by Sarah "Sally" Hamer
Ah, writing. That glorious pursuit of creativity, passion, and—let's be real—occasional existential despair. We writers open that proverbial vein and drip blood on the page, dress our “babies” in pretty words, and present them for the world to see.
Then comes the criticism and the rejection and the telling us that “our babies are ugly and we dress them funny.” Unbelievable! How can they not think it’s the greatest thing they’ve ever read? How can they not just send us a million dollar check and set up a publicity tour? What’s wrong with them?
Or…
We find out that the editor who actually is thinking about taking us on and has told us how good we are, has quit the business and become a forest ranger. (This actually happened to someone I know. She was worried that the former editor was using her manuscript as a fire starter.) Or, we get the query letter envelope back in the mail with a note scrawled across it: “Wish I liked it but I don’t.” (Also a true story!)
Then comes the sulking. And the crying into our pillow. And even the “I’m never writing again!” statement.
Unfortunately, these things happen. Even non-writing strangers have a say-so and can give you a one-star rating because the book didn’t get there for her mother’s birthday. But it’s okay. Because you’re not writing for her mother anyhow.
So, how do we feel better about this crazy, soul-sucking business?
Here’s a short list:
1. Don’t take it personally
Just because someone doesn’t like your work, it doesn’t mean that everyone won’t like your work. Really, if everyone only liked one kind of book, there’d only be one book. You may have to work a little to find that perfect match between your style and someone who likes that style, but I guarantee someone out there will. Don’t let criticism wear you down.
2. Remember why you write.
If it’s just for the money, then you may need to grow a thicker skin. But if it’s because you can’t NOT write, because writing is in your soul and you can’t imagine not writing, then what others think is not important. Yes, you may not ever sell a book. That happens. But, if you write because you love it, it will bring you pleasure.
Writing is a roller coaster. Period. Some days you’re going to love every minute, no matter what the chaos, and some days are soul-sucking. The sooner you accept that, the better. Embrace the highs, survive the lows, and remind yourself that even bestsellers were first drafts at some point.
3. Perfection is a Myth (and the Enemy)
Editing is essential, but perfectionism? A creativity killer. Some of the greatest stories were written by people who dared to put words on the page, even when they felt imperfect. Be kind to yourself—your first draft is just that: the first. No one’s expecting a masterpiece straight away (except maybe your inner critic, who really needs a vacation).
4. Find Your People
Writing can be lonely, but it doesn't have to be! Connect with other writers, whether online or in person. Surrounding yourself with a supportive community can help you weather rejection, celebrate wins, and share in the collective struggle of "why is writing so hard today?" Because we all have them.
5. Take Breaks—Seriously
Nothing fuels burnout faster than staring at a blank page. Get up out of the chair. Take a walk. Call someone you trust. Sometimes, I take a shower and pretend it’s a warm waterfall to help wash the critical thoughts away. Give your brain space to breathe, and watch your creativity flow again. NOTE: This is not an excuse to procrastinate. Set a time limit and get back to writing. Because it is what we love.
6. Rejection is Part of the Deal
Rejection. Why does it hurt so badly? Even the greats were told "no" at some point. But it helps us to grow into better writers. We learn from rejection, even if it’s only to be okay with ourselves. So, when rejection comes, allow yourself a moment of frustration, then remind yourself: it’s not personal, it’s just the process. Keep going.
7. Remember Why You Started
At the end of the day, writing isn’t just about publication, deadlines, or impressing the internet—it’s about the joy of storytelling. The magic of words. The thrill of creating something that never existed before. Hold onto that magic, and you’ll stay sane amid the chaos.
Writing may be wild, unpredictable, and occasionally maddening, but it's also one of the most rewarding journeys. So, laugh at the messy drafts, be kind to yourself on tough days, and keep going—because the world needs your words.
Learning Opportunity!
Join Sally, Margie Lawson, Lisa Norman, Jenny Hansen, four other amazing writers, and a panel of agents for an online symposium, Staying Sane in the Publishing World, on June 21st and 22nd. Email sally (at) mindpotential (dot) org for more information.
Now, tell me—what kind of writing adventure are you currently on? Can you think of another way to stay sane? Please share it with us in the comments section!
About Sarah (Sally)

Sarah (Sally) Hamer, B.S., MLA, is a lover of books, a teacher of writers, and a believer in a good story. Most of all, she is eternally fascinated by people and how they 'tick'. She’s passionate about helping people tell their own stories and has won awards at both local and national levels, including two Golden Heart finals.
A teacher of memoir, beginning and advanced creative fiction writing, and screenwriting at Louisiana State University in Shreveport for over twenty years, she also teaches online for Margie Lawson at www.margielawson.com and for the No Stress Writing Academy at https://www.worldanvil.com/w/classes-deleyna/a/no-stress-writing-academy. Sally is a free-lance editor and book coach, with many of her students and clients becoming successful, award-winning authors.
You can find her at info@mindpotential.org
Top photo purchased from Depositphotos.








