Writers in the Storm

By Sharla Rae

I preach Like With Like to my critique partners all the time and once in a while, they remind me to practice what I preach. So what do I mean by like with like? It’s not as easy to explain on paper as it is to point out the mistake in a WIP but here goes.

Like with like has to do with story flow.

I’m certain we’ve all read drafts and realized a certain tidbit of information was in the wrong place. It interrupts the flow of the scene and the action. Think of this interruption as a speed bump in the middle of a race track. If a race car were to hit one it would spin out of the action.

These speed bumps are not to be confused with a data dump, sections of lengthy description, background or character internalization that detour a reader off the path before returning them to the action.

Speed bumps are misplaced bits of information that amount to a word or a couple of sentences that need to be cut and pasted elsewhere. They’re more jarring than data dumps because they pop up out of nowhere. Readers may even reread a section or two because they feel they might’ve missed something.

So what causes speed bumps?

Here’s the kicker. To avoid data dumps, writers are told to dribble information throughout the story. However, dribbling it into the wrong spot creates a speed bump.

Let’s say a scene opens like this – excuse the paraphrasing:

Tom the race driver settles into his car. As a reader we’re riding shot gun, hearing Tom’s thoughts, seeing the inside of his car and watching him perform all his checks before the race. Then he takes his place on the track. The flag is waved and we’re off!

          Tom is dodging spinouts, speeding faster and faster and trying to get around Don Dingbat in car number 4. Tom thinks: Dang, that Don. The man will do anything to win, even if it gets another driver killed. Last month, he caused a three car pileup that put two drivers in the hospital.

          Caboom!

No, the car didn’t crash. Tom is still flying around the track. The reader, however, was thrown through the windshield.

Okay, this is a silly example, but you get the picture. Readers would have remained in the car for the thrill of the ride, but segueing into Don’s character background tossed them out of the action or in this case the race.

If Tom had seen Don pass by before the race or during his systems check, the info wouldn’t have been so jarring. Don Dingbat needs to make an appearance at the beginning of the scene along with the rest of the set-up information. Like With Like. Another solution might be to paste the rivalry between the two men at the end of the race where perhaps they air their differences.

Let’s try this again:

Tom settles into his car and is checking out the dashboard like the cockpit of a Leer jet. Through his windshield he spies Don Dingbat getting into his car. Tom Thinks: The man’s a wild card, a danger to every man on the track. He’d do anything to win a race and usually got away with it too. Last month, he’d caused a three car pileup that put two drivers in the hospital. Tom scowls and yanks his safety belt across his body. This is one race Don Dingbat will not win.

          The flag is waved and we’re off!

          Tom dodges spinouts, speeding faster and faster as he tries to pass Don in car number 4. Don swerves back and forth across the track trying to hold his place. Tom races around hairpin curves, steadily moving ahead of the other drivers. It’s an exciting ride and in the end Tom flies over the finish line ahead of Don, and the reader is still sitting right beside him.

In the second example we pasted the speed bump into the set up scene. Doing so actually enhances the action because now the reader is invested in the race. He/she wants to see Tom win and Don lose. The actual action/race was not interrupted. Details about both men can be dribbled in as the story proceeds. No data dump and no speed bumps.

Not every scene is an intense action scene like a car race, a police chase or even an Indian uprising. But in every scene something is happening. Conversation/dialogue and internalization may not be as exciting, but they are a form or action and speed bumps are just as jarring in these types of scenes. Be on the lookout.

Split descriptions are one of the most common and overlooked of speed bumps. For instance, a character walks on stage and the writer describes him through another character’s POV. A few paragraphs later, another description is stuck in that really could’ve been linked to the original. Sometimes a scenic description or the detailing of a room or building layout surprises readers because down the page an unexpected extra detail pops up out of nowhere.

On top of their jarring nature, split descriptions often steal the power of the words. Read the following example.

The air shifted and teacher, Peter Hunk, glanced toward the door. A woman stood there, scanning his classroom. She was so beautiful she seemed a figment of his imagination. A gossamer dress better suited for a wedding than a classroom draped her petite form and short jet hair cupped the perfect oval of her face. Then her head jerked in his direction, her unusual eyes flashing with anger . . .

            Blah blah blah . . . the woman gives Peter a piece of her mind, and he doesn’t understand what she’s talking about. Down the page we go. And Peter Hunk thinks it’s a shame she sounds so nuts because under different circumstances, he’d definitely ask her out. He hadn’t even heard her first words because he’d become lost in her eyes, eyes so striking they were almost spooky. It was like looking upon lovely blue lace curtains, then green and no, brown. But how could that be . . .

On the first read, this type of speed bump isn’t always as noticeable as the one in the race car example, but a smart reader, will stop and say, “Huh? When did that happen?”

Remember, the revelation about the woman’s eyes is half a page or more from the paragraph where she walked on stage. If the woman’s eyes had been normal, when she walked into the room, Peter wouldn’t have noticed them except for maybe their color and their angry expression. That wasn’t the case. Peter did notice they were unusual. So we must keep like with like.

The air shifted and teacher, Peter Hunk, glanced toward the door. A woman stood there, scanning his classroom. She was so beautiful she seemed a figment of his imagination. A gossamer dress better suited for a wedding than a classroom draped her petite form, and short jet hair cupped the perfect oval of her face. Her head jerked in his direction and he started. Anger flashed in her eyes, eyes so striking they were almost spooky. It was like looking through lovely blue lace curtains, then green … no, brown. But how could that be? Who was she?  . . .  

            He started, realizing the woman was yelling gibberish at him . . . And now Peter Hunk listens to the gibberish and we get his reaction and so forth without interruption.

Moving the eye description delivers a more powerful description in that it screams to the reader, “Whoa, there’s something woo-woo about this woman."

The good thing about speed bumps is that they’re an easy fix. While not all of them will fit into a set-up scene, most can be eliminated with a simple cut and paste to another location.

I hope my examples, silly as they are, illustrate how keeping like with like improves the flow of a scene. If you have more examples or questions, please share them with us in a comment below.

On my drive home from the day job yesterday, I tuned in for the traffic report (because I needed to know why I was going 15 in a 65 MPH zone) and the business report caught my attention.  They were discussing the four character requirements of teamwork: openness, generosity, flexibility and patience.

Of course I thought of how this applies to writing.

Many writers feel that they are flying solo when nothing could be further than the truth.  The process of getting a book published requires a massive amount of teamwork and every single one of the above qualities.

Your Personal Team

During the early stages it helps to have other creative people on your team – to plot with, critique with, and (most soothing) to commiserate with. If you have a family, do not discount their importance as they help feed and house you and put up with your constant mumbling and forgetfulness while you are consumed with your work in progress.

My husband usually knows how things are going by where my keys are. If I’m on top of things, they will be on the kitchen counter in their cute tray. On the bad days of tortured plots and tangled chapters, they have been found in the refrigerator, the pantry and the linen closet.

Openness:  Julia Cameron describes this better than I can, but the gist is that she recommends that “you show up to the page and allow the work to move through you.”  Unless you lay your heart and mind wide open to the possibilities in your universe, your muse will not come visit and your writing will fall flat. Jennifer Crusie calls this process: “listening to the girls in the basement.” You must open that door if you want to hear what’s being shouted up the stairs.

Generosity: Writing is a fearsome thing. When those girls shout up from the depths of your psyche, they often tell you ugly, sharp, embarrassing things. If you are not generous with your good opinion of yourself, these messages can chip away at your spirit. Yes, we want to be generous with others, but I think it’s most important to be generous to yourself first.

Flexibility: If you are a plotter, this one is often the roughest part of the writing road for you. Those hussies in the basement will inevitably try to drive your story to a place that isn’t in the outline. Just go with it – that is what the delete key is for. The small increments of time where they elbow their way into the driver’s seat of your novel will always pay off. I promise you they will.

Patience: This is the hardest thing for me, both in writing and in life. My inner Diego – that’s my name for that arrogant, nitpicky internal critic who tells me this writing thing will NEVER work – says the darnedest stuff. “Is it done yet? This is crap. Can’t you write better than that? This is boring…” That Diego is a terrible team player, don’t you think?

Be patient. Novels take time, no matter what that Diego dude says. What does he know anyway?

Your Publishing Team

Once you are submitting, your personal team offers priceless support in helping you cope with the multitudes of rejections that 99% of writers get. (If you want to feel better about your rejections, read this blog by James Hughes.)

You are now trying with all your might to build your publishing team with an agent or an editor.  I highly recommend Laura Drake’s blog series on The Great Agent Search as you hunt for your perfect representative. To do your part as an author, all four teamwork cylinders MUST be firing when you interact with these potential pub team members.

Openness:  You must be honest with your publishing professionals about where you want to take your writing career. If you want to do book tours, ask them how to make that happen. If you have small children and don’t want to travel, tell them that too. If you don’t feel you can write more than two books a year, SAY IT – it’s not like they won’t find out. They can’t help you achieve your dreams if you don’t share what they are. I’m not telling you to demand, but asking is always appreciated. The worst they can do is say no (which in my mind just means “Yes Later”).

Generosity:  Editors and agents do not lay in wait ready to pounce and shoot unsuspecting writers down. Quite the opposite. They read thousands of pages every week, hoping and praying to see a submission that follows their guidelines, is well constructed and chock full of great writing.

These same individuals are ready to cry happy tears when they see all of the above plus a marketing plan, a book blurb and an author with a platform already built that they can leverage. If you are scratching your head, thinking “Excuse me, platform what?” you need a heavy injection of Kristen Lamb and Bob Mayer. Visit Kristen’s blog at http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/ and read Bob’s book by the same name, Warrior Writer.  Do it now – you’ll be glad you did.

Lastly, I recommend that you thank your editors and agents often, remember their birthdays and send them chocolate. They are working to get your book(s) out to the public and you should express some gratitude for this. (Note: I didn’t say fawn over them. That would be creepy. Just send chocolate, or whatever else it is that they adore, and give them your sincerest thanks.)

Flexibility:  Understand that you might need to do some things you didn’t plan on when you sat down to write your book. It could be that if you want publicity that you will have to do it yourself for the first few books. If it doesn’t terrify you down to the bone, you might consider approaching writing chapters, libraries and bookstores about speaking for them or having a book signing. If crowds freak you out, perhaps consider doing radio. Barbara DeMarco-Barrett does a weekly show called Writers On Writing, plus there is NPR and (if you’re a really lucky romance author) Sue Grimshaw’s TrueRomance series. Note: With Borders reorganizing right now, you might want to research the last one a bit.

Patience:  After all your hard work writing the book, it is difficult to wait for it to “take off.” I know it is challenging to face, but the first one might not be your breakout book. In fact, it is quite rare for a debut novel to be the one to hit the NYT Bestseller List.

Bob Mayer talks about his friend Susan Wiggs who took 20+ years to hit the bestseller list. Robyn Carr, who writes lovely women’s fiction for MIRA Books, became an “overnight success” THIRTY years after she began publishing. Your job is to keep writing books that you’re proud of and to build a team that you trust to help promote them. The rest will take care of itself.

Your Public Team

When the momentous day comes that you get THE CALL, you add a whole new dimension to your team – The Reader. Every published author will tell you that readers are the most important team members of all. Though we write for ourselves first, we are really writing for our readers, whether they are real (critique partners, family, your new glorious agent) or imagined. A great reader is a golden gift and a blessing to be treasured. If you want to keep your readership and grow it, your “Fab Four” teamwork qualities are vital:

Openness:  Your readers want to know about you.  Every book you write shouts, “This is who I am” so it is a safe bet that your readers will feel that you are already their friend when they meet you. It’s just the way it is.

If it makes you uncomfortable to be praised and loved on in person, make sure that you have an interactive website or that you keep an active blog. Get on Twitter or Facebook. Post often.  If you need help getting started with Twitter, click here for Twitter help.

Generosity:  Donate books to contests and worthy causes. Authors receive a certain number of free copies when they publish (how many depends on your contract) and it will only help you to give some of these away – send one to our soldiers overseas, offer one as a door prize for your next monthly writers meeting, donate one for a contest prize on your website or blog. The goodwill generated from this is amazing.

Try to answer your fan mail and blog comments – it goes back to openness and helps your readers feel more connected to you.

Flexibility:  It could be that you will be called on to do new or unusual things to promote your book or interact with your readers.  You might have to emcee an auction, take a bus tour, sit next to an author FAR more popular than you and watch her sell books (while you don’t).

You might not be able to envision all of the things you’ll do in the name of promotion right now. That’s okay. If it doesn’t hurt you, try to roll with it. If you need ideas, ask other authors or your agent what they recommend to help you connect to your readers. If you don’t know who to ask, here is a blog by Alain Miles with seven suggestions for engaging your readers.

Patience:  I will never forget hearing one of my favorite authors, Rebecca Forster, speak about her first book signing. She said, “I sat there in that bookstore at a tiny table with a big stack of books, a pen and dish of candy. The candy was the only thing that moved all day.”

It is a sad fact that in the early part of your career, your book signings might not have all the hoopla of Janet Evanovich or Nora Roberts. If you are showing steady sales and making friends with the bookstore owners, you are still doing your job at these events.

Note:  Always sign all of the books a bookstore will put in front of you. And bring your own “Autographed by Author” stickers in case they don’t have them. Not only does that sticker really help move books, when combined with your signature on the title page, it keeps the bookstore from stripping and returning them to the publisher.

So, there you have it…my take on building your writing team.  Who’s on your writing team and what qualities do you recommend writers bring to the equation?

~ Jenny
@JennyHansenCA

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About Jenny Hansen

By day, Jenny provides training and social media marketing for an accounting firm. By night she writes news articles, humor, memoir, women’s fiction and short stories. After 18+ years as a corporate software trainer, she’s delighted to sit down while she works.

When she’s not at her personal blog, More Cowbell, Jenny can be found on Twitter at JennyHansenCA or at Writers In The Storm.

Hands photo credit: we are the world via photopin (license)

 

by Laura Drake
(Part 3 in a series – click here for Part 1 and Part 2)

Organizing This Mess

I’ve found two methods for keeping track of submissions.  Which you choose depends on how your brain works. Some writers are “pansters,” some are “plotters.” Some people are night owls, some are morning people – it’s like that. You’ll know which method is right for you the minute you read the description, I promise.

Does the thought of using Excel make your eyes glaze over? Is your favorite method of organization a shoebox, or a closet with a door you have to lean on to close?  No worries.  There’s a tool for you that’s so easy and non-threatening that, although I mentioned it in Part 2 of this series, I’m going to include it here.

Any right brainers that know another good tracking method, please post in the comments – we’d love to know!

METHOD 1:

Writers Market.com – It has a huge, up-to-date database on agents.  It costs $40/yr, but it’s worth every penny.  I used it for my first submission experience, and it was wonderful.  It’s everything you need in one place, plus things others don’t have.  You search by genre, and you can narrow your search.

• % of clients that publish in fiction
• # of clients – of those how many were new authors
• If member of AAR
• Submission guidelines
• How long it takes for response.
• Agent/agency websites
• When they were established

One of the best things about it is that it has a “Query Tracker.”  You select the agent you’re submitting to, note the date, and when you should hear back.  After that date, you’ll get a reminder, so you can follow up.

Simple, organized, unintimidating.

METHOD 2:

For those of you who have your home library sorted by Author and Title, and could lay your hands on anything you own in the dark, read on.

My daytime title is corporate CFO.  Sounds impressive, but it’s just a fancy name for “numbers geek.”  As you can guess, I love Excel.  It’s in my genes, I can’t help it.

So I created an Excel spreadsheet to track my submissions.

Excel For Authors –

Two key tools in one spreadsheet:  WHO you want to submit to and TRACKING submissions.

When I research an agent, I give them a tier and a rank to help determine who I will submit to in what order.

• Tier A – Dream Agents
• Tier B – Solid agents
• Tier C – Maybe new agents (a good place for unpubbed authors to try, by the way), or not a perfect fit, but worth a try.

Then I pull all pertinent information from their website into the Excel spreadsheet:

• Contact
• Agency name, address, phone number, email
• Submission requirements
• Pertinent info: “so & so’s agent,” or “Met at a conference”

 

I’ll share a copy of my sheet as an example – but please do not assume the information is correct – I’ve “dummied” a lot of it to protect the innocent!

Sheets in my file:

• Agent List: Alpha list of agents contained in the file.  That way, if I hear of an agent, I have a quick reference to see if I’ve already considered them.
•  “Do Not Submit” page.  I may include them here even if they’re good if they don’t rep what I write. I include the reason they’re on this sheet, so I remember later why I did not choose to query that agent.
• A sheet each for A, B & C Tier agents
• Ed/Pub List: Editors/Publishers I want to submit to
• Submissions: this is always my first sheet.  A colored stripe bisects the page.
  • TOP – Agents I have submitted to, but haven’t heard from yet – or those with partials or full MS out for consideration.
  • BOTTOM – Rejections

 

When you’ve exhausted all submitting avenues, heard back from every possible agent, and are still not successful in snagging representation for your book, DO NOT delete this file!  It has valuable information for submitting your next novel (and there WILL be a next novel, right?).  On the next round you will need to know:

• Which agents requested partials/fulls. Put them at the top of your Tier A for next time - these are people who liked your writing style.
• Other agents may move to your Do Not Submit page, if you change genres, etc.

You’ll still need to do your research! Do not assume that nothing has changed since your last submission: look up submission guidelines, email addresses, etc.  Agents come and go, and change agencies frequently. Also, new agents may have gotten in the business since your last submittal, and you won’t want to miss them.

Wrap up:

Remember that agents typically only request from 10% of the queries they receive. You are working to be in that 10%! I hope you’ve found this series of blogs helpful – please post any info/suggestions I haven’t covered “comments section.”

In the spirit of free information on the internet, I’d be happy to forward you my Excel Spreadsheet template to help you get organized.  Simply send me an email at:

writersinthestorm@gmail.com

I wish you all a happy and successful hunt – go bag your trophy agent!