Writers in the Storm

Susan Squires

 Recently, I wrote a blog here at WITS about how to put sexual tension in your romance novel. But it felt like only half the story. Sexual tension often leads to…you guessed it…sex. Not all romances have sex in them, but many do. I’ve been teaching a class on writing romance and in talking to my students I found many were intimidated by writing sex scenes. The funny thing is, sex scenes don’t have to be scary at all. Here are nine simple tips for painless sex scenes.

Sex scenes are an extension of sexual tension. While erotic romance may have frequent sex scenes that start right away (more about that later), and sweet romances may put the sex scene off until after the book concludes, most romances fall somewhere in the middle. Funny, because that’s often around where most sex scenes actually occur. While there’s no rule about this (I’m not much for rules about anything) what I often see in books that I enjoy, is that you want to stretch out the question about whether or when the hero and heroine will have sex as long as possible. By the time you get to sex (except in erotic romance, where you can really get there FAST) you want the reader to know the characters, understand that they’re right for each other, and really be rooting for them to have wonderful, mind-blasting sex.

Of course, if everything is perfect, and their relationship is “solved” by the sex in the middle of the book, you’ve just released all tension and the story is over. So sex in the middle of the book can’t be perfect. It can be good sex initiated for the wrong reason, bad sex, or good sex that brings up other problems in the relationship. The plot or other characters can also intervene to keep the couple apart. But there have to be big unresolved issues. Save the good sex that resolves the relationship, or that results from a resolved relationship, for later.

 2. It isn’t only about body parts. If you happened to read my blog here at WITS on sexual tension, the title was “It’s all in your head.” The same can be said for sex scenes. There are only so many ways to have sex. What keeps it from getting boring is the emotional content of the scene, not just the physical sensations. When two people have sex, they are at their most vulnerable. Their most intimate parts are exposed. They’re concerned about their body, or their performance, or their skill level. They bring all their previous history with sex and all their sexual issues right into the encounter you’re describing. If they’ve had bad sex, or poor relationships, or they’re a virgin, or their father abused their mother, it’s all in the bedroom (or the kitchen or the barn) with them. Which makes sex scenes often the most revealing scenes you write about your characters. Preparation is key. Know what your character’s sexual history has been. Know how your character feels about sex and about their body. Then project the consequences of how both your participants feel about sex and about themselves into the sex scene. What would happen? What could be good for them in this scene? What could be bad?

3. Point of View. Which brings us to POV. If you are going to show the emotional consequence of sex, then sticking to a POV like glue is very important. Be that character. What would the character notice? What would he or she feel emotionally? Physically? (A little used sense in most writing is the sense of touch. Here’s your chance!)

That doesn’t mean you can’t use both participant’s points of view, even in a single scene. The scene is richer when the reader shares the experience of both parties, and it’s easier for the writer to show how the act of having sex is affecting them by using both points of view. Many books head-hop in sex scenes going from the heroine’s POV to the hero’s and back again frequently and with very little notice. I’m not a fan of head-hopping. I think the reader needs to feel anchored in the POV to stay firmly engaged in the scene. They need to be very clear who’s eyes they are seeing the scene through at any given moment. Personally, I prefer a drop down before changing to another POV. But just make sure the change is crystal clear. Writing a sex scene from the POV of your opposite sex can be quite liberating, by the way.

4. Body Parts and Point of View. While body parts aren’t the main attraction, you have to get the mechanics right. Arms and legs can’t go where only a member of Cirque du Soleil could put them. I recently read a book where a guy made love to a woman who was sitting on top of a kitchen counter. He was six feet tall. Nope. Not unless he was standing on a couple of phone books. You don’t want your reader worrying about whether the stunt you are describing is physically possible.

I think the thing that makes writers most nervous about sex scenes is what to call the body parts. No one wants to name a crucial body part something laughable. Remember all those descriptions, “his pillar of strength?” or “her nub of pleasure?” We’re afraid to sound silly. But we aren’t always comfortable using graphic colloquial language either.

However, in some ways, it isn’t about us as authors. What words would your characters use to describe body parts? If your POV character is an innocent, maybe the only words she knows are the clinical ones (like “penis” or “clitoris”.) But a sexually experienced guy is going to use colloquial language, rarely clinical. Not sure what guys would call their equipment, or their partner’s? Husbands and boyfriends are great resources.. Or ask girlfriends in a long-term relationship. They know. Stay away from purple prose euphemisms UNLESS, your heroine is an unrealistic romantic who reads a lot of purple prose. Then she’s going to think and talk like that. And it won’t be silly, because it will go with her character and tell the reader something about her.

Want to test your description for silliness? Read it aloud. Would anyone you know ever say that? If no, then it’s the author talking, not your character, so rethink the words you’re using.

Be aware of which words are negatively “loaded” for many readers, though. They are usually colloquial names for female genitalia. Know your audience to understand whether they are ready for those words.

5. How many ways can you describe an orgasm? Because an orgasm is such a unique feeling, it can be described in a lot of ways. But here’s where originality counts. It’s important to stay away from clichés. For instance, “seeing stars” and “breaking apart” have been done to death. You’ll be able to think of your own over-used descriptions. So it’s worth it to think about this description a little bit and stay away from the obvious. This is definitely an area where purple prose can creep in.

6. How much do you describe? Think of your audience. Erotic romance readers? Readers who like some heat? Just west of sweet? Then think of you. What do you like to read? That will probably tell you what level of heat you are comfortable with. If a book is “hot” there’s really not much you can’t or don’t describe. That doesn’t mean you devote twenty pages to a single sex scene. Like any other description, you’re going to describe only the important parts. If you’d rather, you can take readers right up to the act itself and close the bedroom door. The important part is not to write what you aren’t comfortable with. Readers can spot that a mile away.

7. What emotions are appropriate in a sex scene? All of them. Because when we are at our most vulnerable, sometimes our deepest or our most hidden emotions just pop out. Women often cry after sexual release. Laughing is frequent. Sex can be a power play for one or both partners. Anger? Oh, yeah.

The important thing is that you stay in the POV of the character, and describe what that person is feeling, and that you know what about that character makes them feel that way. I guarantee your sex scenes won’t seem silly at all.

8. A word about research. Okay, let’s get this out on the table. Do you have to have done everything you put in a sex scene? Nope. Imagination counts. You can get a lot from other books. There are only so many sexual situations, and so there’s no copyright on sex in a boat, or sexual position number 53 from the Kama Sutra, page 76, Diagram 2. Don’t worry, by the time you put it through your story and your character’s point of view, it will seem fresh and new. There are lots of great research materials online, including sex-positive sex education sites covering just about any act you can imagine. There’s a difference between sex-positive sites and pornography sites, by the way. Dipping too far into pornography may give you unrealistic ideas about what real people experience when they have sex. I think it helps to have had some sex sometime, just to so you understand the feelings involved. But writing sex scenes including things you’ve never done is a great way to experience vicariously things you can’t talk your partner into doing!

9. Does any of this apply to erotic romance? In erotic romance sex often occurs right out of the gate and frequently thereafter. But the most satisfying erotic romance has an emotional arc for the sex scenes as well. They are still about what that incident of sexual activity means to the characters engaged in it, so POV is still very important. And the relationship behind the sex isn’t resolved until the end. The description of sex may be more graphic and will use colloquial and even highly charged words. But all the elements of description, use of body parts, etc. still goes.

So don’t dread the sex scene. It offers wonderful opportunities to reveal your characters and have some fun too.

Want to share a story about writing a sex scene? If you have a question, now is the time to ask!

 Susan Squires is New York Times bestselling author known for breaking the rules of romance writing. She has won multiple contests for published novels and reviewer’s choice awards. Publisher’s Weekly named Body Electric one of the most influential mass market books of 2003 and One with the Shadows, the fifth in her vampire Companion Series, a Best book of 2007.

A novella called Your Magic Touch (part of the Children of Merlin series which begins with Do You Believe in Magic?), released last month. All of her books are available at Amazon and other booksellers. Susan’s latest book, Night Magic, arrives in August.

 Susan has a Masters in English literature from UCLA and once toiled as an executive for a Fortune 500 company. Now she lives at the beach in Southern California with her husband, Harry, a writer of supernatural thrillers, and three very active Belgian Sheepdogs, who like to help by putting their chins on the keyboarddddddddddddddddd.

 

photo credit: cellar_door_films via photopin cc

I don’t write a scene until I know why I’m writing it, what happens, and how it’s advancing the plot, or the characters. Not because I’m so exacting, but because I hate edits with the zeal of an over-caffeinated Mary Kay rep. No, really. I aspire to the Linda Howard school of editing – write, go over it once and done. I’m not there yet (as my critters will tell you, when they finish chortling), but it’s a goal.

Because of my process, I very seldom have what I call, ‘orts’ – scenes, or pieces of scenes that are cut from the manuscript. But in my current WIP, I remembered a scene that was cut from my very first book in one of the 8,423 edits before I sold it and it became Her Road Home. It was a pizza joint date – and I wanted my current couple to go there. I imagined I could cut and paste, change the names, change a bit of the character’s voices, and be good to go.

Um. Not so much.

In reading that scene over, I could see how my writing has gotten better. The scene didn’t suck, (I mean, after 8,423 edits how could it?) but I can see little changes I can make to improve it. I thought I’d show you the before and after here. Maybe it will help your final edit process.

Before:

Laughter, talk and music from a jukebox somewhere combined to make quite a din.

After:

She walked into wall of warm air laced with the smell of yeast and spices. Voices and laughter overrode a jukebox blaring, ‘The Lion Sleeps Tonight’ from somewhere in the dim recesses.

See how the first is ‘telling’, where the specificity of the details in the second actually puts you in that pizza joint?

Before: (the name of the place is Yukon Pizza)

“What’s pizza got to do with Alaska?” Ian said, holding the door open for her.

After:

“What’s pizza got to do with Alaska?” He held the door open for her.

There are only two of them in the scene at this point, so I can drop the tag. After all, the ONLY time you need a tag is when the reader would be confused as to whom is speaking. Do you see how it brings the reader more into the scene? Look closely at your tags. They’re distancing too.

Then I read it over one more time, and came up with another small change.

After – after

“What’s pizza got to do with Alaska?” He held the door.

This scene is in her POV and the next line has her walking through the door. So I also can lose the boring physicality. Small nit-picky stuff? Maybe, but this stuff wears on a reader.

Before:

After they’d enjoyed several more songs, Mac tapped his watch reminding her that they’d better get moving if they wanted to catch the show.

After:

There wasn’t one. I cut the whole thing. God, I knew this exercise was going to be embarrassing. Let’s see, what’s wrong with that? Anyone want to tell us in the comments?

I learned something from this exercise. That breaking a huge manuscript into scenes, and using laser focus and a brutal red pen makes a big difference.

What do you think? Have I convinced you how important the seemingly tiny details are?

Laura's August 26th release is a Romantic Times TOP PICK! Click on the photo to purchase. Here's the review:

RT August 2014  -  4 ½ Stars TOP PICK!

Drake does it again, with a terrific contemporary western. She takes this time-honored format and injects such fully formed characters and realistic scenarios that you might think it is nonfiction dealing with everything from PTSD to the aging athlete, all while giving us a wonderful romance. Just top notch. While this is part of a series, the Sweet on a Cowboy books are completely independent of each other.

SUMMARY: Army medic Katya Smith is unable to get past the experience of losing a fellow soldier. She can’t go back to her unit until she can keep from melting down, so she takes a job as a medic for the pro bull riding circuit in an effort to recover her mojo. She doesn’t expect to become attached to the sport or the riders, especially the king rider of them all, Cam Cahill. Cam is a two-time world champion, but those years have taken a toll. It is time to retire, but he can’t imagine himself off the circuit. Katya does wonderful things for his body, but he is not certain he is ready for the things she does for his heart. She has made it plain this is a temp job, but if he could get her to stay, he can see a whole new future.

I've judged a few contests for published and unpublished authors over the years. Because I entered several contests this year, I paid a lot more attention to the judging process. Reviewing my own scoresheets made me a better judge. At least, I hope so.

Things you may not know:

1. Your judge may have entered the same contest. Don't worry, you're not in competition. A judge cannot score entries in the same category she's entered. However, this means your judge may not be as familiar with the genre of your entry. I agreed to score entries only from genres that I have read a lot of books, but I could have judged "short contemporary" or "romantic suspense"--categories that I don't read. That means I enjoy the genre I'm judging and have a sense of the way those books are generally constructed. For instance, I read historicals, so I get the vocabulary, the dialogue and the importance of setting.

My experience as a contestant: Once I received a comment from a judge "just to let me know" that she didn't like science fiction. What? Why would she judge for a science fiction contest? Last month I posted Writing Contests: Hell or Heaven? I believe the judge who scored my entry so low is not a science fiction reader. Why? She commented that she googled a building material used in my spaceport and couldn't find it anywhere on the internet. She told me I needed to research proper building materials. Uhm, they are not made yet. We're talking two hundred years in the future. Guess what? That entry made the finals in the other two contests I entered. Yep, one of them is The Sheila.

2. Your judge may have agreed to score three entries and ended up with five or more. Yes, this happened to me this year. I contacted the contest coordinator, because two extra entries at thirty-five pages each wouldn't fit into my schedule. Well, they were short on judges. Luckily I had two months to return the scoresheets, so I was able to work all the entries into my schedule and I didn't feel pressured. But what if your judge doesn't have the luxury of time and is rushed, and therefore grumpy, about having to complete more than he signed up for?

My experience as a judge: I made sure I had a block of time for a single entry, and I only read and scored one entry per day. Not only did I make a lot of comments on the scoresheet, but the contests I judged for encouraged feedback directly on the manuscript. This can take as much–or little–time as you have to give it. Sometimes a lack of feedback may just be an over-committed judge.

My experience as a contestant: I'll take that perfect score with no comments any day!

3. Your judge isn't necessarily trained to give you feedback on your entry. As a judge, the directions I received ranged from a paragraph about how to fill out the form, the deadline and address for returning my scoresheets and who to contact if I had trouble to a three-page set of instructions on how to score each category, cautions on offering nurturing comments and not a scathing review and not line-editing the entry. A judge may write brilliant prose but not-so-compassionate writing advice.

My experience as a judge: I tried to gear my comments to my perception of the writing. This year, for one novice writer I suggested a couple of books on writing with the encouragement that by studying her craft and writing, she would be able to transform her story into something an editor couldn't put down. For those entries that made me wish for more pages to read, I offered editing suggestions to tighten the action and enhance the pace and  wished them luck selling their book, because from the synopsis and what I'd read it's just a matter of getting it into the right person's hands.

My experience as a contestant: If you read Writing Contests: Hell or Heaven? you know that you have to sift through all the comments and suggestions and take what resonates and forget the others. One of my judges liked my entry, but tried to rewrite parts of it to fit her idea of my story. She was trying to be helpful. Letting go of something that might be on that scoresheet isn't easy. But your judge is a human, and humans, by nature, are imperfect.

4. Your score might be affected by the other entries a judge is reading. Years ago I trained teachers around the country how to score to a rubric, a set of scoring criteria with strict guidelines. This prevents personal biases, usually related to grammar or certain types of construction, from overly influencing a score. When you read over a hundred essays in a day and you're scoring to a rubric, even if you've just read ten very poorly written pieces, you can't score the eleventh from that perspective. Similarly, none of the contests I judged had a first-second-third ranking system for scoring entries, though some judges, from comments I received, might use this method. If your judge had to read too many entries in a short timeframe, this can happen, and your entry gets muddled with others.

My experience as a contestant: One time my scoresheet justified a deduction of points for a scene that was not part of my entry. I guess you could say I took one for another contestant. Another time, the only two points I "lost" from one judge was explained, "You had one misplaced comma. I wish people would learn the comma rules." She took off two points out of 5 possible for grammar, editing, and typos because of the Oxford comma rule. Thank goodness I didn't go the modern route twice! (Not complaining, she loved everything else!)

Why did I agree to be a contest judge? Because I believe that the feedback from contests, for both novice writers and those on the cusp of selling a book, can help a writer hone her craft and make it possible to get the call.

What gives me the right to score another's submission? A lifetime of voracious reading. More than a decade of professional training, writing experience, craft classes, critique groups, and many of my own contest entries. As a teacher, I know that hammering about mistakes can kill a student's spirit. In last month's blog, I shared with you what one scoresheet did to me-and I'm not a novice. I hope I have learned to give feedback commensurate with the level of the writing. When I critique for my friends here at Writers in the Storm, I note things that made me smile. I think that's important to do for a contestant, too. I want my comments on scoresheets to encourage the contestants to improve their craft. Who knows, maybe someday a best-selling author will give a keynote address and say that she entered a contest once and got feedback that kept her writing. And that feedback was mine.

Have you judged a writing contest and have additional secrets to share? If you could share one thing with your contest judge before your entry is read, what would you say?

 Fae Rowen discovered the romance genre after years as a science fiction freak.   Writing futuristics and medieval paranormals, she jokes that she can live anywhere but the present.  As a mathematician, she knows life’s a lot more fun when you get to define your world and its rules then watch what happens.

Punished, oh-no, that’s published as a co-author of a math textbook, she yearns to hear personal stories about finding love from those who read her books, rather than horrors of arithmetic lessons gone wrong.  She is grateful for good friends who remind her to do the practical things in life like grocery shop, show up at the airport for a flight and pay bills.

A “hard” scientist who avoided writing classes like the plague, she now enjoys sharing her brain with characters who demand that their stories be told.