by Jenny Hansen

Several years ago, I wrote about finding your inner Creative Badass. I still fully believe in her, but…oh man, is she tired. She’d like a spa day and a nap, and maybe even a pet plushie.

For all of you who don’t want to click on that old post, here’s the “channel that inner badass” mantra we closed it with:

You want to be a writer.
It’s all you’ve EVER wanted to be.

It’s what you spend all this time on,
training and practicing your craft.

Get off your a$$ and write your page
and QUIT CRYING ABOUT IT.

I know, I know. It was a tough love mantra…which might be why—

My Creative Badass is kinda tired and cranky.

Because somewhere along the way, creativity acquired a to-do list that resembles the KPI’s (Key Performance Indicators) on a corporate performance review.

How wrong is that?

I wrote that original post during the pandemic lock-downs. I had a lot to do during that time, including tending to my then 4^th grader, but my writing life was still bubble-wrapped in joy.

And then…somewhere along the way, writing inherited quite a few additional items.

We’re supposed to:

• Write more.
• Publish more.
• Build our platforms.
• Grow our audiences.
• Learn all the cool tools.
• Understand the algorithms.
• Relearn the next iteration of software.
• Post consistently.
• Improve our craft.

And (naturally!) protect our precious creative time.

Ain’t nobody got time for all that!

And we writers wonder why we’re tired? Why sometimes our inner Creative Badasses want to crawl under the desk and refuse to come out...Why our muse deserts us, or why we get writer’s block.

I know a few writers who have thrown in the towel over the last few years, because those never-ending to-do lists just sucked the joy out of their writing life.

Creativity wasn’t always this much work

Remember way back when…when you wrote because you had a story you couldn’t stop thinking about?

When you scribbled scenes on napkins?

When you stayed up until all hours because two characters were arguing in your head and you had to find out who won?

There was joy in it. And curiosity. And PLAY. You just wanted to see what happened next. Nobody—probably not even you—was measuring your word count or asking whether the scene had sufficient narrative tension.

And then you got serious.

Which isn't necessarily bad. Learning craft is wonderful. Finishing things is wonderful. Publishing things is really wonderful.

But there’s a sneaky little danger in becoming serious about your creativity: Everything starts to count.

• Every writing session starts needing an outcome.
• Your hours must be productive.
• Each idea needs a purpose.
• Your reading begins to feel like a “have to,” instead of a “want or can’t-wait-to.”

Sweet Mother of All Fiction Writers, it made me tired just to type that bulleted list!

Your Creative Badass might not need more discipline.

(This is a mildly terrifying thought for those of us who have spent years trying to become more disciplined writers.)

What if the answer isn’t always to push harder?

Sometimes it is. Sometimes your Creative Badass needs you to stop whining, sit your butt in the chair, and write the damn scene. (Hence the mantra above.)

But other times? You’re hollowed-out. Uninspired and exhausted.

The trick is knowing whether you're avoiding the work or running on empty.

Your Creative Badass isn’t “just lazy.” Sometimes she’s depleted. And you cannot productivity-hack your way out of depletion.

You can certainly try. Creatives are nothing if not inventive.

• New planner!
• New writing app!
• New goal!

Sample goal: THIS time I shall wake at 5:00 am, meditate, journal, write 2,000 words, exercise, drink water, and become a New York Times bestseller by the end of the month!

Or...maybe you just need to go outside. Or nap or craft or clean. Do whatever renews YOU.

Rest is not the enemy of creativity

This one is difficult for me. I am very good at doing, but I am less accomplished at not doing.

Often, when I’m technically resting, some part of my brain is wandering around trying to work out solutions to problems, like maybe that would make the resting more productive.

But creativity needs empty spaces. Or at least empty brain spaces.

It needs walks, and conversations that have absolutely nothing to do with your work. It needs staring out windows, and reading books. Terrible television and cult-favorite movies. It needs quiet gardens and grand museums. It needs experiences that hold surprises.

To put it simply: our Creative Badasses will revolt if we keep pulling things out of the creative well without putting anything back in.

Make some time to play.

My husband asked me a question: When was the last time you wrote something you had absolutely no intention of sharing or publishing?

That one stopped me, because I couldn’t remember!

Don’t get me wrong. There are seasons for pushing toward a deadline, and the rewarding relief of knowing you made it.

But there are also seasons when the most useful thing you can do for your creativity is to stop demanding that it perform.

Go somewhere, and just notice things. Laugh with a friend. Read something delicious. Maybe you just need to allow yourself to get bored enough that your imagination starts looking around for something interesting to do.

I’m going to make a bet with you.

I’m betting your Creative Badass hasn't disappeared, any more than mine has. That it’s not broken. It’s just sitting in the corner, having a little tantrum, because you've turned everything it loves into homework.

Give that inner badass a little space, and something interesting to look at. Maybe a snack. Try something playful, unstructured, or ridiculous.

Maybe do something JUST BECAUSE IT DELIGHTS YOU, and see what happens.

I dare you.

* * * * * *

About Jenny

By day, Jenny Hansen provides brand storytelling, LinkedIn coaching, and copywriting for small businesses. By night, she writes humor, memoir, women’s fiction, and short stories. After 20+ years as a corporate trainer, she’s delighted to sit down while she works.

Find Jenny here at Writers In the Storm, or online on Facebook or Instagram.

Top photo purchased from Depositphotos.