Writers in the Storm

Welcome to the last Friday of the month with contributing word wizardess Tiffany Lawson Inman. We look forward to Tiffany's magic to transform mundane writing to the realms of marvelous. And she's donating a three-page edit to a very lucky reader. Respond to her challenge to be entered in the drawing.

by Tiffany Lawson Inman

A. “What is worse than a cliché?” Tiffany asked, with a look of horror.

B. “What is worse than a cliché?” Tiffany’s voice cracked.  Her mouth quivered, pinched, and her eyes flashed wide as if I had tried to force feed her eyeball soup from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

• Which one has more power?
• Which one gave you a better picture of the horror filled facial expression?
• Which one showed voice?
• Which one will you remember when you put down the book?

The correct and totally-obvious-answer is, B.

“With a” phrases are equal to, or, yes – worse than a cliché. Think of all the vocal cues, body language, voice, unique style, and action you are holding back from your readers.

EEK!

Within all of the pre-pubbed manuscripts I have edited or critiqued, the ratio of “with a” phrases to manuscript pages was approximately 600 “with a” phrases to 275 manuscript pages.

Gulp.

Note: a few of the phrases included are like, “She hit the snake with a hammer.”  Hmmm…maybe 15 percent of them are friendly uses of the word combo,”with a.”  That leaves 515 unfriendly uses of “with a.”

515 opportunities to make yourselves better writers.

From the handful of pubbed books I looked at, the ratio was more like, 100 with a’s to 350 pages. Much better, right? In fact, these examples were all yanked from pubbed books. (She walked away with a down-turned lip) But that does not give you all the green flag to write a million and two of these into your manuscript!  (With a gleam in her eyes, she stared me down.)

• …with a glance over my shoulder.
• …with a quirky smile.
• …with a hint of distain.
• …with a sad story in her eyes.
• …with a roar.
• …with a howl.
• …with a dull ache.
• …with a confused expression.
• …with a gap-toothed grin.
• …with a soft laugh.
• …with a sigh.
• …with an odd expression.
• …with a smirk.
• …with a frown.
• …with a curtsy.
• …with a thud.
• …with a crunch.
• …with a boom.
• …with a flare.
• …with a critical eye.
• …with a wave.
• …with a growl.
• …with a smack.
• …with a flick of her wrist.
• …with a cough.
• …with a sense of purpose.
• …with a confidence.
• …with a sickening crunch.

Do they look familiar?  How many do you have?  Use the FIND search in Word and see for yourselves.  Type in: with a

            It’s easy, I promise it won’t hurt. (I called to the writers with a hint of sugar in my tone.)

            Do you need to sit down? Breathe!

Now highlight them.

My challenge for you.  Go in and rewrite.  Get yourself down to between 50 and 100 “with a” phrases in your entire manuscript. Both friendly and unfriendly included in your final count.

Use them sparingly, if at all. And the ones you choose to keep, push yourselves to write them fresh. Kick the basic, plain, unadorned, below average, routine “with a” phrases to the curb.

Another challenge for you: In the comment section below, post a 20-40 word section of your manuscript that includes a “with a” phrase and below it, a fantabulous rewrite.  The rewrite can be more than 40 words.

The author with the best rebirth of a “with a” phrase will get a 3 page edit from me! 

(I flourished the last line of the blog with a virtual-high-kick.) 

Thank you very much for joining me for the last Friday of the month here on WITS! I’ll be checking back throughout the weekend to answer any questions and back on Sunday night to announce the WINNER!

Workshops taught by Tiffany Lawson Inman:

• ·  From MADNESS to Method: Writing Oscar Worthy Characters!  
• 77 Secrets To Writing YA Fiction That Sells!
• ·  Triple Threat Behind Staging A Scene
• Fighting in Fiction
• Directing Dialogue

**These courses will be taught at least twice a year. You won’t miss out!**

Follow me on twitter @NakedEditor to see what’s happening and when. New workshops taught every month at Lawson Writer’s Academy !

Want to learn from me in person?  I will be presenting a workshop at Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers Colorado Gold Conference this year. Registration is open!

You can find Tiffany at her website , info-packed-blogs starting back up in late summer 2012.

Tiffany Lawson Inman (NakedEditor) claimed a higher education at Columbia College Chicago. Here, she learned to use body and mind together for action scenes, character emotion, and dramatic story development. She teaches for Lawson Writer’s Academy and presents hands-on-action workshops. As a freelance editor, she provides story analysis and editing services.

By Laura Drake

This is so not something I would ever do.

• I’m a pantster, and a linear writer to boot.
• I’m organized – anally so.
• I want to steep in my book, live it, snuggle up and get close to it.
• I can’t even talk and carry coffee at the same time.

Why would I even attempt it? What made me think I could do this?

Deadlines, that’s what.

I did it to myself. My editor knew I was already writing for another house, so she let me set the deadline for the Biker-chick book. But she dangled a carrot. If I submitted it in “a few months,” she’d give me a 2013 pub slot. Three books out in one year? Oh, the buzz I could get from that! As a debut author, I’m doing everything I can to garner buzz.

So I kind of eased into it. Here’s how:

1. I’d write a full chapter, then switch books. That helped satisfy my need to ‘be with the book.
2. I submitted that chapter to my wonderful crit partners, and moved on to the next. As feedback came in, much as it killed me, I didn’t look at it. I just set it aside with the first book.
3. When I’d submitted the chapter on the second book, I went back and read the crits on the first, and did the edits. That seemed to warm me up for the story, and get me ready to write the next chapter.
4. Repeat.

What I discovered:

ADVANTAGES:

• I may not be able to talk on the phone and drive at the same time, but I can do this.
• Each time I switch books, I fall in love with the book again
• I’m writing more. I have to!
• When I’m stuck in one book, by putting it down and picking it up a week later, my brain has usually solved the problem
• It takes advantage of my discipline and good organization skills
• It’s satisfying to try something new, and I’m encouraged by my progress

DISADVANTAGES:

• Whichever book I’m working on, the other is my favorite. I realized this is part of the “Rather have written than to write” syndrome. Gives me something to look forward to, though – like dating two very different men at the same time.
• I think my crit group is getting whiplash; cowboys one week, biker chick the next.
• I’m missing the snuggle-time with only one book. That may just be me.
• I do worry about continuity – it’s harder to see the plot and overarching themes when you’re writing in fits and starts. If you’re a plotter, I don’t think you’ll have this problem

Is my writing better or worse for this? It’s too early to tell – and I’m not sure I’ll be the one to judge that in the end.

But I DO recommend you give it a try!

So how about you? Have you ever tried writing two works at the same time? How did it turn out? Did juggling chainsaws lead to a trip to the ER?

Have I enticed you to attempt it?

by Fae Rowen

I am a plot-driven writer. The plot arrives first in my head, then I look for  people who will survive and grow in that world.

My #1 concern? My characters MUST connect with my readers. To have the "best book ever" experience, your reader must believe in, root for, identify with, and, maybe even, cry or fall in love with your protagonist.

It's not easy to meet people like this in real life, so why would we think it should be easy as a writer?

When I began taking writing classes, I was given lists and forms to fill out about my characters. Hair and eye color, education, ethnicity, birthplace, hobbies--you've seen those lists. They work for some people, but they didn't work for me. My characters seemed flat, even though I "interviewed" them to find out their likes and dislikes.

I moved on to Debra Dixon's Goal, Motivation, Conflict. That really helped flesh out my characters.

• Why did they get angry?
• Why did a certain song make them sad?
• What "floated their boat" and why?

Not all that backstory should be revealed, but a single line to motivate inner conflict goes a long way in exposing your character's underbelly. And that's what our readers need to feel the humanity in our heroes and heroines.

But what do you do when your critique partner says a character is flat? Or a contest sheet comes back with, "I didn't connect with your heroine." Junk the story and start over? No!

The characters you remember from your favorite books are complex. You know their wants, needs and desires. You know their fears, trials, and failures. You feel their joy and success.

What if you're in the middle of a WIP and your character needs another layer or two? Chances are those layers are not going to materialize out of thin air.

When I purchased my Archetype Cards by Carolyn Myss, I never intended to use them for writing. But three years ago I took them to the Washington D.C. conference and with Laura, Jenny and Sharla, we realized they could be an excellent tool to assist with characterization.

Archetypes were first discussed in the time of Plato in Ancient Greece. Carl Jung firmed up and popularized the concept in the twentieth century.

Archetypes are part of everyone's psyche. They may sit passively and come forward to make you aware of danger or dangerous behaviors or they may drive your life.

All archetypes have positive and negative attributes. When you recognize the patterns of an archetype, instead of ignoring the archetype, you can make it your friend and ally. According to Carolyn Myss, as humans, we share four common archetypes and should be able to identify eight more that make us who we are.

 

For instance, it will come as no surprise to those who know me that one of my archetypes is the Queen.

In the best cases, I assert my power, take charge of situations, delegate authority and act with regal benevolence. Nice, right? But wait. The "shadow" or negative Queen attributes include barking out orders, making impossible demands and lopping off heads. Ouch! I've done that, too.

Oh, I hear the writer in you waking up. You're seeing the possibilities of starting with the shadow characteristics for a character and, through a variety of plot storms, showing the character arc to the positive attributes. For those of us who sometimes get stuck, this little tool can give us the traits we love to hate and show us how those patterns transmute into positive qualities.

Seventy-eight different archetype cards await you. They range from Actor to Wizard. There are also detailed explanations of the four archetypes we all share. Here's a summary of our common archetypes:

1. The Child, including Wounded Child, Abandoned/Orphan Child, Magical/Innocent Child, Nature Child, Eternal Child, and the Dependent Child. You probably know which one you are--and which one you wish you were.

2. The Victim. No, not me! But when in your life have you not felt powerless, blamed someone else for what happened, or been just a little green with envy? When your protagonist feels powerless, how uplifting is it to see her take effective action? A character learning to take responsibility for his own actions makes us root louder for him to succeed.

3. The Saboteur. This is a tough one in real life, because it deals with self-betrayal and fear. Just the stuff good characters are made of. (Read Laura's blog on your character's fear.) Does your heroine allow others to speak for her? By the end of the book, when she finds her voice, your reader will stand up and cheer at her words.

4. The Prostitute. Nope, I'm not talking about the heart-of-gold saloon girl. Have you ever "sold out" to someone or an organization you didn't believe in? Has your hero stayed in a position he disliked for financial reasons? What if your heroine felt herself pulled by circumstances into a situation where she'll have to ignore her integrity and ethics, but is strong enough to say no and suffer the consequences? We're going to root for her all the way through the book!

Here's an example of the information on one card:

Engineer.
Architect, Builder, Designer, Schemer

Light attributes:

• Grounded, orderly, strategic qualities give creative energy a practical expression
• Talent for engineering everyday situation or designing solutions to common dilemmas
• Look for a pattern of designing and building--structure, devices or solutions

Shadow attributes:

• Master manipulator
• Designs situations to one's own advantage, regardless of the needs of others

Could Jane Austen have used this card when she began to fashion Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice? Or when she fashioned a character she said no one would love--Emma Woodhouse in Emma?

Do you have to buy the Archetype Cards? No!

You can think of three characteristics that make you love your protagonist. Then think of the antithesis of each. Take your character through your story from those negative characteristics to the positive aspects.

You'll have a satisfying character arc, which means you've delivered a satisfying story to your reader. And isn't that what you set out to do every time you sit down to write?

Do you have other unexpected ways to add depth to your characters and help you with their character arcs? We'd love to hear about them!