Writers in the Storm

By Kris Maze

If you have ever gotten manuscript feedback that asks you to check your pacing, you know that can be a tricky task to manage. Where do you start? What parts of your writing will fix this vague problem? Pacing in a story is based on many factors and targeting areas of improvement can be overwhelming.

You are not alone. Many writers struggle with pacing issues. And many can sense when something is off but have a hard time identifying what is causing the problem. Digging into podcasts, articles, and taking classes can refine your skills as a writer, but maybe a tactical list of common pacing issues that impact a novel is all you need.

Have you heard any of the following when revising your novel?

• Avoid Sagging middles.
• Build more compelling characterization.
• Cut more of your prose.
• Delete unnecessary scenes.
• Engage the reader more.

It’s an alphabet of well-intentioned advice, but annoying if you don’t know where to start. Writers have many tools and bits of knowledge to help them revise their pacing. But how? And how much revision will be enough?

Sometimes the adjustments that make a difference in your novel can start small. Maybe a slight characterization or POV change can improve the story. Sometimes it is cutting a whole secondary plot that drags and slows the main action. Sometimes the conflict is just not compelling enough and you need to up-the-stakes. 

Although writers develop their own ways to edit and pace-proof their work, how to fix pacing can be solvable a mystery for your manuscript. Reading up on pacing can easily become a time sink hole keeping you from writing, but it’s easier when you have a plan. Try my pacing issues revision list to fix your novel.

Included in this post are my simplified go-to repair suggestions for pacing. Aimed at giving you an actionable list of fixes, you can use these ideas to make your book more engaging and appropriately paced. 

Power Pacing Tips for Revising your Manuscript.

1. Check your chapter word counts.

One way to quickly check on your pacing is to compare the word count for your chapters. What do you notice when you list the word counts for each section? Depending on your genre and style, the chapter counts can tell you a lot about variations in your writing.

For the most part, the amount of words in each chapter should not throw off the reading experience. This will mean different things for different authors. Some authors write in tiny potato chip chapters that suit their thriller novel style. Other authors take their time to let readers discover their characters and setting and delicately build up their scenes for readers who want to savor their stories. But chapters that are outliers (and perhaps too long) in your book can show places where you may need to edit extra side stories or fluff.

I tend to write about 1500 to 2000 word chapters. For me, this keeps the momentum in the story and gives the reader a place to digest what has happened before propelling into the next part of the story. Your genre and style may require something different. Looking for long chapters may be an opportunity to cut slow scenes or to separate actions into their own chapters. Breaking down long chapters into parts can give you a chance to develop the key scenes more as well.

Look for chapters that are exceptionally long or short. These places in your novel may need work. There are exceptions to this pacing-problem-spotter tip, so be aware of these considerations: 

• Short chapters can be used to emphasis a scene or to highlight a key event in your story. Perhaps your novel has a sequence of short chapters where the high-stakes or intense action is better suited by quick, brief chapters are appropriate. 
• Longer chapters may be appropriate. Perhaps your character is in a new setting, and you have detailed exposition to show the reader this new world you have created. Letting your reader wander in your new space will take more words.
• Are all of your chapters very similar? Eerily at the word count within a word or two? Some variety is needed to keep your reader interested. 

The important matter is to see what the word counts mean to your story. Just because you have long chapters or short chapters doesn’t necessarily mean they need to be fixed. It can be a place to check for parts that either pull the reader out of your story with side plots and lengthy exposition. It could mean you have too many short chapters that don’t give the reader enough information, confusing them, and losing them. Consider revising.

My WIP Word Count Discovery - An Overbearing B Story

Here's an example from my current work in progress (WIP). I recently re-started a project that I put on pause a year ago and organized the draft in Scrivener. While I looked over the scenes, I noticed a few shorter ones. These ones needed development and fleshing out, so I took time to build those scenes, filling in characterizations and details to make the story pop. I added more of the world building elements found in my genre and characterizations to help those scenes flow better and to better impact on my story.

And then there was a mega B story floating in the middle of my manuscript. A chunk that represented one beat for my book but had become its own living thing with multiple character arcs and settings. The point of this scene within my plotline warranted only a few pages of book real estate at most. And since only one of the plot lines complemented the overall story, it needed to be cut. Removing most of this beat helped my manuscript stay focused and as a bonus I now I can revise the new side story and turn it into a novella. Score!

2. Check paragraphs vs. white spaces

Do you see blocky chunks of text? Or a lattice patchwork of delicately balanced system of text and breathing space for the mind? One way to check for pacing issues is to see the physical layout of your work.  If you have ever had the extreme pleasure to work with Margie Lawson, you will have heard about analyzing your white spaces.

Check the layout by printing off your manuscript and setting multiple pages in order on a large table or floor. What do you notice? Bricks of text in my work tend to tell me that I need to pull out more telling and show the story to my reader instead. I may need to add dialogue or internalizations to break up these blocks of text.

A digital way to check this is to find the multiple page view that most word processing software programs have. Zoom out to 8 or 10 pages and scroll through your manuscript. With careful observation you may discover areas that flow easier for the reader, others that are like bricks, walling off your story from easy access. 

Have fun looking at your story’s visual form. It can reveal clues about pacing without analyzing the words. And getting a bird’s-eye view may be what you need to identify the hard-to-find pacing issues.

3. Check sentence length variation throughout your work.

If you use a program like Grammarly, ProWritingAid, or AutoCrit, you know there are many reports you can produce from your work. Try looking at the sentence variation.  

How varied are your sentences? Like the chapters, the variation should flow with your story and not hinder it. There should be shorter sentences with dialogue. And longer ones for world-building. This is another quick check for problematic pacing you can try.

4. Check sticky sentences

Using a text editor like Grammarly or ProWriteAid can also help you to identity sticky places and smooth them out. These programs give you a report on sentences that are very sticky or just sort of sticky. Sticky may keep your reader from continuing, so these are worth paying attention to. Try these sticky sentence solutions.

• Break up longer sentences into smaller, more manageable pieces by the ideas contained within them. 
• Find the main point of the sentence and rewrite it with more clarity.
• There may be too many ‘little words’ like ‘of’ and other prepositions. Try rewriting these and get out the clunky little words that could make your reader stumble out of your story.
• Combine sentences for better flow and less repetition.

Finding sticky sentences is one way to keep your story's pacing on track and to keep your readers happy.

5. Check POV

Giving the reader different points of view (POV) can make your story more interesting by giving the reader insight into the characters’ world view. The main POV should come primarily from your main character. See if most of your story is revealed through their eyes.

Do you have consistent POV throughout your story? Be sure to start each new chapter with clarity and through the eyes of the character it represents. Add details about that character, dropping hints and new information as your character moves through your plot. A strong use of POV can add pizazz to a story, or it can throw off your reader. Check this aspect of your novel if your pacing needs some help.

6. Check for Showing. 

Showing but not telling? Use dialogue to spice up boring chunks of text that could invite your reader to skim. Consider smoothing out your pacing by letting your character’s share their world through dialogue. Let the reader see what your character sees to add interest. If what they say is revealing the key events, mood, and motivations, the writer doesn’t have to. 

Figure out how much of your manuscript is dialogue. Many writing software programs have this option. This is another way to improve your pacing and balance out your exposition with dialogue. 

7. Check for redundancies

One common reader-speed bump writers often miss in their novels are redundancies. Go through your main story structure and see where your readers get the main ideas for each plot point. Do your characters do something different at each twist and turn? At a story structure level, see how your plot line varies. Maybe you can change a portion of it to keep your story from being too predictable.

Does the solution to their problem change and evolve as they grow in their character arc? Wow your reader with new resolutions for each conflict they get and keep the story flowing with interesting twists along the way.

8. Check for fluffy and unnecessary words.

Create a list of those words you like to overuse and nix those in your manuscript. Some of mine are words like back, up, and down, that really do nothing other than slow down the reader. Do a simple search for these words in your writing software. Are they needed in the sentences where you have them?

See my previous posts on fixing fluff words HERE and HERE for ideas on how writers can edit the excess from their work.

Final Thoughts on Pacing Tips

I hope this list of pacing fixes can help you revise your manuscript in a meaningful and manageable way. Keep on writing and revising.  The payoff of a well-written manuscript is on the horizon!

Tell us about your most recent project below and fix tips that you can share for revisions.

About Kris

Kris Maze, an education enthusiast with a knack for the written word, has dedicated several years to the world of academia. She writes for various publications including Practical Advice for Teachers of Heritage Learners of Spanish and award-winning blog Writers in the Storm where she is also a host.

You can find her YA fiction, writing resources, and keep up with her author events at KrisMaze.com. Find her darker, scarier fiction at her sister-site KrissyKnoxx.com.

A recovering grammarian and hopeless wanderer, Kris enjoys reading, learning languages, and spending time outdoors where she ponders the wisdom of Bob Ross.

And sometimes she plans a writing road trip.

Scaretastic and Sci-Fi Stories

And hot from the presses—Kris has a collection of award-winning stories that was just released in June. Check it out at any of the main retailer bookstores. Click and share to help support indie writing. 

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by Laura Drake

We’ve all read it. We’ve all written it. The overexplanation. Even published books are rife with it (though I’ll bet, not many bestsellers are.) Is it small? Subtle? Often. But enough of it sprinkled in your writing will invite skimming. And as Margie Lawson says, skimming is death to a novel. She’s not wrong. 

But it’s insidious. There are MANY forms of Authorsplaining, and they creep in when you’re not looking. Here are a few, and how to spot and banish them:

Overdescribing

It’s easy to get carried away with descriptions – you’re seeing it in your head and using pretty words to paint a picture. But if it’s something the reader has seen/knows, don’t go into great detail. You can never describe a sunset over the ocean better than your memory, and your reader has most likely witnessed one (or many.) See how that can invite skimming?

Take for example, a high school dance. You can just sketch in broad strokes the streamers hanging from the gym ceiling…after all, we’ve all been to one, so we don’t need a ton of detail on decorations – just enough to show us they tried to convert the gym to something magical. And that effort always fails, right? Show that. 

There are exceptions to this – mostly in Fantasy, Sci-Fi and Historical genres, where we’re not familiar with the item/scene you’re describing. But still, don’t be carried away, or your reader will lose interest. They didn’t pick up your regency to learn how many spokes make up a phaeton carriage wheel.

Circling back

This is something I see a lot. You say something, then move on, then come back and give more info, then circle back again to the same subject.  This really irritates a reader. They feel like you think they’re not smart enough to get it the first time.

If you find yourself doing this, I’ll bet it’s because you’ve found a better way to say it, the second time. If so, cut the first, or combine the best of both – it’ll be more powerful.

Example:

Sean looks over from where he’s heaving junk out of the closet. “Seriously? We have a houseful of stuff to get rid of, and you want to keep old newspaper clippings? Just trash them.”

Then, a few lines later:

“Do I have to beg you? Please, ditch the newspaper clippings.”

Can you see that the reader knows what he’s referring to, so you can just say, ‘ditch them.’ Or, better yet, just ‘Please.’ Trust that your reader will know what you’re talking about. 

Thoughts

Have you ever felt trapped in a character’s head, and you can’t wait to get out? Most of the time (unless you’re in Hannibal Lecter’s head) I think this is because you’re writing the mundane, everyday thoughts. We have way too many of those in our own heads—we don’t want to read about your character’s. 

I have one rule about this: only show thoughts the reader couldn’t guess! 

Showing then Telling

We could argue all day about show vs. tell, but that’s for another blog. What you never want to do (and I see often) is show AND tell. 

Example:

The author just described a snow-covered landscape outside.

A chill seeped through the glass. Becky rubbed her goose-bumped arms.

The author told, then showed. We know snow is cold. If she has goose bumps, we know it’s from a chill. 

Another:  She was steaming with frustration. He was always late.  “Why can’t you ever be on time?”

Authorsplaining is as irritating to read as it is to hear in real life. It seems hard to notice at first, but once you get used to spotting it, you can’t unsee it. 

Write on!

Your turn. Share examples of authorsplaining from something you're reading or your own WIP.

About Laura

Laura Drake is a hybrid author of Women's Fiction and Romance. Her debut, THE SWEET SPOT, won the 2014 Romance Writers of America® RITA® award. She’s since published 10 more romances and four Women’s Fiction. She is a founding member of Women’s Fiction Writers Association and Writers in the Storm blog.

Laura is a city girl who never grew out of her tomboy ways. She gave up the corporate CFO gig to write full time. She realized a lifelong dream of becoming a Texan and is currently working on her accent. She's a wife, grandmother, and motorcycle chick in the remaining waking hours.

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by Lori Freeland

“When writing characters, it's important to remember that they are not just tools to move the plot forward; they are living, breathing individuals with their own hopes, dreams, and fears.” 

- Stephen King

I’m a character-driven writer. But even if you’re more story driven, great characters are the beating heart of every memorable book. Living vicariously through wonderfully written, unique characters is the best part of reading—and often the best part of writing. 

Writing amazing character descriptions is an art. It’s bringing a thought alive using only words. It’s creating a movie experience in a reader’s head without actual sights, sounds, or smells. It’s turning imaginary people into living, breathing entities who your readers want to get to know and  bond with.  

Writers often skip over building multi-dimensional, relatable characters in favor of exciting action, witty dialogue, and complex story problems. Those elements are all important, and you want them, but it’s when readers can see, hear, smell, and feel your characters’ emotions that they become invested in their journeys. That’s when they root for them. Cry for them. Stick around till the end to see what happens to them.

And it’s not just physical attributes that make characters worth remembering. It’s how you describe their:

• personalities
• thoughts
• choices
• speech patterns/pet words/phrases
• clothes/possessions/cars 
• worldviews
• reactions to obstacles/struggles 
• treatment of others
• relationships
• backstories
• and so much more 

The Meet and Greet

When readers first meet a character, they tend to make assumptions, like we do when we meet new people. If we don’t guide those assumptions the direction we want them to go, if we don’t paint an accurate picture on the page of who our characters are, readers will draw their own conclusions. 

Sometimes, that’s great. Other times, they’ll go the wrong direction, and it’s hard to correct. 

If you give no clue to the age, gender, or personality of your character, the reader could imagine a jaded middle-aged woman (who they instantly dislike) when you meant to write a shy, lonely twenty-year-old girl searching for the meaning of life (who you want them to root for). And by the time they reach your description ten pages in, you’ve lost them. 

The best time to give the most description is when we first meet a character. Show a little bit of physical description—maybe a trait that sticks out. What someone notices about themselves or others can be a huge clue to what’s important or not important to them. And add in some mannerisms or personality clues. Be careful not to throw in too much and interrupt the scene. It can be tricky to find that balance. 

After that first meeting—where you’ve pushed the reader the right direction—you can build that character out even more by sprinkling in additional descriptions each time we see them. 

Examples of character introductions from my young adult novel The Accidental Boyfriend: 

• My flip-flops slap to a sudden stop when I see Dad standing next to Vi, who’s kicked off her heels and gotten cozy with our wing chair and an oversized mug of coffee. Sunlight streams through the wall of windows overlooking our pool, highlighting her lavender bob and brightening her fuchsia suit. Twenty years past her party-queen prime, she still somehow manages to rock both those colors. I’d kill to shop where she buys her confidence.

• All I get is a short grunt from Dad as he tramps down the back staircase looking out of place with my neon purple suitcase. Trained by decades of marine posture, his wide shoulders stay at attention while his wardrobe falls at ease. Retired five years, he’s replaced the starchy uniform with wrinkled tees and faded jeans, clung to his buzz cut, and cried rebel with a single hoop earring—giving him an odd vibe of uptight casual. 

• A group of women swarm some guy, taking pictures, handing him things to sign. Close to my age, he reminds me of a younger Sam from Supernatural. A few inches shorter than Sam’s 6’4”, this guy’s still tall and lean in a pair of washed-out jeans. A fitted Eminem T-shirt puts the muscles in his chest and biceps on parade, and messy brown hair flops over his forehead in the front and grazes his collar in the back. Wearing charm like a million-dollar smile, he’s laughing with the crowd, but there’s a subtle stiffness in his spine that makes me think he’d rather be anywhere else. Just like me. 

Examples of memorable characters from popular books: 

• Severus Snape (Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling)

Snape is described as having greasy black hair, sallow skin, a hooked nose, and dark, intensely penetrating eyes. But what Rowling really creates is a mystery and an uncertainty about him that leaves us wondering what he’s really up to and whose side he’s on throughout the series. 

• Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins)

Katniss has olive skin, long dark hair that’s usually braided, gray eyes, and a lean, wiry frame. But what Collins really creates is a strong female lead who’s tough, athletic, a skilled hunter, and someone who is resilient in an impossible situation.  

• Tyrion Lannister (A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin)

Tyrion is a scarred and disfigured stocky dwarf with mismatched eyes, a broad, flat nose, sharp wit, and a love for wine and women. But what Martin really creates is a shrewd, intelligent man with a complex personality who can’t be stereotyped and constantly surprises us.  

• Hazel Grace Lancaster (The Fault in Our Stars by John Green)

Hazel, pale and fragile with dark eyes and short, thinning hair, usually wears jeans, a T-shirt, and an oxygen mask. But what Green really creates is a teenage girl struggling with mortality who all of us can relate to.

Your Turn

Think about:

• the reasons each of the characters above stuck with you long after you closed the book
• what you like to know about a character when you first meet them

List what’s important for your readers to know about your character:

• right away
• at different points in the story

Keep in mind that you can always go back and “beef” up your descriptions when you’ve gotten to know your characters a little better and drafted more of the story. I often don’t have a solid idea about who I want them to be until I’m at least five chapters in.  

The Bottom Line

By making character descriptions a priority and widening them beyond physical attributes, you’ll deepen the story, immerse readers in an emotional journey, and give them multiple reasons to stick around. 

I’d love to read your character descriptions. Share them in the comments!

About Lori

Lori Freeland wrote her first story at age five. It wasn’t good, but it left her with the belief that everyone has a story to tell. An author, editor, and writing coach, she writes everything from articles to novels, has taught at conferences across the country, and helped many new writers find their voices. A mood reader, she loves happy endings, thrills and chills, unexpected twists, and anything a little weird—as long as it has a touch of romance. When she’s not curled up on the couch with her husband and her dog drinking too much coffee, you can find her messing with the lives of the imaginary people living inside her head.

lorifreeland.com (young adult & contemporary romance fiction) 

lafreeland.com (inspirational blog & resources for writers) 

The Accidental Boyfriend was an Amazon #1 New Release, a ReaderViews Bronze Award Winner, and a Publisher’s Weekly BookLife Prize Finalist.

Jess is everything Gabe wants. Gabe is everything Jess doesn’t know she needs. After celebrity heartthrob Gabe unknowingly hijacks homeschooled Jess’s first kiss, he decides she could be the perfect decoy to throw off the paparazzi. If he can convince her to play his girlfriend of the week. Keeping the impossible promise he made his mom depends on it. Only Jess isn’t about to be anyone’s fangirl and wants nothing to with TV's hottest hairball or his Hollywood ego.