Writers in the Storm

A blog about writing

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Power Your Fiction: Using Weather To Create Mood, Not Clichés

Angela Ackerman

Are you afraid of using the weather in your writing? If so, you're not alone. After all, if not careful, weather description can be a minefield of clichés. The sunny, cloudless afternoon at the beach. The gloomy rainstorm at a funeral. Overdone setting and weather pairings can lie flat on the page.

Then there's the danger that comes with using weather to mirror a character’s inner emotional landscape. Mishandling this technique can quickly create melodrama. We've all read a battle scene where lightning crackles as our protagonist leaps forward to hack down his foe in desperation. And how about that turbulent teen breakup where the character's tears mix with falling rain? Unfortunately these have been used so much that most readers tilt their head and think, Really? when they read a description like this.

Agents and editors on first page panels never fail to reject a few openings that start with the weather, either. Why? Because done poorly, it comes across like a weather report, and delays the introduction of the hero. Readers are not always patient and we should strive to introduce our characters and what they are up against as soon as possible.

Wow, weather sounds like a recipe for disaster, doesn't it? It’s no wonder that some writers are so nervous about using it they cut it from their manuscript. But here’s the thing…avoiding weather in fiction can be a fatal mistake.

Make Weather Your Friend

Weather is rich. Powerful. It is infused with symbolism and meaning. And most of all, weather is important to us as people. We interact with it each day. It affects us in many subtle ways. In fact, let’s test this by walking in a character’s shoes.

Think about walking down a street. It’s late afternoon, crystal bright, and a hot breeze blows against you. School’s out and kids run willy-nilly down the sidewalk, laughter ringing the air as they race to the corner store for a grape slush. Your sandals click against the pavement as you turn down between two brick buildings. The side door to an Italian restaurant is just past a rusty dumpster, and your fiancée’s shift is about to end. You smile, feeling light. You can’t wait to see him.

Now, let’s change the scene.

It’s sunset, and the weather has soured. Dark clouds pack the sky, creating a churning knot of cement above you. The sidewalk is deserted, and the wind is edged in cold, slapping your dress against your legs as you walk. You wish you’d worn pants, wish you’d brought a sweater. In the alley, garbage scrapes against the greasy pavement and the restaurant’s dumpster has been swallowed by thick shadow. The side door is only a few steps away. You can’t quite see it, and while all you have to do is cross the distance and knock, you hesitate, eyeing the darkness.

The same setting, the same event. Yet, the mood and tone shifted, all because of the weather I included in the backdrop. What was safe and bright and clean became dark and alien. This the power of weather--changing how people feel about their surroundings.

Steering Your Reader's Emotions

Readers bring the real world with them when they enter a story. Avoiding weather description will be noticed as it's  such a natural part of the everyday, and it becomes a missed opportunity to steer how our readers feel.

Weather is a tool to evoke mood, guiding the character toward the emotions we want them to feel, and by extension, the reader as well. By tuning into specific weather conditions, a character may feel safe, or off balance. Weather can work for or against the character, creating conflict, tension, and be used to foreshadow, hinting that something is about to happen.

Because we have all experienced different types of weather ourselves, when we read about it within a scene, it reminds us of our own past, and the emotions we felt at the time. So, not only does weather add a large element of mood to the setting, it also encourages readers to identify with the character’s experience on a personal level.

So how do we write weather in a clear way, and stay away from the pitfalls?

Use Fresh, Sensory Images. In each passage, I utilized several senses to describe the effects of the weather. A hot breeze. Garbage scraping against the greasy pavement. A wind edged in cold, slapping against the legs. By describing weather by sound, touch and sight, I was able to make the scene feel real.

Avoid Direct Emotion-to-Weather Clichés. There are some pairings we should avoid as I mentioned above, and with so many different types of weather elements we really need to think past the usual ones. Avoid mirroring and instead show the character’s reaction to the weather. This is a stronger way to indicate their emotions without being too direct.

Choose Each Setting With Care. Setting and Weather should work together, either through contrast or comparison. In the first scene, we have beautiful weather and an alley as a final destination. These two are contrasts—one desirable, one not, but I chose to show enthusiasm and anticipation for the meeting to win out. In the second, the weather becomes a storm. Now we have two undesirable elements, and as such, they work together to build unease.

Weather can have a positive or negative effect on setting and change the character’s reaction to it, so don’t be afraid to use it! Just remember that with something this powerful, a light touch is all that is needed.

Logo-OneStop-For-Writers-medium

If you'd like some help brainstorming description for different types of weather, check out our comprehensive Weather Thesaurus at One Stop For Writers (registration is always free). There you can access all sorts of weather phenomenon, and the sights, smells, sounds, tastes and textures that will help you show, not tell, building in the exact emotional mood you want for each scene.

 

Fog Image: Pixabay

Do you use weather in your stories? How do you go about it?

Angela Ackerman

Angela Ackerman is a writing coach, international speaker, and co-author of the bestselling resource, The Emotion Thesaurus: a Writer’s Guide to Character Expression, as well as the bestselling duo, The Positive Trait Thesaurus: a Writer’s Guide to Character Attributes and The Negative Trait Thesaurus: a Writer’s Guide to Character Flaws. A proud indie author, her books are available in five languages, sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors and psychologists around the world. Angela is also the co-founder of the popular site, Writers Helping Writers, as well as One Stop For Writers, an innovative online library built to help writers elevate their storytelling.

 

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Three Reasons to Believe in Your Work

"Disneyland! That's the answer." (Fiction 101 -- Drop your reader into the action immediately.)

My wife and I went to Disneyland recently. The trip was fun, of course, but it was also a revelation. Suddenly, Nancy turned to me and said, "The essay you are working on for Writers in the Storm! This is it! Disneyland!" It was winter; the heat couldn't have addled her brain, so I said, "Yes, of course. Um, go with that thought, darling." (Marriage 101).

She had me look around. The streets are spotless. The cast is uniformly courteous and friendly. People who work there care about the park. Everybody takes what they do seriously. She's right. So should you.

I want to tell you a story, the story of the very first time I was invited to speak to a women's book club. I walked in -- not sure what to expect, just hoping they'd read the books -- and the very first question was (spoiler alert) "What would T. R. Macdonald have done about his girlfriend Kandi if his wife Diana had still been available?"

Of all the things I might have been asked, this was one I hadn't expected. My temptation was to say, "Ladies, these are characters, constructs that are in the book because I put them there. They have no life outside of the pages you read."

I didn't say that and I'm glad, because they deserved a better answer. And because I would have been wrong.

That was my first lesson in how important what we do is and why we need to take it seriously.

We'll come back to the Mac-Kandi-Diana love triangle later, I promise, but for now I want to talk about why you need to believe, why you need to invest the effort.

One: Your fictional characters deserve it. 

I think I was in the fourth grade when I wrote my first story, about a little boy who rescues a stray puppy that has become trapped in a drainpipe just as a rainstorm begins. I cared about that puppy; I wanted to know if he survived. In modern terms I invested emotional capital in him.

I write genre fiction, like most of you, but it's about something, people and relations, always. That book club didn't care about the details of sinking a supertanker off the Orange County coast; they cared about the people.

Two: Your readers deserve it.

At Disneyland you will never see trash littering the ground. Disney felt that his guests deserved a clean place. You are asking readers for several hours of their lives as they find out who did it or if true love will conquer all. They deserve your best shot.

Three: You deserve it.         

This is the flip side of reason number one. When you are finally done, you have invested a lot of time in your work. Not quitting, going the distance, is good for you after its done. To remove any doubts, watch the opening of "Romancing the Stone" as the Kathleen Turner character finished her novel. You will be happier, and more likely to step up to the plate for the next work, if you have given it your all. Okay, okay, I hear you out there and you are right. I have never looked at any of my stories in print without thinking that I could have done something better. That doesn't mean I haven't given it my all.

So, there are at least three reasons why, like any cast member at Disneyland, you never walk past a piece of trash, why you give every piece of work your best effort.

-- your characters deserve it

-- your readers deserve it

-- you deserve it

I want to close with examples from two different art forms, and from extreme ends in terms of popularity or fame. First, one most of you know -- the Thomas Harris novel Red Dragon. If you haven't read it, do so. Just don't read it late at night by yourself. Heh heh. This is from the Introduction to the electronic edition of Red Dragon. And if you want to see how a really, really good writer goes about this craft, read it.

Harris talks about working on the novel late at night in a remote farmhouse, alone, except for one of his creations, or maybe not. I'll let him tell it:

I was enjoying my usual immunity while working, my invisibility to Chilton and Graham and the staff, but I was not comfortable in the presence of Dr. Lecter, not sure at all that the doctor could not see me.

-- Thomas Harris, Red Dragon

 Harris has made Hannibal Lecter real to million of readers; this makes it clear that the good doctor was real to Harris as well, God help him. Harris invested in learning about the man; and it shows in the work.

And from the other end of the spectrum, we have "The Hideous Sun Demon." It's a 1950's b&w movie about a scientist who is exposed to a lethal dose of radiation. He survives but the bad news is when he goes out in the sun he turns into a lizard creature and kills people. I think it's a documentary. In the essay that comes with the DVD the director talks about wearing a wetsuit and how hot and uncomfortable it was. There is a still picture of the actor wearing the Sun Demon costume where so much sweat has run down into his pants that he says it looks like he uh, had an accident. Again, he put out the effort.

Both of these people -- one a famous author creating a novel with a lock on the NY Times bestseller list, the other a little-known actor making a movie to fill a drive-in screen while teenagers drank beer and necked, cared about their work, and it shows. You should, too. Never be afraid to, like Rocky Balboa, "Go the distance."

Oh, my book club appearance. Well, like Hannibal Lecter watched Harris, T. R. Macdonald and Kandi, and yes, Diana, were watching me and whispering in my ear, and they allowed me to explain what probably would have happened.

A couple of weeks ago I went to a dinner with high school classmates. One of the women who organizes these things told me she had heard from one of us who is living out of state. In his email he said he was sorry he couldn't attend. He also said he was reading my first novel, the one the book club read, and that it meant a lot to him.

He lost his wife not so long ago.

I almost didn't include that. It's personal, cuts close to the bone.

So I am writing this to say if you are at a rough spot in your WIP, take heart. Invest the effort.  You're in good company.

Now, please tell us how you have invested in your work, and how it has paid off. I need to hear it, and so does everybody else.

*  *  *  *  *  *

About James

Sailor Home from Sea cover

 James R. Preston is the author of the award-winning Surf City Mysteries. His books have been selected for inclusion in the California Detective Fiction Collection at the Bancroft Library, one of the libraries at UC Berkeley. James’ novella, Crashpad, will be published soon by Stark Raving Group. See bookxy.com for more information.

James recently appeared at Men of Mystery in November at the Irvine Marriot.

The newest Surf City Mystery is Sailor Home From Sea.

James R. Preston's Surf City Mysteries Series

 

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The Character Arc – From Fear to Greatness

 Piper Bayard

A character arc in fiction, as in life, is the path by which a character transcends his deepest fear to achieve greatness. Without this evolution, the reader has no reason to travel with that character through the story.

 

Canstock 2015 Dec Fear Courage signpost

 

To create this character arc, we must know our character’s greatest fear. According to Psychology Today, there are only five basic fears, from which all other fears are born:

  • Fear of Extinction – This is the fear that we will cease to exist, or, more simply put, the fear of death.
  • Fear of Losing Autonomy – This can also be viewed as the fear of losing control. It includes the fear of not being in control of situations or people, the fear of being absorbed or overwhelmed by relationships, and the fear of being physically entrapped.
  • Fear of Mutilation – It is fear for the integrity of our bodies, which includes phobias of snakes, fire, spiders, etc., as well as the obvious, which is fear of actual bodily mutilation.
  • Fear of Separation – This is the fear that we will be abandoned, rejected, unwanted, or disconnected from others.
  • Fear of Ego-Death – This fear is that we will suffer shame or humiliation. It could also be termed as losing face or suffering damage to dignitas.

In the character arc, we identify our character’s fear and then beat him up with it. His fear provides the internal conflict throughout the journey. The process of beating him up is the external conflict. The external conflict challenges the fear and teaches our character things he did not know when the story began. This new knowledge gives our character the power to change and overcome.

Charles Dickens gives us an outstanding example of character arc with A CHRISTMAS CAROL. There are several versions of this classic, but for our purposes, we will look at the movie SCROOGED.

 

Scrooged movie poster

Bill Murray plays Frank Cross, a cynical TV programming executive. In the first few minutes of the movie, he fires an employee for disagreeing with him, has his secretary give each person on his Christmas list a towel as a present, and tricks an old lady in order to steal her cab. He even orders antlers to be stapled to mice as an addition to a live Christmas Eve production of A CHRISTMAS CAROL to please his boss.

However, as merciless as Frank is with others, he is just as merciless with himself. He turns down Christmas Eve dinner with his brother to work. Also, he is given the Humanitarian of the Year award at a banquet, and it means so little to him that he leaves it in a cab and heads straight back to work. He makes no time in his life for love or joy.

Frank Cross -- Image from SCROOGED
Frank Cross -- Image from SCROOGED

Frank Cross’s greatest fear is ego-death and shame. He pushes everyone away, including himself, in his quest for the top of the ladder. This is where his character arc begins.

After the awards banquet, the ghost of Frank’s former boss and best friend visits him to tell him he is headed for doom, but he can still be saved if he changes. Frank repels him with jokes and denial, but his fear of ego-death is challenged by the idea that he needs to change – that he will need to let his ego die if he is to live. Frank is momentarily panicked.

Ghost of Christmas Past from SCROOGED
Frank Cross with Ghost of Christmas Past Image from SCROOGED

The next day, the Ghost of Christmas Past in the form of a cab driver pulls Frank off the street and takes him back in time to Christmas Eve when he was four years old. Frank’s father comes in late and tosses him a package of veal as his only Christmas present. He tells Frank that if he wants a train, he can go get a job – that being four is no excuse. Frank sheds tears of sympathy for himself.

The Ghost of Christmas Past pricks Frank’s character arc by challenging his fear of ego-death – reminding him that he was once a child who wanted something other than material success.

Frank’s next stop is Christmas Eve with his young love, Claire, a woman who works at a homeless shelter. He enjoys these memories, only to have them followed up with a later Christmas Eve, when he chooses his work over her, telling Claire that she should not be so selfish. Claire walks, and Frank realizes what he lost.

In this phase of the character arc, the Ghost of Christmas Past challenges Frank’s fear of ego-death with the memory of the love and happiness he shared with Claire. Frank begins to question his choices.

Homeless Shelter from SCROOGED
Frank and Claire at the Homeless Shelter Image from SCROOGED

Shaken, Frank goes to the homeless shelter to find Claire. While there, a homeless man asks him for two dollars, and Frank says no. He invites Claire to lunch, and she asks him to wait a moment while she makes a phone call. Frank’s fears have the opening they need to reclaim him. His arc is not complete. He tells her to forget it, and, referring to the homeless people, he says, “Scrape them off, Claire. If you want to save someone, save yourself.” He returns to his office.

The Ghost of Christmas Present appears in the form of a sadistic fairy that enjoys smacking Frank around. She takes Frank to his secretary’s home, where her family is laughing and playing together in spite of their poverty. Frank learns that his secretary’s son has not spoken since seeing his father killed five years earlier.

Ghost of Christmas Present Image from SCROOGED
Frank with Ghost of Christmas Present Image from SCROOGED

Frank’s next stop is his brother’s house, where he discovers his secretary sent his brother a VCR instead of a towel. He plans to fire her until he hears his brother speaking kindly of him in spite of how negligent he has been. His brother gives him unconditional love. Frank revises his opinion about the VCR, saying, “It’s only money.”

The Ghost of Christmas Present then smacks Frank with a toaster, and he falls through the floor to land underneath a bridge. There, he finds the homeless man that had asked him for two dollars earlier that day, frozen to death beside a tiny Christmas tree. Frank learns that money it isn’t only money to those who have none.

During this stage of the character arc, the Ghost of Christmas Present challenges Frank’s fear of ego-death with experiences of family and unconditional love, as contrasted with the consequences of Frank’s own lack of compassion. Frank begins to question his values.

Ghost of Christmas Future Image from SCROOGED
Frank with the Ghost of Christmas Future Image from SCROOGED

Back in his office, the employee Frank fired gets off the elevator with a shotgun and tries to kill him. Frank escapes to the elevator and lands at the feet of the Ghost of Christmas Future – the grim reaper.

Frank’s first stop is an institution where his secretary’s traumatized son is now a young man, tied into a straitjacket and imprisoned in a padded cell. Frank is horrified and begins thinking of ways he can help the child before it’s too late.

The elevator next opens on a decked out Claire having dinner with high society friends, telling the waiter to get rid of some begging children. Cold and soulless, she quotes Frank as telling her, “Scrape them off, Claire. If you want to save somebody, save yourself.” Frank experiences true regret.

Then the elevator opens on Frank’s funeral. Only his brother and his brother’s wife are present. When the casket is fed into the fire, Frank finds himself inside it, burning.

The Ghost of Christmas Future challenges Frank’s fear of ego-death by showing him the consequences to himself and to others if he does not face this fear and change.

Frank is convinced. He has learned the lessons he needs to allow his ego to die and to become the person he needs to be to survive. He is ready to complete his character arc.

Frank Redeemed from SCROOGED
Frank Redeemed Image from SCROOGED

He pounds the casket, and the lid opens, along with the elevator doors, and he’s back in his office. He hugs the fired employee and re-hires him with a promotion. Then he runs onto the set of the live Christmas Eve production of A CHRISTMAS CAROL and shares his newfound humility with the live TV audience, believing he will lose his job and all of the status he clung to so dearly only a few hours before. Claire sees him on TV and joins him, and his secretary’s little boy speaks for the first time. Frank shares the miracle of his redemption and encourages everyone to pass on the love of the season every day of the year.

Frank transcends his greatest fear to achieve personal greatness – the character arc.

Happy Holidays to all, and God bless us, every one.

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

My thanks to bestselling authors Vicki Hinze and Kristen Lamb for teaching me the nature and value of character arc.

Have you used fear to propel a character arc? do you have a "preferred" fear that works best for your writing?

*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

Bayard & Holmes Official Photo

Piper Bayard is an author and a recovering attorney. Her writing partner, Jay Holmes, is an anonymous senior member of the intelligence community and a field veteran from the Cold War through the current Global War on Terror. Together, they are the bestselling authors of the international spy thriller, THE SPY BRIDE, now available on kindle and in paperback at Amazon and on nook and paperback at Barnes & Noble.

THE SPY BRIDE Final Cover 3 inch

THE SPY BRIDE HOLIDAY GIVEAWAY . . . To celebrate our readers this holiday season, we will randomly select one newsletter recipient to receive a stash of Ghirardelli chocolate. Enter to win by subscribing at Bayard & Holmes Covert Briefing.

You can contact Bayard & Holmes in comments below, at their site, Bayard & Holmes, on Twitter at @piperbayard, on Facebook at Bayard & Holmes, or at their email, BH@BayardandHolmes.com.

©2015 Bayard & Holmes. All content on this page is protected by copyright. If you would like to use any part of this, please contact us at the above links to request permission.

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