by Lisa Hall-Wilson

How do you show a non-POV character’s priorities, motives, thoughts, etc? Deep POV (and even limited 3^rd person POV) only allows the reader to know what the POV character knows. This can make showing what other characters are feeling, or giving information that only the non-POV character knows, is really tricky sometimes. Limited third- person will allow for the author voice to fill in the gaps, but deep POV wants to remove the author voice entirely, adding extra layers of complexity.

The answer is to go deeper – yes, that nebulous, endlessly-frustrating advice that’s only helpful if you know what that means. So let’s see what ‘going deeper’ really looks like.

This is part of one of the 20+ lessons from my four-week deep POV masterclass that’s running in three weeks.

The Role of Non-POV Characters

A non-POV character who is familiar with or knows the point of view character can share information, make an observation about the POV character’s behaviour or attitude, etc. They can mirror or reflect back, respond or challenge the POV character’s attitudes, actions, or decisions and this can show readers if the POV character is behaving as expected, is being rude, over-reacting, suppressing emotions, etc.

Don’t miss how important this role can be to your story.

This can help readers know if the point of view character is being rational or acting out of the ordinary for that story world. The opposite is also true if the non-POV character is trying to alienate, bully, or gaslight the POV character.

They can create scenarios and situations for your POV character to react to. They can discuss things the point of view character doesn’t know or wouldn’t think of on their own. The non-POV character plays a vital role, so don’t underestimate the value they provide.

The catch is that these styles of point of view (limited/deep third and deep POV – not the same thing) don’t want the reader to access the non-POV character’s thoughts, internal sensations or inward feelings. This all has to be shown with spoken dialogue, body language (gestures, posture, expressions, tone of voice, movement) and subtext. The great pitfall is falling into the trap of telling, over-using the author voice, or breaking point of view.

Examples of Using Subtext to Show Non-POV Character Thoughts

Let’s look at some common scenarios and workarounds to avoid using the author voice or breaking POV.

Shane knew Sara was lying.

Shane is the POV character in this line. How can Shane know Sara is lying? As it’s written, this is a POV break. What we need to do instead is use subtext to provide evidence to the reader for why Shane thinks this of Sara. Is this an assumption or interpretation based on a gesture or body language to mean something? Is this a result of past experience with Sara? Does Shane know Sara well enough to know when she’s lying – we need to show what’s tipping him off in that instance.

This is ‘going deeper.’ Next time you get that feedback, think about how to break down the information the POV character uses to reach that conclusion. Give that raw information to the reader instead of the conclusion.

Let’s look at a couple of different rewrites still from Shane’s perspective:

Sara crossed her fingers before hiding her hand behind her back, just like she’d done when they were kids. She was lying.

Sara couldn’t meet his gaze, kept staring at the floor and shuffling her feet. Shane’s brows knit together and his jaw clenched. She was lying to him.

Make sure the reader understands why/how your POV character came to land on that opinion, that thought, that judgement. This doesn’t have to be a long explanation nor does your character always have to get it right.

Dan focused on picking the lock, frustrated by the child screaming behind the closed door.

Dan isn’t the POV character, so then how would the POV character know Dan was fazed or unfazed? The POV character can only interpret what they see. Dan could seem unfazed, he can appear calm – but the POV character can’t know what’s going on in Dan’s head.

How to get more out of this example…

With subtext, you can leverage whatever relationship Dan and the POV character have to show readers a deeper insight, but you still have to give a reason for this leap in assumptions.

Dan glanced at me, the corner of his mouth pulled to the side. I gave him a thumbs up. He focused on the lock once more, making tiny adjustments with his lock-pick set. I clapped my hands over my ears to dull Alan’s shrill screams from the other side of the door.

Do you see how vital body language is to subtext?

Use Subtext to Show Familiarity

Early on, build in the ability for the POV character to read the body language of another character, one they’re close to. This set up doesn’t have to be long, nor do the insights gained need to be significant, but it does need to be intentional.

Consider the wife sitting down to have tea with her husband and prepares his drink just the way he likes it, different from hers, without request or instruction. Show a well-rehearsed routine that’s done without words. Show them finishing each other sentences. Micro-expressions and tiny gestures that point to a shared history or inside joke. Little things like this show readers the familiarity they share.

With this set up, it’s easier for the non-POV character to point out something’s off, to comment or react to whatever is out of the ordinary, show what’s routine, share backstory, or ask the question to prompt the POV character to share or think about information the reader needs.

Let’s look at an example:

Laurel is the POV character, but we do we learn about her from Paul here?

Laurel dropped a teabag in each mug and poured in the hot water. Paul’s signature three-knuckled rap sounded on the screen door. “Laurel? Are the kids ready?”

No more delaying. “In here.” She turned to face him, too tired to hide the droop in her shoulders or put on a fake smile.

He stared at her a moment longer than normal. “You OK?”His voice dropped two tones, and he met her gaze as though he could read her mind that way.

Warmth filled her chest. “Can we talk?” She held up the two mugs. “I’ve got tea ready.”

He pulled his hands from his pockets and wiped them down the legs of his pants. “Yeah. Of course.” He sat, leaning forward in his chair. “What’s up?”

She set the mugs in front of him. Paul removed the teabag from one mug and slid it across the table to meet her as she sat down. Laurel slid the sugar closer to him. He used to tell her how his day had gone, asked about hers.

She tapped the side of her mug with a chipped-polish fingernail to fill the silence. Just tell him. “I lost my job.”

He measured two spoonfuls of sugar into his mug and stirred it in. “Couple of weeks ago. I heard.”

“You heard?” There were just the usual lines on his face made deeper by fatigue, no judgement. “You never said anything.”

“Kids told me.” He lifted a shoulder. “Figured you’d tell me eventually.” His mouth pulled to the side like it did when he was beating himself up for something. “Or not. I lost the privilege of knowing what’s going on in your life.”

What Can We Learn From the Subtext of a Non-POV Character?

There’s a lot of communication happening in this short passage, but there’s not a lot of dialogue. I’ve had to cut this scene by almost two-thirds for brevity, so hopefully it still makes an impact, but the familiarity with each other’s routines and expressions shows a past history. The interactions, the hesitation, the measured words (hopefully) show there’s a past hurt.

This is going deeper. Two characters meeting for the first time, would approach this interaction very differently. There might be less at stake emotionally. There’s no history of past hurts, old arguments, or bruised egos to tip toe around. There’s no elephant in the room.

When we’ve been hurt, deeply hurt, we become hypersensitive to small nuances, change in voice tone, every small twitch. We’re on alert. I’ve tried to use that to show she’s extending an olive branch and his openness and willingness to listen lends her some courage.

Interested in mastering Deep Point Of View? Lisa is running two classes this summer at https://deepdiveauthorclub.vipmembervault.com/. (June 11-30, and August 18 - Sept 19).

* * * * * *

About Lisa

Lisa Hall-Wilson is a writing teacher and award-winning writer and author. She’s the author of Method Acting For Writers: Learn Deep Point Of View Using Emotional Layers. Her blog, Beyond Basics For Writers, explores all facets of the popular writing style deep point of view and offers practical tips for writers. 

Other Recent Deep POV Posts by Lisa:

• The Essential Deep POV Checklist: 11 Tips For Better Writing
• 4 Tips To Master Backstory In Deep Point Of View

Top featured photo created in Canva.