking out colleges like us?” Us and hundreds of other students from our campus and nearby high schools. He must attend a local high school to be here, though I hadn’t heard any rumor buzz. I couldn’t wrench my eyes from him, this miracle man, while he shook hands with other guys in his circle and raised the sides of his mouth in a full, but tightly-shut grin. Hiding what lay past those peach lips. “I wonder if he’d let me interview him.”

“Interview him?” She slapped the slick college catalog closed. “Are you crazy? There is no way I’m going anywhere near that guy. I can’t believe we’re even allowing them out in the open…as if they’re harmless.”

Her opinion was widely shared, but rarely spoken in public anymore. Was she that narrow-minded?

I shook my head. “Our government brokered an agreement with vampires. They’re euthanasiasts now, helping terminally ill patients pass easily while still getting the blood they need. We should see them as mercy killers.”

She glanced back at him. “The important word is ‘killers.’ No, thanks.”

After

He was average in height, but the way he held his body made him more striking in stature. His copper-brown hair and mocha eyes would have been unremarkable, except they contrasted so sharply with his stark, pale skin.

“What on earth is he doing here?” Kirsten spit out the question as if she had cobwebs in her mouth.

“Checking out colleges like us?” Us and hundreds of other students from our campus and nearby high schools. He must attend a local high school to be here, though I hadn’t heard any rumor buzz. I couldn’t wrench my eyes from him, this miracle man, while he shook hands with other guys in his circle and raised the sides of his mouth in a full, but tightly-shut grin. Hiding what lay past those peach lips. “I wonder if he’d let me interview him.”

“Interview him?” She slapped the slick college catalog closed. “Are you crazy? There is no way I’m going anywhere near that guy. I can’t believe we’re even allowing them out in the open…as if they’re harmless.”

Her opinion was widely shared, but rarely spoken in public anymore. Was she that narrow-minded?

I shook my head. “They’re euthanasiasts now. Mercy killers.”

She glanced back at him. “The important word is ‘killers.’ No, thanks.”

Above example is from My School's Vampire.

There's a paragraph one chapter later that explains the government agreement, but it doesn't need to be here in conversation. They both know about the agreement! All the reader needs is a tease.

Try applying the same approach: Tease First, Explain Later.

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That's it for today—five quick tips for writing dialogue. Many of you likely know these tips already, but it's always good to have reminders! Dig deep into your editing process and look for ways to improve dialogue so that it reveals character, keeps the plot moving, and pops. In particular, make sure it's real enough to keep the reader engaged!

Stay tuned for Tips 6 through 10 next time!

Do you have a dialogue pet peeve, or something that you struggle with when you write dialogue? Are you brave enough to let us see it down in the comments?

About Julie

Julie Glover is an award-winning author of mysteries and young adult fiction. She also writes supernatural suspense under the pen name Jules Lynn.

Her first YA release was Sharing Hunter, a Golden Heart­­® Finalist, and her most recent release is Driving Emma, a young adult contemporary short story. Later this year, she will be releasing five YA paranormal short stories.

When not writing, she collects boots, practices rampant sarcasm, and advocates for good grammar and the addition of the interrobang as a much-needed punctuation mark.

Top image credit: ©GrazieGranata, CanvaPro

by Barbara Linn Probst

I attended an online workshop this winter where I heard Cuban-American writer Ana Menéndez make the intriguing statement: "Endings, like hemlines and male facial hair, are subject to trends." Ana noted that, personally, she knows a story's ending before she begins, although she doesn't always know how she’ll get there.

Her reflections intrigued me, so I decided to ask other writers: “At what point do you know your story's ending?”  I also asked:  “What kind of endings do you like to write?” Thirty people responded to my question, often at length.

I posed a related question on a few reader groups I belong to about the kind of endings they liked to read— twist, happily-ever-after, unresolved/ambiguous, epiphany, redemption, bittersweet, a lesson learned, an ending that represents a new beginning.  I’m always interested to see if writers and readers agree!  More about that at the end of this piece.

The reflections of the thirty writers, in response to the first question, fell into three camps: I know before I start; I rarely know; and sometimes/sort of/it often changes. Here are some examples of what they told me.

I have to know before I start writing …

I always know the ending when I plot, and often work backwards from there.

I always know basically how I want a story to start and end. It will, of course, be fleshed out and massaged, but the kernel remains.

I always know the ending before I start writing, even if I don't know how to get there. It gives me motivation to finish the rest!

I usually know how the story ends and do a lot of figuring-out about how to get there.

I don't actually start writing until I have a pretty good handle on a couple of major twists and the ending.

I’ve known the ending on every project I’ve written before I start writing.

But the getting-there can be hard …

I usually know my endings, but on the path to get there, those endings often change.

Always know the last line. The challenge is getting there!

I know the rough ending, but not the setting for the final scene or how my characters actually get there.

I rarely know when I start out …

My stories seldom follow the path I think of when I start writing.

I'm never sure where my characters are going until they get there.

I seldom know where a story will end when I start writing and I change my mind at least six times per story while I'm drafting.

I might think I know, but it usually changes along the way …

I have an idea of where I'm going, but the end shifts and often surprises me. The girls in the basement have me on a very limited "need to know" program.

The characters tend to take me in detours I didn’t expect.

 I know “an” ending when I begin. I need that bracket, but it morphs during the process.

Although I have an idea of how I want it all to work out, I’m willing to let the characters lead me and help me find the story (and the ending).

I always have an ending in mind before I begin, though I may change my original plans.

I typically have the whole story in my head, including the ending, before I begin plotting. However, the darn characters often have different ideas, and the ending surprises me. If after finishing that last line and I lean back in my chair and say “WOW,” I figure it’s the right ending for the story.

I usually know the ending somewhere around the middle, although I suspect I always knew it and didn’t tell myself earlier

Readers, of course, have no idea about any of this! What they see is the final product. Of the fifty-two readers who responded to my question about the kind of endings they liked, many noted that it depended on their mood and the kind of book they were reading, since the ending needed to “feel right” for the plot and style of the book. 

Tastes vary, so there was no consensus on the “best” kind of ending. Two elements seemed to stand out the most, though: everything-tied-up versus open-ended, and surprise versus inevitability.

“Everything resolved” or open-ended?

For every person who liked a book that ties up all the loose ends, there was another who disliked stories with everything neatly tied-up, because that’s not how life works.

No loose ends please.

I definitely do not like a vague, open ending, as though the author had no clue how to end his/her book!

I don't like a book with a tied-up ending. It seems too predictable to me. Vague endings give me more to think about.

I prefer an ending that doesn't tie everything up too neatly. I like when an ending makes me think, and makes me imagine what happens to the characters after the last page.

To twist or not to twist?

Many loved a twist ending, something they didn’t see coming, though others didn’t. 

"Twists" are okay, provided they aren't way out of line with the characters and their actions as portrayed earlier in the storyline.

I love the feeling of: "Wow, I so didn't see that coming!"

I like an ending that feels like the inevitable conclusion to the story, yet is surprising, which I know is hard to pull off! An ambiguous ending can be wonderful, if skillfully handled. I don’t care much for twist endings—they always feel like a cheap trick, unless done just masterfully. I haven’t read many twists that were.

Give me something completely "out of the blue" and unexpected!

It depends upon how much "sense" the ending makes.  But don't just throw in a totally unexpected ending—it doesn't work for me.

So what do we make of all this?  

Two tentative conclusions:

First, most of us writers seem to have an idea where we’re headed with a story, but it can’t be rigid. Even the most devoted plotters leave room for the unforeseen. There’s no simple answer to my original question—Who’s in charge, author or characters?

Second, your story’s ending will, inevitably, please some readers but not others. What seems to matter most is that the ending has to suit the story.

What about you?

At what point do you know how your story will end? Are you sometimes surprised? Do you like to read the same kind of endings that you like to write?

About Barbara

BARBARA LINN PROBST is a writer of both fiction and non-fiction, living on a historic dirt road in New York’s Hudson Valley. Her debut novel QUEEN OF THE OWLS (April 2020) is the powerful story of a woman’s search for wholeness, framed around the art and life of iconic American painter Georgia O’Keeffe. QUEEN OF THE OWLS was selected as one of the twenty most anticipated books of the year by Working Mother, a debut novel “too good to ignore” by Bustle, was featured in places like Pop Sugar, Entertainment Weekly, Parade Magazine, and Ms. Magazine. It also won the bronze medal for popular fiction from the Independent Publishers Association, placed first runner-up in general fiction for the Eric Hoffer Award, and was short-listed for the $2500 Grand Prize. Barbara’s second book, THE SOUND BETWEEN THE NOTES, launched April 2021.

Top Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

By Kris Maze

Writers could all use a healthy dose of focus and productivity and you can look anywhere and see a recommendation for Meditation. From your dentist's office to various phone apps, the benefits of meditation are promoted, lifted high on the pedestal of Zen, promising peace and a better life.

But even though I wanted to try the practice, I questioned what qualified as meditation and wondered which experts supported the recommendations.

What value could I expect as a writer if I invested the time to incorporate it into my routine?

I’m Afraid I’m Doing it Wrong!

My first barrier was an irrational worry that calming my mind would somehow make my mental focus worse. It's an unlikely scenario, but I worried.

I see meditation as a tool in the "writer's wellness toolbox." It is an avenue to tap into flow, to diagnosis what distracts you from writing, and to stay more physically fit. Meditation comes in several forms, but they all have an inner calm and focus as their primary goal.

The Mayo Clinic supports meditation as a health activity (which of course means, check with your doctor first!) There are several types of meditation, which I'll describe for you, dear writer, and samples for you to try with your own pens if you dare.

Meditation is considered a type of mind-body complementary medicine. Meditation can produce a deep state of relaxation and a tranquil mind.

-Mayo Clinic

Guided Meditation

The one is most used when listening to a guide describe mental pictures that you find relaxing. Listening to prerecorded stories with soothing voices, or any quiet listening you do that conjures up positive images of places or situations that relax you, can be considered a guided meditation.

Writing Themed Mediations are readily available and easy to queue up on YouTube. Try these examples:

• Meditation for Writers: Meet Your Muse
• Meditation for Writers: See Your Setting
• Writing Meditation for NaNoWriMo
• “You Are A Writer”

Mindfulness Meditation

Writers have an advantage when it comes to mindfulness. It is kind of our superpower. This term refers to being aware of one’s surroundings, and then accepting them. 

As writers, we play close attention to our five senses, taking notes on the smells and sounds around us, and noting what our characters might hear and see in our manuscript settings. Mindfulness often comes to writers as easily as breathing, which is also a component of this method.  So, what do we have to lose? If people-watching were an Olympic sport, writers would bring home those precious medals.

To meditate with mindfulness, you can begin with focusing on your breath. Let your mind wander a little and examine your thoughts and emotions. Identify how you are feeling and what you are thinking and avoid passing judgement. That is how to be mindful. To be aware and accepting of your writer self.

If you want a practical way to practice mindfulness, try this process championed by mindfulness expert, Tara Brach. Use the acronym "RAIN" (see below) to identify how you are feeling, to unroot to the underlying distractions, and to move into acceptance.

Recognize what is happening;

Allow the experience to be there, just as it is;

Investigate with interest and care;

Nurture with self-compassion.

Use your writing skills to find out what is taking your focus away from your writing.

Mantra Meditation

In this type of meditation, you choose a word or phrase, something reflecting the mood or idea you want to capture, and you repeat it quietly. Focusing only on the word will block out distractions and direct your thoughts to what you want. For me, that's more words on the page.

[If nothing else, repeating a word several times may make you smile and put you in a better mood!]

My daughter uses this method, but plays with the audio aspect of words. (She takes after her writer mommy!) Once, as a four-year-old, she repeated the phrase “Scotch Tape” in various inflections and voice alterations. After I stopped giggling and figured out she would not stop, I asked why she kept saying the office supply over and over. Her simplistic answer was she “just liked the way it sounds.” She then informed me: “My other favorite word is Napkin.” We spent the rest of the car ride home listening to, “Nap-kin. Nap… Kin. Napkin.”

It doesn’t matter what words you pick, as long as it helps you focus and relax your mind. If words and their sounds are your jam, this meditation could be your perfect Zen writer practice.

This video, Deepak Chopra's Go-To 3-Minute Meditation To Stay Focused, combines a mantra (your name) and a Guided meditation to envision happy childhood moments. At three minutes' length, it’s a quick way to try meditation.

Yoga, Tai chi, and Qi Gong

These three meditative practices use physical movement to incorporate your body and to calm your mind. Writers tend to be sedentary, spending focused hours at their laptops or notepads, and this one is my favorite.

The benefits of calming yoga or repetitive Tai Chi (TIE-CHEE) and Qi Gong (CHEE-gung) can bring energy to your writing. They also help you avoid injuries with tight back muscles and strained necks. Not everyone can do these exercises though, so please follow your doctor’s guidelines to use these practices.

One online yoga instructor, Adriene Mishler, gained a tremendous following (nearly 10 million subscribers) during the pandemic. Her audience grew as she brought peaceful thoughts and fitness to homebound audiences when our outside options were few. I personally enjoy her quirky humor and insistence to “find what feels good.” Doing one of her short yoga sessions, I never feel overtaxed. Instead, I have more strength and energy for writing.

Here is her yoga video specifically for writers.

My takeaway

Learning the multiple ways to experience Meditation made me realize I am practicing it in my own writing life.

When I get up to do yoga in the morning and spend an extra five minutes sitting with my eyes closed, my mind is free to wander and settle. As I start my active workout, I smell my coffee brewing as a reward for my follow through on a basic yoga session.

[I also accept that some days I am better served by taking an extra half hour to sleep and give myself permission to hit the snooze bar.]

When I take a two-minute guided stretch break at the beginning of classes I teach or do a breathing exercise before a tough task on the computer, I am honoring my body. I’m giving my writer mind a chance to reboot.

When I scribble in my personal journal, or reflect on my faith with a quiet moment, I am being mindful of my thoughts and feelings. I carefully step away from negative talk and take time to identify and address any stressors that can make my mind disrupted or jumbled.

Most important, as I practice that worry that "I'm doing it all wrong" is starting to flow away. 

Do you use any of the meditations mentioned?  Do you have other resources, author videos, or fun outlets that give your mind a break?

About Kris

Kris Maze is an author, freelance writer, and teacher. She enjoys writing twisty, speculative fiction with character-driven plots. After years of reading classic literature, mysteries, and thrillers, she began to write and publish her own books. She also writes for various publications including a regular post at the award-winning Writers in the  Storm Blog. 

When she isn’t spending time with her favorite people and pets, Kris Maze is taking pictures, hiking, or pondering the wisdom of Bob Ross. You can follow her author journey at her website at KrisMazeAuthor.com.

Photo credits:

• Be creative: Image by Fathromi Ramdlon from Pixabay
• Writing Desk: Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay