Writers in the Storm

by Tasha Seegmiller

I don’t know how many times I’ve watched Elizabeth Gilbert’s first TED talk. I know it has been at least once a year for the past dozen or so, but there were some years that I needed to watch is more often. It is easily my favorite.

Despite all this, I have still struggled with my identity as a writer, with my belief that I’m competent in this craft I have chosen to pursue. The failure of a manuscript to find a publishing home has all too often equated to a failure of me, of identifying myself and my work as one in the same. If a critique group didn’t go well, I suck. If my agent doesn’t want to represent a particular idea, my ideas are stupid.

I am at the point in my mental health journey where I can start to recognize when the voices are amplified by my depression and anxiety. I’m getting better at calling them out as liars and doing the work to ground myself in reality.

But I’m an English professor, teaching composition to college students and I see it creeping into their writing process as well. Even though I have them read Anne Lamott’s “Shitty First Drafts,” even though they read how it is hard for Stephen King to write, the process of getting words on paper, of seeing what they made versus what they meant to make, of recognizing what they are able to write and what they are reading are not the same. Very competent, smart students who are thriving in different subject areas stare at a blinking cursor, paralyzed by the fear of unattainable writing perfection.

Separating yourself from your craft

Recently, I learned about the importance of separating ourselves, of taking the time to find out who we are, as people, and then who we are, as writers.

So, take a few minutes and ask yourself who you are? Without roles or responsibilities or expectations or titles, who are you? Are you naturally funny? Are you laid back? Are you driven? Are you serious?

Now, who are you as a writer? I know several people who are naturally kind and funny who write very dark stories or poems. There are several people who are lazy in real life but prolific writers. There are people who feel like a character from their book.

But here’s what I want to help you understand (what I’m trying to help myself understand):

The work you are creating is honed by practice, awareness, and the tools you have. The work you are creating is not a manifestation of you. The work you are creating does not have a single bearing on who you are.

You are not your work and your work is not you.

You are a person, full of characteristics that allow you to love and live and celebrate and notice and share and laugh and eat and sleep. And when it is time to create, we need to create space for ourselves to mentally, physically, psychologically, emotionally, subconsciously cross the boundary and allow the writer self to enter into a maker state.

The work done during the maker state is not a reflection of you.

If we are going to work through this, we have to understand that while there are many writers who have practiced and studied and read and written and received feedback and even won awards, every single one of them will acknowledge they reached that point because of intentional persistence and also because of a bit of luck.

Luck that the market was looking for what they were writing at that exact time.

Luck that an agent/editor saw the vision they had for their work and helped them hone it.

Luck that some influencer/award panel/etc. loved that particular book that at that particular time.

They are not worth more than you. You are not worth less than them. You are a creator, honing your skills and practicing with tools that will allow you to make better work.

To repeat: your work is not you and you are not your work.

Do you agree, or disagree? Do you struggle with separating your work from your self? Do you have any suggestions to offer for how people can achieve this?

About Tasha

Tasha Seegmiller believes in the magic of love and hope, which she weaves into every story she creates. She is an MFA candidate in the Writing Program at Pacific University and teaches composition courses at Southern Utah University. Tasha married a guy she’s known since she was seven, is the mom of three teens, and co-owner of a soda shack and cotton candy company. She is represented by Annelise Robey of Jane Rotrosen Agency.

Julie Glover

It’s Valentine’s Day! You may adore this holiday because it speaks of hope and romance, or you may hate this holiday because it’s too dedicated to couples or to Hallmark, florists, and candymakers.

Regardless, let's use this as an opportunity to look at how we’re loving ourselves. Do we embrace and care for our relationship to writing?

Here are a few ideas for how to love your writer self this Valentine’s Day—or any time of year.

Give Yourself a Gift

One year for my birthday, I asked for a gift card to Staples. My family thought that was odd, but all my writer friends were like, “Ooooh, yessss.” Because writers know how delightful shopping for office supplies can be!

You don’t have to wait for someone else to give you a writing-themed present. Valentine’s Day involves giving gifts of greeting cards, flowers, candy, and more. How about treating yourself to something that makes your work easier or sweeter! For lots of great ideas, check out Jami Gold’s Ultimate Gift Guide for Writers.

You get bonus points for wrapping the gift and opening it with the fresh excitement of a child or for snapping pics and sharing your beautiful new purchase on social media for others to ooh and aah.

Speak Tenderly

A core feature of Valentine’s Day is saying kind, romantic, or sexy things to your beloved. How tender a lover’s words can be to our eager ears!

Now think about all the things you’ve said to yourself about your own writing:

• “It’s crap!”
• “No one will want to read this.”
• “I should just quit!”
• “I suck.”

Whoa, you are a terrible valentine to yourself.

Hey, we all are at times. What if we rephrased our words in ways a lover would say?

• “This is actually really good, but if you want to edit, I support you.”
• “I would totally read this!”
• “Don’t quit yet. I believe in you.”
• “You don’t suck…at least not in that way.” ~wink, wink~

It’s okay to share frustration from time to time, but remember to also speak tenderly to yourself. Writing a wonderful book is far more difficult than many realize, and you’re pretty remarkable to do what you do.

Show Affection

Valentine’s Day also means hand-holding, snuggling up, smooching, etc. By no means do I expect you to kiss yourself for your fabulous writing. (But if you’re feeling it, go ahead.) So what kind of affection can you show yourself?

Look at your workspace. Is there any way to make it cozier? Consider ergonomics, creature comforts, inspiring quotes and art. Do you need to slip away to the couch sometimes? Or the recliner on your back patio? As much as you can, care for your body’s comfort as you write.

Get a massage. Sitting for long periods of time and/or slumping your shoulders over a keyboard can wreak havoc on your back. A massage can work out the kinks and relax those sore muscles. Schedule a professional massage, or if money is tight, get a back and neck massager you can keep nearby.

Prioritize self-care. Eat and sleep well! We writers can be so bad at that. Not to mention exercise and meditation. But self-care practices pay huge dividends both in our overall mood and our productivity.

Show yourself affection. And if you still want that self-kiss, pucker up and go for it!

Plan a Date or Getaway

Couples who celebrate Valentine’s Day expect to have a date. Dinner at least, but maybe more. Why not take yourself out to write?

Day Trip. Consider what setting helps your creative juices flow. Do you get great work done at the library? A local coffee shop? A seaside restaurant? Pack up your supplies and head out for the day to your favorite writing spot.

Getaway. Maybe you can swing a weekend getaway to a quiet place that sparks your imagination. Bring along another writer or two to keep yourself inspired and accountable. My critique partner and I have had many productive weekends at lake houses (some of which we found through Airbnb).

Retreat/Conference. Sign up to attend a longer retreat or conference. I’m a big fan of Cruising Writers, where I’ve both learned a lot from presenters and crafted some of my best scenes! (Also, I happen to be hosting this year’s event in the owner/manager’s stead.) But ask around and/or check out the lists from Romance Refined or Kotobee.

Make this Valentine’s Day—or any day—the time to love your writer self!

What area do you need to work on to show your writer self more love?

About Julie

Julie Glover writes mysteries and young adult fiction. Her YA contemporary novel, SHARING HUNTER, finaled in the 2015 RWA® Golden Heart® and is now on sale! When not writing, she collects boots, practices rampant sarcasm, and advocates for good grammar and the addition of the interrobang as a much-needed punctuation mark.

Julie is represented by Louise Fury of The Bent Agency. You can visit her website here and also follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

About Cruising Writers

Cruising Writers brings writers together with bestselling authors, an agent, and a world-renowned writing craft instructor writing retreats around the world. Cruise this November with Angela Ackerman, fabulous writing coach and co-author of The Emotion Thesaurus, NYT bestselling author Darynda Jones, and a high-quality literary agent (TBA).

For the week of Hearts and Flowers, WITS would like you to share a line of writing you love, your own or another's. Just one. We want to share our own favorite lines and hear about yours down in the comments.

Many writers struggle with self-doubt, with imposter syndrome, with anxiety. The conundrum is that before we ask others to believe in us and our writing, we must believe in ourselves and know that our words deserve to be heard.

Go ahead, be brave.

Kris (K. Maze)

From a YA short story I'm working on. The female protagonist discovers wrestling as a way to fight back after life has given her a beating.

She jogged to the third mat when her name was called over the loudspeaker. Her arms still ached, though the bruises were fading. Tonight she'd definitely fight back.

Ellen

Two from Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmī on writing that I like very much:

Do you think I know what I'm doing? That for one breath or half-breath I belong to myself? As much as a pen knows what it's writing, or the ball can know where it's going next.

Don't be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.

Julie

From my own work in progress, Awaken. For context, the characters are climbing a mountain.

“I’m coming up.” My voice is steadier than my nerves. They flutter in my stomach like birds trapped in a too-small cage. There’s no other sound but the thick rush of wind ripping at our hair and our clothing and our confidence.

And a bonus line from a wonderful novel that I recently copy edited and can now be purchased, His Lady to Protect by Justine Covington:

Bright cheeks and sparkling eyes reminded Susannah of the conspiratorial laughs her mother had shared with this woman, and a lump the size of her mother’s gravestone formed in her throat.

Jenny

From my high-risk pregnancy memoir.

Fear stalked through my childhood, a rabid dog that refused to be put down. As the child of a retired military officer, who cuddled his glittery narcissism beneath a shadowy cape of PTSD, I grew used to navigating a world filled with fear.

Your turn! Share a line you've written that you love, either from your current work in progress or a previously published book. Then the rest of us will show our love too!

Top photo: Image by silviarita from Pixabay