February 15th, 2019

Putting Fresh Faces on the Page!

by Margie Lawson

Don’t give readers a reason to take a mini-vacation from your page.

That’s what happens when readers come across clichéd phrases or sentences they’ve read before. They know what’s coming. Their brain takes a break from your story.

And for that fraction of a second they are sucked into the muck of their real world. Thinking things like:

I ought to quit reading and get some work done.

Has the washer quit running? I could transfer clothes from the washer to the dryer.

Because those blah-blah thoughts are more interesting than the overused phrase or sentence they just saw on the page.

We’ve all had those random reality-based thoughts when we’re reading. Because we aren’t locked in every sentence.

But we don’t have those reality intrusions when we’re fully immersed in a scene. When we’re locked in, reality doesn’t exist.

This blog focuses on faces. Writers fall into describing expressions in the same old, same old ways. The tried and trite phrases carry little interest, little power.

Facial expressions are more than just a visual. More than just a tag. More than just a beat.

They share subtext. And we all know how critical it is to share the underlying psychological messages that deepen characterization. Those truths that make our characters real.

I’m proud to share examples from writers who have studied with me. All examples in this blog are from writers who have completed at least one 5-day intensive. Some are published, the others aren’t yet published, but should be.

I’ll include a Deep Edit Analysis for several of the examples. Enjoy!

I recommend reading the examples OUT LOUD. With feeling. You’ll hear the compelling cadence.

Merlin’s Children, Becky Rawnsley, 2-time Immersion Grad, Denver

  1. His expression is calm, but there’s a hardness there, the same hardness I saw when he buried his family.

Deep Edit Analysis:

  • Power Words: calm, hardness, hardness, buried, family
  • Juxtaposed opposites
  • Back Story Slip In – Smart!
  • Compelling Cadence

NOTE:  Power words carry psychological power.

2. His smile is slow. And knowing. And soul-chilling.

3. Beverell’s smile is thinner than a gnat’s dick.

Deep Edit Analysis:

  • Flat-out, crazy-fun analogy.
  • Humor Hit!
  • Backloaded.
  • And I know from Becky, that thought fits her character’s personality.
  • Compelling Cadence

Becky Rawnsley could have written:  "Beverell gave me a weak smile."

But we’ve read that line.

4. Cale looks up at her, his expression a contender for stoniest-of-the-year.

That one made me laugh out loud!

Becky could have written: Cale looks up at her, his expression stony.

Demon Curse, Raewyn Bright, 4-time Immersion Grad, 3 Immersions in Australia, one in Denver

1.  And there was something in his expression, something her body understood. It awakened things in her that were better left dormant. Like her hopes. Her dreams. Her libido. Her demon.

Deep Edit Analysis:

  • Power Words: something, something, body understood, awakened, dormant, hopes, dreams, libido, demon
  • Backloaded  -- Every sentence
  • Raewyn Bright played with structure. Double: something, something
  • Anaphora (Triple+ Beginnings)
  • Zeugma – The last thing in the four-item series is different.
  • Compelling Cadence

2.  He turned away but she’d seen his expression. Guilt and resolve and damn the consequences.

3.  He had the look of a mean street thug. No neck, just a buzz-cut wedged-head atop thick shoulders. And a killer’s steady stare.

Love how the focus is on the description of the character, which makes the killer's steady stare a surprise. A carry-lots-of-punch surprise.

4.  He blew smoke at her and smiled. Not a Kumbaya-let’s-pray-for-your-soul smile. More like I’m-going-to-chop-you-into-little-pieces-and-mail-them-to-your-Goddess smile.

Amplified Smile with Dueling Hyphenated-Run-Ons!

Magic Heist, Mary Karlik, 2-time Immersion Grad, Denver and Palm Springs

Mary Karlik

1. “What the…” Chief Constable MacIntyre stood in the blown-out doorway staring at the fairy fluttering in front of Ian’s face. Ian could almost see the Chief try to lock onto an explanation. A smarmy smile slow-crossed his face like he’d just sold his logical mind a bill of goods. He turned to Ian. “I get it. That’s a hologram.”   

Deep Edit Analysis 

  • Power Words: Chief, blown-out, fairy, lock, explanation, smarmy, slow-crossed, sold, logical mind, bill of goods, hologram  
  • Double Alliteration: fairy, fluttering, front, face, smarmy smile slow-crossed, sold

2. “I’m fine watching. Besides, half-caste don’t mix with the full fairies.” Her smile stayed strong—even danced a little on her lips, but he heard a lifetime of longing to belong in her tone.

No more Deep Edit Analyses. The blog would be too long.

White Raven, Vanitha Sankaran, Immersion Grad, Yosemite National Park

1. Milo’s raised eyebrows were like question marks looking for a place to land. 

2. The skin around his eyes tightened, making the jagged scar on his face pop like a deadly snake on the move.

3. The Boy stood before Rasmi in a display of superior indifference, strong and solid and sure of his advantage. His stern scowl didn’t scream surprise-you-caught-a-trespasser. The alertness in his eyes didn’t look scared of being attacked either.

The Billionaire’s Paris Proposal, Allison Burke Collins, 2- time Immersion Grad, Dallas

1. The smile left her face, inch by inch, the color leeching out, skin becoming pale white marble. He’d put the woman on a pedestal, but now an icy cool goddess stared at him.

2. He turned his head, just an inch or two, and shadows reshaped his face from best friend to scary stalker.

Platinum Love, Ja'Nese Dixon, Immersion Grad, Dallas

The frown on my Daddy’s face tells me he’s gearing up for a lecture.

Rockstar Sinners, Ja'Nese Dixon, Immersion Grad, Dallas

He watched the emotions dance across her face, excitement, fear, dread, determination, all in seconds.

Never a Viscount, Sheri Humphreys, 2-time Immersion Grad, Denver and Yosemite National Park

1.  His expression—he might have been a prisoner awaiting execution, begging the Lord Justice for leniency.  

2.  She grinned and the look on his carefree face made her chest fill like a sail taking the wind.

A School for Unusual Girls, A Stranje House Mystery, Kathleen Baldwin, Immersion Grad, Dallas

1. They sat across from me, stone- faced and icy as the millpond in winter. Father did not so much as blink in my direction. But then, he seldom does.

2. That sharp hawk-like expression of hers returned, unreadable and shrewd.

3.  An emotion splashed across Jane’s face, but vanished so swiftly I couldn’t identify it. Was it anger? Sadness perhaps? Or pain? 

Drawn and Buried, Dana Summers, Immersion Grad, Denver

1. He had the kind of blunt-featured face I'd seen in graphic novels. Like someone had slammed on the brakes in his brain, and all the weird crap from the backseat had piled up behind his smoldering eyes.

2. Beneath the slash of his brow, his restless eyes pulsed like black beetles working the earth. 

3. The hurricane vanished from his face, replaced by partly cloudy with only a chance of shit storms.

This Heart of Mine, C.C. Hunter (Christie Craig), NYT Bestseller, Immersion Grad, Denver         

1. Dad walks over. He’s wearing his I’ll-take-on-the-world face. The expression he wore most of the time when I was sick.

2. What really catches my attention is what I don’t see. No pity. No pain. No grief.

3. I feel my smile slip from my eyes, my lips, and fall completely off my face. I know the look he sees in my eyes is probably the same pity-filled expression I saw in his seconds ago.

4. And there’s nothing in his voice, his eyes, or his expression that says he’s lying.

Accidentally Hexed, Angela Hicks, 3-time Immersion Grad, 1 in Denver, 2 in Dallas

1. Blake’s eyes cut to me. His razor sharp gaze sliced off a layer of my confidence.

2.  Liam looked like a man who just found out all the strippers were over thirty. And had kids.

3.  Tiffany had a smile that could bring grown men to their knees and lure them within reach of her fangs.

Wow! Wow! Wow!

Readers won’t think about their laundry when reading these lines.

I’m impressed with all of these Immersion grads. They learned so many deep edit techniques and tips and systems that helped them make their writing fresh and strong.

But not too fresh. No speed bumps. Just the right amount of freshness and power.

Want to learn more?

Check out Empowering Characters Emotions, an online course that’s taught in March by Becky Rawnsley. Her examples were the first in this blog. Stellar writing.

BLOG GUESTS:  Thank you so much for dropping by the blog today.

Please post a comment or share a ‘Hi Margie!” and you’ll have two chances to be a winner. You could win a Lecture Packet from me, or an online class from Lawson Writer’s Academy (valued up to $100)

Lawson Writer’s Academy – March Classes

1. Fab 30: Advanced Deep Editing, A Master Class

March 4 thru May 31, Instructor: Margie Lawson (limit 30 students)

2. Two-Week Intensive: Potent Pitches and Brilliant Blurbs

Instructor: Suzanne Purvis

3.  Empowering Characters' Emotions

Instructor: Becky Rawnsley Teaching Margie Lawson’s Course

4.  First Five Pages, Instructor: Laura Drake

5. Writing Compelling Scenes, Instructor: Shirley Jump

6.  Giving Your Chapters a PulseInstructor: Rhay Christou

7. Navigating the Tightrope between Historical Fact and Historical Fiction,

Instructor: Anne Mateer

8.  Mastering Evernote, Instructor: Lisa Norman

Please drop by my website to read course descriptions: www.MargieLawson.com

I’ll draw names for the TWO WINNERS on Sunday night, at 7PM, Mountain Time and post them in the comments section.

Like this bog? Share with your friends. Give it a social media boost. Thank you.

I love, love, love blogging for WITS. A trillion hugs and THANK YOUs to the brilliant WITS gals.

* * * * * *

About Diana

A late bloomer as a fiction writer, Diana Clark is a much-published former editor and historian who lives and works in Mazatlán, Mexico. It was her love of history, specifically Latin American history, that led to her Points South series, which examines the turbulent 1970s and 1980s in Chile, Argentina, and Central America through novels. Some titles include Stolen, Tapestries, Song of Despair, and, most recently, The Long Game.

She admits to another longtime love, Latin American and Spanish protest music of the 60s and 70s. This interest has taken her to Spain, Portugal, Argentina, Chile, Uruguay, Cuba, and Mexico, where she’s interviewed cantautores (singers/songwriters), whose songs are still performed today.

Top Image by Prettysleepy from Pixabay

About Margie

Margie Lawson—editor and international presenter—loves to have fun. And teaching writers how to use her deep editing techniques to create page-turners is her kind of fun.

She’s presented over 120 full day master classes in the U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and France, as well as taught multi-day intensives on cruises in the Caribbean.

To learn about Margie’s 5-day Immersion Master Classes (in 2019, in Palm Springs, Denver, Dallas, Cleveland, Columbus, Kansas City, Atlanta, and in Sydney, Melbourne, and Bellebrae, Australia), Cruising Writers cruises, full day and weekend workshops, keynote speeches, online courses, lecture packets, and newsletter, please visit: www.margielawson.com

See you on the blog!

Photo credit (top): AbsolutVision, Pixabay

123 responses to “Putting Fresh Faces on the Page!”

  1. Laura Drake says:

    I love these reminders - gentle nudges from Margie - to pay attention to the details, because readers do! Miss you, Margie!

    • Hugs to 2-time Immersion Grad Laura Drake!

      When you learn my deep edit techniques, writing fresh isn't hard.

      And you know them. Fresh writing is on your pages!

  2. Shelley says:

    Great examples and reminders of show don't tell!

  3. DLWillette says:

    Hi Margie! Love those fresh examples. My creative mind is churning ...

    • Hello D.L. --

      I love to churn creativity!

      My blogs provide a teensy taste of what I teach. Glad you liked the appetizer. So much more to learn in my courses and lecture packets!

  4. M. Lee Scott says:

    Margie, as always, your blogs explode off the page and fill our minds with fresh thoughts. Becky's class is the bomb and a direct hit on my writing style.

    • Hello M. Lee Scott!

      You wrote:

      Margie, as always, your blogs explode off the page and fill our minds with fresh thoughts.

      THANK YOU!

      Becky's class is the bomb and a direct hit on my writing style.


      Becky Rawnsley teaches my courses so well. Everyone learns how to make their writing stronger -- and has fun too!

      EVERYONE -- Becky starts teaching Empowering Characters' Emotions on March 4th!

  5. Jenny Hansen says:

    BOOM, look at all these faces! I love the way these authors did this (particularly Becky and Dana). And you know how you asked me to send you a face thing? Here is the face example I was too insane to give you:

    "And finally, the real tears came. The ugly ones that turn your face into a chewed-up dog toy."

  6. Fantastic--drew me right into the stories...and the shuffling-my-feet-awkwardly realization I have got a TON of work to do on my work in progress. Wonderful!

    • Hello Louise --

      Louise Wrote: Fantastic--drew me right into the stories...and the shuffling-my-feet-awkwardly realization I have got a TON of work to do on my work in progress. Wonderful!

      Love your hyphenated-run-on. Fresh and fun and true!

      I don't believe I've seen you reply to one of my blogs on WITS. You may be new to what I teach.

      I'm a psychologist, and I developed lots of deep editing techniques and systems and checklists for writers. What I teach helps writers how to be strategic with style and structure.

      How to be strategic about what they put on the page.

      My goal is to help them make their writing smooth and clear and fresh. And carry just the right amount of power for that scene.

      I created Lawson Writer's Academy, an online academy with 30+ instructors. We offer six to eight online classes each month.

      I hope you take a few minutes and check it out on my website.

      Since you said you had a TON of work to do on your WIP -- I recommend Empowering Characters' Emotions. It's a course I developed. It runs March 4 - 30.

      If you have questions, feel free to contact me through my website, or on Facebook.

      Thank for your time!

  7. Great post and AMAZING examples! Someone please tell me which course to take or what book to read to be able to do THAT! Facial expressions are the hardest for me.

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Dani, you need to go to http://www.margielawson.com. You can get her big three in lecture packets if you don't want to wait for them to happen on the schedule:

      1. Empowering Character Emotions
      2. EDITS system
      3. Writing Dialogue Cues Like a Psychologist

    • Hello Dani --

      Love your enthusiasm!

      Thanks for Jenny Hansen for sharing info about my BIG THREE courses. She almost got the titles right. 🙂

      1. Empowering Character Emotions
      2. Deep Editing, Rhetorical Devices, and More
      3. Writing Body Language and Dialogue Cues Like a Psychologist

      Here's what I just shared in my reply above yours:

      I'm a psychologist, and I developed lots of deep editing techniques and systems and checklists for writers. What I teach helps writers how to be strategic with style and structure.

      How to be strategic about what they put on the page.

      My goal is to help them make their writing smooth and clear and fresh. And carry just the right amount of power for that scene.

      I created Lawson Writer's Academy, an online academy with 30+ instructors. We offer six to eight online classes each month.

      I hope you take a few minutes and check it out on my website.


      I recommend taking the online course Empowering Characters' Emotions first. It's a course I developed. It runs March 4 - 30.

      Then you'd be ready for my other two BIG THREE courses.

      If you have questions, feel free to contact me through my website, or on Facebook.

      I'm so glad you read the blog!

  8. Hi, Margie! Love, love, love all these examples. Miss you. Someday my life will settle down and I'll be at another immersion.

    • Hello Immersion Grad Lynette --

      I STILL remember your story from Immersion -- in 2013.

      SHEESH. It's been FOREVER since I've seen you. But your story hooked me and stuck in my mind from that long ago.

      I'm teaching an Immersion class in Kansas City this year or in early 2020. Still figuring out dates. Hope you can join us!

  9. Margie, you and your examples always make my brain sizzle like a lit sparkler's in there! Thanks for the inspiration. And the ignition. And, always, the immersion.

    • Hello Immersion Grad Chris!

      Fabulous to cyber-see you here!

      Your post is so well written. Love the compelling cadence -- and the sizzle!

      Can't wait to work with you again. Hopefully -- this year!

  10. Caroline says:

    As usual great examples to analyse, think about and transfer that knowledge to our wip, making it that much better. Thank you!

    • Hello Caroline --

      Thank you!

      I'm curious. Have you taken any of my online courses? Or completed a lecture packet, only $22?

      If so, you know my blogs share a tiny teaser of what I teach in one course. So many more deep editing goodies in each class.

      Just had to share... And nudge. You'd be smart to check them out!

  11. John Timm says:

    Some great writing here!

    • Hello John --

      Yes! All Margie grads can write fresh. Just as fresh and perfectly cadenced as the examples I used in this blog.

      I hope you have a chance to check out my BIG THREE courses on my website.

      Empowering Characters' Emotions starts March 4th! Maybe?

      Thanks for dropping by the blog.

  12. Becky Rawnsley says:

    Hi Margie!! Thank you for sharing all those awesome examples...and such fun to see some of mine there!! Pretty much everything I know about fresh writing came from your classes - you are my guiding star 🙂 Missing you!! And sending hugs!

    • Hello 2-time Immersion Grad Becky!

      Ah... Thank you. I love being your guiding star. Guiding you is as easy as it is fun.

      Your writing is so strong. The tough part is deciding which examples to share.

      I wish we lived closer than the 4,470 miles from Denver to Cumbria, England. But -- maybe I'll get to visit you in 2020! I may be going to Hay-on-Wye Wales next year. Only 225 miles from you!

      • Becky Rawnsley says:

        Margie - that would be so exciting!! Hope you come to Hay-on-Wye, and hope you get to visit us in the Lake District too!!

  13. All really good examples. Thanks for delivering a great deal to think about. Also, good timing as I am in the throes of a rewrite.

    • Hello James --

      Margie grads know how to write fresh!

      Ah -- You're rewriting.

      Hope you take a few minutes, click over to my website, and read the description for my online course, Empowering Characters' Emotions. You'd give your WIP a boost!

  14. Great examples, Margie! Thank you. I'm inspired to go back to the WIP and write some fresh faces!

  15. Sheri Humphreys says:

    What inspiring examples. I just went one-clicking! Thank you, Margie.

    • Hello 2-time Immersion Grad Sheri H --

      Thanks for sharing your examples!

      I know you'll love DRAWN and BURIED by Dana Summers. Fresh writing, perfectly themed, compellingly cadenced, served with a big scoop of humor.

  16. Winona says:

    As usual, I've learned from Margie. I've saved the blog, as a matter-of-fact I have a dedicated place just for her.

    Who knew gnats had tiny dicks?

    • Hello Immersion Grad Winona --

      Great to see you here!

      Ah -- You're smart to save the blog.

      Becky Rawnsley's gnat's dick line was crazy-funny and fit her character and scene perfectly. And it's a memorable line too!

  17. Jamison Zelinko says:

    Love the examples! I definitely need to work on this in my writing and will be referencing this post from now on. Thanks!

    • Hello Jamison --

      Glad you'll reference my blog. But my online courses are loaded with lots of deep editing techniques and systems and checklists. And hundreds of examples. Deep edit analyzed, of course.

      The blog was five pages. My online courses are a couple hundred pages of lectures.

      I hope you don't think I'm being pushy. I'm just sharing info -- so you'll know.

      Now you know.

      If you have questions, please contact me through my website, or on Facebook. I'll be happy to help.

  18. Allison Collins says:

    Hi, Margie! Your Immersions have been the best investment in my writing career! You've taught me to write fresh and impactful, how to edit the words to get the most bang out of the firecracker. Facial expressions are one of the most difficult things to write. I’ve learned how to write them so they are fresh and get the point across in an interesting way. Words make up the story, but the RIGHT words make the story so vivid it leaps off the page and into the readers' hearts.

    Thank you, Margie, for all your brilliance! Can't wait for the next Immersion!

    • Hugs to 2-time Immersion Grad Allison Collins!

      Wow! Thank you, thank you!

      You know I love helping writers make their writing strong. I've loved working with you in 2 Immersion classes, and I'm excited you're coming to your third Immersion. See you in June!

  19. littlemissw says:

    This is brilliant, as usual. All the examples were great but this one was my favourite:

    Liam looked like a man who just found out all the strippers were over thirty. And had kids.

    Made me laugh out loud. 😀

    • Hello Little Miss W --

      Great to see you on WITS again. Hope you're taking advantage of all you can learn in my online courses. I could be using your examples here.

      That was a smiling nudge. I just love helping writers make their writing strong.

      That stripper example from Angela Hicks made me laugh out loud too!

      Margie Grads are brilliant writers!

  20. Brynn Spears says:

    Thank you, Margie, for posting these. I'm in the middle of edits. These examples are good reminders for me to watch out for the bland and the blah. I particularly loved Becky's example: Beverell’s smile is thinner than a gnat’s dick. It tells me so much, not just about Beverell, but the POV character. And, just importantly, it made me smile.

    • Hugs to 2-time Immersion Grad Brynn Spears --

      Glad you'll watch out for the bland and the blah!

      I know your writing is super strong. I remember your writing and your stories from all the online courses and two Immersion classes you've taken.

      Dig in, dig deep, and have fun deep editing!

    • Hello Immersion Grad Nancy Warren --

      Becky Rawnsley wrote that gnat's dick line. She's not published yet, but she'll be querying soon.

      I loved your writing and deep editing in Immersion. I bet this blog, and your big Immersion folder will provide the motivation and boost you need!

  21. Nancy Warren says:

    3. Beverell’s smile is thinner than a gnat’s dick. OMG, that one made me howl. It's hard to make facial expressions fresh. These are great.

    • Hello Immersion Grad Nancy Warren --

      Becky Rawnsley wrote that gnat's dick line. She's not published yet, but she'll be querying soon.

      I loved your writing and deep editing in Immersion. I bet this blog, and your big Immersion folder will provide the motivation and boost you need!

  22. Elena Paige says:

    Wow these are so fresh and enticing! It’s amazing how my brain just “gets” what each one is really saying in a fraction of a second compared to when it’s written plain Jane way. They’re so good! Thanks Margie for the awesome reminder to pick up my game.

    • Hello Immersion Grad Elena Paige from Melbourne!

      I had the best time getting to know you and working with you in Immersion class. Loved your writing and your stories and your characters.

      So glad you clicked in and read the blog. Have fun digging into deep editing. Your examples could be here next time!

  23. Angela Hicks says:

    There are so many great lines here!

    I'm getting ready to do the Enduro Immersion and I'm really looking forward to it! I always learn interesting and creative new ways to write. Taking Margie's classes is the best thing I've done for my writing career. Thank you for the great examples and the fabulous teaching, Margie!

  24. Steena Holmes says:

    Perfect timing!!! I was writing a line and made myself put on my Margie hat... my ‘Mom smiled’ turned into:

    Mom’s smile is sharper than Dad’s treasured switchblade.

    Ouch, right??

  25. Ja'Nese says:

    I'm a babe at all this writing goodness. But the more I write and work to apply the techniques I learned in immersion, the more I exercise the power of words like a masterful magician. I'm ready for round two, and to get more of my examples in your packets. lol Thanks Margie!

    • Hugs to Immersion Grad Ja'Nese Dixon --

      You did well. You have examples in this blog. Good for you!

      Can't wait to work with you in your second Immersion class in Dallas in June. Immersion is such fun work!

  26. Shellah says:

    Great info as always! Thank you 🙂

  27. All the fresh examples always amaze me. I've had the pleasure of partnering with some of these writers in various LWA classes, and boy the hard work and talent is definitely front and center in all their work.

    • Hello Erin P --

      I'm loving working with you in the Visceral Rules class too!

      You know deep editing doesn't usually fall on the page in the first draft. 🙂

      But when writers learn my tips and techniques and checklists, it's a lot easier to write fresh.

      Thanks so much for dropping by the blog.

  28. i always look forward to your posts because they're full of helpful writing tips that are as fresh as the examples you provide.

  29. L.D. Rose says:

    I always look forward to your posts, Margie! Thanks to the authors for sharing these great lines. <3

  30. Hi Margie. Another great post. Love the examples.

  31. Mary Birk says:

    Great post! I always learn so much!

  32. Oh, I wish I could write as fresh as this! So intriguing!

    • Hello Traci --

      You can write this fresh. You'll learn how in my online courses.

      The first of my BIG THREE courses is Empowering Characters' Emotions. It starts March 4th.

      Think about it. Click over to my website -- http://bit.ly/LWAClasses -- and read the course description. If you have questions, feel free to contact me through my website.

      You'll learn how to write fresh!

  33. Jenny Hansen says:

    Margie, I was gone all day and came back to ten comments waiting. TEN! That's a lot of love in our pending folder. So...you'll want to do a quick run from the top, just to be sure.

  34. Mary Karlik says:

    I loved this blog post. And really Becky Rawssley's example had me rolling!

  35. Mary Chase says:

    Love being inspired by all the great examples. Thanks Margie and authors!

    • Hugs to Cruise Grad Mary Chase!

      I'm having a great time working with you in Visceral Rules class.Such a great mix of smart writers, all committed to excellence.

      And -- I get to work with you online in Fab 30 for 3 months! Lots more learning opps ahead!

      Thanks for dropping by the blog!

  36. S Thomas says:

    Hi Margie! These examples were fantastic...I loved them all!

    • Hello S Thomas --

      Thanks for chiming in. Glad you loved the examples. Me too!

      The toughest part is deciding which examples to share. I have thousands of stellar examples from Margie Grads. I'm so proud of my writers!

  37. Dana Summers says:

    Loved the blog post Margie! Always great examples!

    • Hello Immersion Grad Dana Summers --

      Your writing is soooo strong! I love using your examples. And the ones in this blog hooked a lot of readers! Can't wait until your next release!

  38. cjackson101 says:

    HEY Margie. Great post and now I'm re-inspired. And thanks for the image of a gnat's dick.

  39. Deb Atwood says:

    Great post, Margie! Love these examples. In fact, I loved them so much I just bought Drawn and Buried.

    • Hello Deb --

      So great working with you in Visceral Rules class!

      Ah -- You're going to get trapped in DRAWN AND BURIED. You can blame Dana Summers' talent for your lost sleep. 😉

      Thanks for posting!

  40. Margie knows what works, and she knows how to teach it. Many of the best writers I've worked with are Margie grads.Taking a class from LWA is one of the best investments you will make in your career. And you'll have fun besides!

  41. More lovely examples for us to learn from. Thanks, Margie!

  42. andreagrigg says:

    Oh, I love these examples! Totally inspiring. Can't get enough of your teaching, Margie!

  43. Hello James --

    Margie grads know how to write fresh!

    Ah -- You're rewriting.

    Hope you take a few minutes, click over to my website, and read the description for my online course, Empowering Characters' Emotions. You'd give your WIP a boost!

  44. Jackie Rod says:

    Margie, you are amazing. Every time I read your blogs on writing tips I learn something new. I don't know how you keep finding new ways to make our writing better.

  45. Debra Jiles says:

    Hi Margie, another great blog as usual. I'm actually taking your on-line class now (Scene and Sequel)

    • Hello Immersion Grad Debra --

      It's been too long since I've seen you!

      Bet you're loving the Superpowered Writing Tool: Scene and Sequel class taught by Kathleen Baldwin.

      I used examples from her in the blog too!

  46. Catherine J Hudson says:

    Fresh, fresh, fresh! Thank you so much as always, Margie, for reminding us to keep our writing from becoming blah. Loved these wonderful examples 🙂

    • Hello 2-time Immersion Grad Catherine Hudson --

      I know your writing. And you work to make it make-Margie-smile strong.

      Okay -- That sentence has two makes. Good thing it's not in print. 🙂

      Miss you!

  47. Kristin Meachem says:

    Always love reading your examples and analysis Margie!

    • Hugs to 3-time Immersion Grad Kristin Meachem --

      I always love your fresh writing. And I use your examples in every class I teach.

      Hope to see you when I'm in Melbourne sometime between mid-October and mid-November!

  48. Sandra says:

    Hi Margie, Another great article with excellent and inspiring examples!

  49. Karen Whalen says:

    Examples that energize! Thanks Margie.

  50. Barb Heintz says:

    Hi, Margie, These are great posts, I would sure love to win one of these packages. I need a writing boost.

  51. Tania Joyce says:

    Great reminder to write fresh. I love the examples. Always great to get my brain working on my own fresh writing.

    • Hello Immersion Grad Tania from Brisbane --

      You are so fun and creative and driven. I loved working with you in Immersion.

      Hope I get to see you when I'm Down Under mid-October thru mid-November!

  52. Debra Getts says:

    Thanks, Margie. And look at that March schedule 🙂

  53. Pam Stewart says:

    Hi Margie! Miss you!

    • Hello Immersion Grad Pam Stewart --

      I remember your story and your writing from Immersion class in 2014. Both STRONG.

      That's at least 20 million stories back. Maybe a touch of hyperbole there. But not much. 🙂

      Miss you too. Come see me!

  54. Cheri Patton says:

    I miss you already, Margie! It’s only been a couple weeks, but I’m ready for Immersion #3!

  55. Jennifer August says:

    Hi Margie. As always, love these stellar examples of how to keep the writing fresh. Thank you for sharing!

    • Hello Jennifer August --

      Thank you!

      I have to ask... Have we met? Somehow I know you live in Dallas. Right? Hmm...

      If we haven't met, hope I get to meet you someday.



    Love this crowd!

    A big lovey THANK YOU to the WITS gals for inviting me to guest blog. I always have the best time here.

    And another big lovey THANK YOU to the Immersion Grads who wrote the examples I shared in this blog. Brilliant.

    I just clicked over to RANDOM.ORG -- and found our TWO WINNERS!

    They both happen to be Immersion Grads.

    The WINNER of a Lecture Packet is..................Brynn Spears!

    The WINNER of an online class is.....................Catherine Hudson!

    Congratulations to Brynn and Catherine!

    Thanks to EVERYONE for visiting WRITERS IN THE STORM, and reading my blog.

    I'll be back blogging on WITS, March 22nd.

    See you then, or before then!

    All smiles...........Margie


    If you want to learn how to write fresh like the examples in this blog, do what those writers did.

    They all took Empowering Characters' Emotions. Followed by my Deep Editing, and Writing Body Language classes.

    Empowering Characters' Emotions.starts March 4th.

    Drop by my website -- https://www.margielawson.com/ -- click on Lawson Writer's Academy, and you're there!

    If you have questions about online courses offered through Lawson Writer's Academy, please ask. You can contact me through my website, or Facebook message me.

    Thank you again for reading my blog.

    All smiles............Margie

  58. dholcomb1 says:

    loved the examples--thank you for sharing. it all helps in crafting writing.


  59. dallenco says:

    The gnat made me laugh too! Love all the examples. They always inspire me!

  60. Monica Tillery says:

    Loved the examples...and feel compelled to go over my ms with fresh eyes! I especially liked how you added that we need fresh writing, but not too fresh. It's a fine line, and it takes a deft hand. Thanks, Margie!


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