Writers in the Storm

Lori Freeland

“Show, don’t tell” might be the three most misunderstood words in a writer’s vocabulary.

But—

• Why is showing so important?
• Is it always bad to tell?
• How the heck do you even know if you’re doing it right?
• And just what is the difference between them?

Start with a Definition

Now let’s take this abstract idea and make it concrete.

TELLING is writing:
He was short.                                                    

SHOWING is writing:
A visual of him getting on a stool to reach the top cabinet.

You don’t even have to use the word “short.” In fact, it’s better if you don’t.

“Don’t tell us the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.” (Mark Twain)

“Don’t tell me the morning is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.” (Anton Chekov)

“Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader—not the fact that it is raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.” (E.I. Doctorow)

A word “picture” is worth a thousand word “statements.”

Examples: Delete This / Write This

He was bleeding. / Dark liquid dripped from his side.

It was snowing. / Fluffy white flakes covered the ground.

Mary loves chocolate. / Mary popped the last piece of Belgian chocolate into her mouth and closed her eyes.

Bailey was happy to see Brad. / Bailey sprinted through the crowd, flung her arms around Brad, and buried her face in his chest.

Writers, we can’t SEE the story you’ve created in your head if you don’t PUT it on the page. We can’t read your minds. RIDICULOUS, right? I mean, it would be so much easier if we could.

Active versus Passive Writing

SHOWING is ACTIVE. TELLING is PASSIVE. That’s true. Sometimes telling is lazy writing. But sometimes it’s not. You can’t “show” everything. Painting a word picture in every paragraph turns your novel into a tome.

When is it okay to tell?

• when you need faster pacing
• to show a minimal moment
• as a way to move your story forward
• if you don’t want your book to finish at 350,000 words

When should you show?

• when you want to evoke
  emotion in your reader
• during a crucial
  moment or traumatic event
• to point out a turning
  point in the story
• if you want to show a
  change in relationships or circumstances
• to highlight important
  information or a big decision

If something is supposed to be a BIG DEAL for your reader, it needs to be a BIG DEAL to your character, and readers needs to “see” it for themselves.

Think of it this way. In a news report, you hear the reporter say there’s been a devastating hurricane in Florida, but it’s the images of the destruction on the screen that really get you. 

Want your readers to feel emotion? Make them feel like they’re actually there.

Be Prepared

It helps if you have a plan. Write a brief summary of what needs to happen in the scene and mark what’s important—then make a point to SHOW anything you’ve marked.

Keep It Real

If your character was a real person, how would she respond? SHOW that.

Example: If a man comes home and finds his wife dead, he isn’t going to shower and have dinner like nothing happened. Unless ... he hired someone to kill her and he’s planning to admire the handiwork before he disposes of the body.

If you want to bring your characters to life, treat them like real people.

I Could Write This:

Smiling, Alek moved in to put his arm around me.

I backed out of reach.

He frowned.

So did I. I didn’t want to be jumpy around him, but I couldn’t help it.

Or I Could Write This:

Alek’s smirk went southern gentleman, and he moved close to put his arm around me.

A chill broke over my skin. I backed out of reach, and his grin dropped quicker than his arms. But my newly acquired auto flinch didn’t seem to care. It overrode every one of the thousand times he’d hugged me before. 

Avoid Emotion Words

How do I know if I’m showing? Kill your emotion words.  

Telling: John was so mad he couldn’t stay seated.

Showing: Heat threatened to fuse the collar of John’s shirt to his neck. He stood so fast the metal chair toppled behind him.

Everyone has “go to” emotion words. Make it a point to notice yours. Then make a list and do a search. Take them out in places you want to show and give us a visual instead. 

If I Can’t Use Emotion Words, What Can I Use?

• Description

Her face turned an odd shade of purple.

• Action

He ground his teeth so loud I could almost hear his fillings crack.

*Sometimes it’s powerful to show what doesn’t happen.

But she doesn’t yell at me. She doesn’t question me. She doesn’t even look at me.

• Internal Thought for
  POV character

Forty-seven minutes of sleep was enough. Right?

• Similes

A quick, bright smile went 'round the room like a streak of sunshine. (Little Women, Louisa May Alcott)

•  Metaphors

When it comes to digging into my life, my dad is Sherlock Holmes.

• Comparison with a Universal
  Situation

My stomach took a ride on some seriously choppy waters.

• Subtext (voice cues,
  expressions, body language, visceral reactions)

For in-depth info and examples, head over to Margie Lawson’s website at margielawson.com. She’s the queen of subtext!

Subtext evokes emotion. Emotion keeps your readers involved. If we don’t feel what your character feels, we don’t have a reason to care about what happens to her and ... we won’t turn the page.

One Last Thing—Consider Word Choice

Words convey moods. You’d use different words at a funeral than a wedding, even if you were describing the same church.

You’d use different words describing a friendship than a romantic relationship.

How your character perceives a situation should come across through the types of words he uses.

Where do you struggle with “show, don’t tell,” and what helps you make this idea less abstract and more concrete? I’d love if you’d share in the comments!

About Lori

An encourager at heart, author, editor, and writing coach Lori Freeland believes everyone has a story to tell. She’s presented multiple workshops at writer’s conferences across the country and writes everything from non-fiction to short stories to novels—YA to adult. When she’s not curled up with her husband drinking too much coffee and worrying about her kids, she loves to mess with the lives of the imaginary people living in her head.

You can find her young adult and contemporary romance at lorifreeland.com and her inspirational blog and writing tips at lafreeland.com. Her latest release, The Accidental Boyfriend, is currently free on the Radish app.

Every Scrivener project is based on a template (i.e., a pre-set layout and formatting). Scrivener comes with quite a few to get you started—all based on the Blank template—but did you know you can create your own?

A project template can include files, folder structure, references, keywords, Label and Status values, and more. If you create your next project based on your own custom template, you’ll save time by getting right to work with everything you need already in place.

And, of course, you can create one or more templates for each type of project. It might take some time working with Scrivener before you figure out what you want in your template, but don’t feel like you have to get it all right the first time. I’ll show you how to make changes.

Understanding What’s Included

The easiest way to create a new template is to take an existing project that’s set up the way you want it and use it as the basis for your new template. The key thing to remember is that EVERYTHING gets copied:

• Label and Status field names and values
• Keywords
• Everything that’s in the Binder (structure, files, images, imported docs) and its related meta-data
• Collections
• Compile settings
• Project Bookmarks/References
• All project-specific settings, like default text style, full screen settings, typewriter scrolling, etc.

Prepping Your Project File

To create a template, you’ll need to use an existing project, but strip out anything you don’t want to show up in future projects (like the writing!). To protect your work, you’ll make a copy to serve as the base for the template.

1. Open the
   project you want to copy and go to File>Save As.
2. Since
   this is going to be a throwaway project created solely for making a template,
   name the new file DeleteMe.scriv (or something that makes it clear you can get
   rid of it later), and choose a location for it (I like to use the Desktop for
   throwaway items so they’re easy to find and delete later).
3. Click
   Save.

The name in the window header changes to DeleteMe. When you perform a Save As command (in any program), it copies the original and then closes it, leaving the new file (in this case, DeleteMe) open.

Removing What You Don’t Want

Now that your original manuscript is safe, you can strip out the manuscript-specific items in DeleteMe until you have a generic shell to use as your template base. Delete (Documents>Move to Trash) items such as:

• Chapter folders and text documents that are in the Draft/Manuscript folder (deleting a folder removes its subdocuments as well). If you have any front or back matter items in the project, you may want to leave them in the template so you don’t have to recreate them from scratch for the next book.
• Delete any images, PDFs, or other items in in the Research folder that are specific to the current book, but leave anything that’s useful for your series, or for all writing that you do.
• Check your Collections for any unwanted collections.
• Project Bookmarks (Project References in Windows).
• Project Notes (Windows and Mac version 2 only).

HINT: You can use multiple-selection to choose all the files to delete and then drag them to the Trash folder (or right-click and choose Move To Trash).

Adding What You Need

If you want to add any placeholder documents or folders, now’s the time to do it. For example, if you like to write by putting scenes in part folders, you could add folders for parts 1-3 or 1-4 (depending on your story structure method) and add an initial, blank scene document.

I also include the following in my fiction template:

• A Notes or Ideas document
  for keeping track of general story ideas that come to me while writing or
  brainstorming.
• An Unused Scenes folder
  where I move scenes that don’t make the cut. I like to keep all of my words,
  and I sometimes pilfer from these “practice” scenes later.
• A list of words I tend to
  overuse.
• A productivity tracking
  document where I note the hours and word count for each writing day so I can
  see how long it really took me to write the book.
• Various story structure or
  craft documents that I refer to on occasion.
• Separate folders for front
  and back matter (allows you to have multiple versions of each for compiling).

TIP: The easiest way to add a folder at the “root” level (same as Draft, Research, and Trash) is to select the Trash folder, and then go to Project>New Folder. You can use Edit>Move (Mac) or Documents>Move (Windows) to adjust the folder’s position up or down if you have trouble dragging it to the desired location.

Setting Up the Metadata

If you’ve been using the Label, Status, Keywords, or Custom Metadata fields, they’ll be in your template unless you strip them out. This is great if you use them for the same thing from project to project—like revision status, recurring characters in a book series, or story structure elements. No need to recreate them every time.

On the other hand, if you use Label, Status, or Keywords for something like character point of view, which may not be the same between books, you’ll want to take out the values you don’t need.

• To change the Label values or title, go to
  Project>Project Settings>Label List (Mac) or Project>Meta-Data
  Settings>Labels (Windows).
• The Status settings can be
  found at Project>Project Settings>Status List (Mac) or
  Project>Meta-Data Settings>Status (Windows).
• To modify the project
  keywords, go to Project>Show Project Keywords.
• To add, remove, or adjust
  existing custom metadata fields, Mac users can select the Metadata tab on the
  Inspector and click the gear button in the Custom Metadata section. Windows
  users go to Project>Meta-Data Settings>Custom Meta-Data.

Creating a Template

The hard part’s done! Now we just create the template from the shell we made.

1. Before you do anything else, you want to empty the Trash folder; otherwise, all of that stuff we deleted will be included in your template. To do so, go to Project>Empty Trash.
2. Now you’re ready! Go to File>Save As Template (several options below Save As in the menu). The Template Information window opens. NOTE: If you get a warning about personal information in your file, you can ignore it (click Continue) unless you’re planning to share your template with other writers.
3. In the Title text box, type a name for your template that makes it clear it’s your own custom template and what it’s for (e.g., Gwen’s Novel Template or Novel-GH).
4. From the Category drop-down, choose the category where you want it to show up (e.g., Fiction). This is the tab you’ll find your template under when you create a new project. TIP: Version 3 users can choose Custom and then add a custom category.
5. (Windows and version 2 only) In the Description text box, add a description of your choosing (optional, but useful if you have a lot of templates).
6. In the Icon section, choose an icon you like to represent your template.
7. (Version 3 only) If you have styles that you want to include, check the box to “Save styles into template.”
8. Click OK.
9. Close the DeleteMe project.

You don’t need the DeleteMe project anymore because you were just using it as a basis for your template. At this point, you can delete it in Finder or File Explorer (or from your Desktop if that’s where you saved it).

Creating a New File From a Template

Okay, these next steps are just a review of the basics. The only thing that’s different is this time the template you’re choosing is your very own. How exciting! ;-)

1. If you don’t have any other projects open, the Project Templates window should have popped up automatically when you closed DeleteMe. If not, go to File>New Project.
2. Select the tab where you saved your template. There it is!

1. Select your template.
2. If you want this to be your default template (the one Scrivener highlights whenever you create a new project), click the Options button at the bottom left of the window and choose Set Selected Template as Default.
3. To create a project based on your selected template, Mac users can click Choose. Windows users skip to the next step.
4. Name the new project and choose a location for it.
5. Click Create.
6. Give Scrivener a few seconds to process, and... There it is. Your first project based on your very own template.

Editing a Template

Maybe after working in your new project for a while, you realize you missed a few things. You can essentially edit your own template by replacing it with an updated version.

The easiest way to do it is to create a fresh new project based on the faulty template and then delete the new project when you’re done. Basically a repeat of the original process.

Once you have the new project ready to be templatized—yes, I coined a new verb—do the following:

1. Go to
   File>Save As Template. All of the template fields should already be
   prepopulated with the info from this document’s original template, but if they’re
   not, fill in the details, leaving the template name the same.
2. Click OK.
3. When you get the overwrite warning,
   click Yes.
4. Delete the sample project
   and you’re back in business.

NOTE: If you had wanted to create a slightly different template based on the one we were working with, you could have just saved as a new name instead of overwriting the original.

That’s it!

Do you see a use for custom templates in your own writing? What Scrivener questions do you have for me on this—or any other—topic?

About Gwen

Gwen Hernandez is the author of Scrivener For Dummies and and helps authors all over the world find the joy in Scrivener through her online courses, in-person workshops, and private training. She also writes romantic suspense (Men of Steele series).

In her spare time she likes to travel, read, jog, flail on a yoga mat, and explore southern California, where she currently lives with her husband and a lazy golden retriever. You can find more information about Gwen at http://gwenhernandez.com/.

Fae Rowen

I've been writing for twenty-five years. I started when an English-teacher friend suggested I write down the story that I thought about every night before I fell asleep. As a math teacher, I had no intention of writing a book, but I'd finished my first one, a medieval kind-of-fantasy-for-sure romance in only nine months, while working two jobs.

After that I started taking classes, joined writers' groups, reading writing craft books, attending conferences, found a couple of good critique groups…you know the drill.

As I (finally) finish the edits on my second book, I've been thinking a lot about my writing in the new decade—how it will change, what I can do to make it better. Here are my thoughts.

1. Learn more about and practice until I've got Deep POV in my Tool Box.

Lisa Hall-Wilson is a great resource for all things Deep POV. So is Margie Lawson. Here's what Deep POV is: The writer is in the head of the character, but is not writing in first person. Deep POV is for writers who prefer third person, but want to expose more of their characters' thoughts and emotions without distancing the reader.

Example from PRISM 2: Rebellion:

Before Deep POV revision: "Jericho lifted the cover off his plate. A portrait-perfect salad with artfully cut and placed vegetables. Too bad eating across from Gatfield ruined his appetite."

After revision: "Jericho skewered the salad with his fork. What he wanted to do with that fork would have landed him in jail for homicide."

Many people think Deep POV is about specific details. It can be, but remember that writing in Deep POV gives the reader information she can't otherwise see.

2. Pay more attention to what I've written immediately after I write it.

Laura Drake uses an Excel Worksheet for writing scene details after-the-fact. We're both pantsers. Outlining my book would take all the fun out of writing it, but I've spent way too long editing, and I see the value of being able to find at a glance where things happen, when characters are introduced, and look for the balance between plots and subplots and character time on the page.

I've spent hours searching for the name of a not-even-secondary character that ended up being more important and I couldn't remember his name seventy pages after his introduction.

3. Give myself enough time to edit...

Without cramping my time and potentially comprising the quality of my work.

As an eternal optimist, I always think I can finish whatever the task in less tie that it ultimately tasks me. Positive thinking only works so far. I have to put in the chair time, which I think I've finally figured out with this last revision.

4. Learn more about "layering in"...

Emotions, Deep POV, "inner life," backstory, character insights through multi-passes. (I'll need a class or a good book for this.)

5. Take at least one class a year...

That will challenge my ability and "level up" my writing.

In 2020 I'm planning on attending the Kauai Writers' 4-Day Masters Intensive. I'm sure there will be at least on new writing trend taught there.

6. Set small daily, or at least weekly, goals...

To keep my writing on track and my WIP progressing.

I'm not a goal-setter; I don't make New Year's Resolutions. But I have found that when I do strive for a reasonable word- or page-count, I'm more productive.

I know some writers have large wall poster with production calendars. I'm not to that point, but I need to hold myself accountable for showing up and writing on a schedule that works with my week's activities.

7. Write "tighter" in my first draft.

So far, my track record with word counts and finishing books, then revising them is, well, a failure. After three or four rounds of edits per book, I end up with a file of cut words which equals the size of the finished book. Yipes! How much more productive can I be if I don't spend that writing and cutting time?

That means sticking tightly to my characters' goals motivation, and conflict. No adding scenes that" enrich" what we know about the character, their backstory, their life. Only scenes that move the plot of the book forward belong on the page.

8. Figure out the hidden, sometimes from themselves, things that make my characters tick before I finish the book...

And have to edit in those very important details and cut the unimportant, though perhaps "quaint" beliefs that make them unique in their world.

(It happened again in this book. I was sure I knew what fired my female protagonist. Turns out, I discovered a deeply-held belief I hadn't known about before I got halfway through the final edit. Really? How could I not have known?)

9. Enjoy writing.

My process, sitting in the chair, listening to critique feedback and re-working—all of it, as I work. I do this because I love writing my stories and hope they will mean something to my readers. Why can't I enjoy myself?

How do you plan on growing your writing skill into the next decade?

About Fae

Fae Rowen discovered the romance genre after years as a science fiction freak. Writing futuristics and medieval paranormals, she jokes that she can live anywhere but the present. As a mathematician, she knows life’s a lot more fun when you get to define your world and its rules.

P.R.I.S.M., Fae's debut book, a young adult science fiction romance story of survival, betrayal, resolve, deceit, and love is now available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Fae's second book in the series will be available for pre-order on Christmas, 2019.