The Art of Clear Conversations

By Sandy Vaile

Dialogue in fiction stories is a reliable way of bringing characters to life and immersing readers in their lives, but for it to be effective, it needs to be understood. As Michel de Montaigne said in his essay, On the Art of Conversation, “The most fruitful and natural exercise of the mind … is conversation.” It stimulates thinking, engages facial expressions and has the magic to convey complex ideas to others. In fact, we were communicating verbally long before we decided to write down ideas.

Engaging conversations that add value to narration, need to:

• Make it clear who is speaking to whom;
• Use succinct and authentic language;
• Compliment the surrounding narrative; and
• Be correctly formatted and punctuated.

Dialogue definition - For the purposes of fiction, it is any words that are spoken aloud by a character, which support what is going on in the plot.

It doesn’t include private thoughts, dreams or narration.

Make it Clear Who is Speaking

It’s important that readers can easily determine who is speaking, so they can follow the conversation and don’t get the wrong impression of what’s going on in the story. Ambiguity can lead to misinterpretation, but this can be prevented by:

• Separating the speech and actions of each character into different paragraphs.
• Not going too long without a dialogue tag to establish who is speaking.

Clear paragraph deliniation

The dialogue (and attached narration) for one character must be put into a separate paragraph.

Clear dialogue tags

Dialogue tag definition – The words that frame dialogue (just before, in the middle of or after it), which identify the speaker and provide context for what’s being said.

Here are some tips for using dialogue tags effectively:

• Don’t wait too long to identify the speaker. If the dialogue is long and it’s not immediately clear who is speaking, then interrupt it early on to slip in their name or another way of identifying them.
• If it’s clear who’s speaking, you don’t need to have a tag on every line. This is especially true when there are only two people having a conversation and it’s easy to keep track of for a few lines.
• Often the simplest tag, like he/she said, is best because a reader’s mind will naturally skip over it. Going overboard with adverbs and unnecessary actions can be distracting. You can always enhance it with cues to how they feel about the conversation. Often adverbs can be avoided with a little effort to find a stronger verb. For example:

“How dare you,” Jane said indignantly. [‘Indignantly’ is the adverb, which is telling readers how this character feels.]

“How dare you!” Jane snapped, a tide of angry red rising up her neck and cheeks. [‘Snapped’ is a stronger verb that tells readers how Jane spoke, and then I’ve added a description of what her physical reaction looks like to the Point of View character.

• Vary the type of dialogue tag you use (e.g. he said, actions and narration) so they don’t become repetative.

You can also use thoughts, actions, body language, facial expressions and thoughts by the Point of View character in the surrounding narration, to not only make it clear who is speaking, but how they feel about it and what else they’re doing. For example:

“Um, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His face flushed and gaze darted towards the exit.

“Like hell,” Jane said, stalking towards him with clenched fists.

• Minimise narrative and tags before dialogue because it detracts from the key information and speed readers may miss it.

How to handle multiple speakers

Of course, things become more complicated when there are three or more characters participating in a conversation. When there’s a crowd:

• You will need more dialogue tags to help readers identify who is speaking, but mix up the type of tag, so you’re not saying he said/she said all the time. For instance, also use actions, body language and facial expressions to show how they are reacting to what’s being said.
• Consider whether all of those characters really need to be involved. Can fewer characters present the same information? Does each one have somethig valuable to contribute or are they just there filling the room?
• You can sometimes move the Point of View character’s attention to the speaker physically or through their thoughts.

Correctly Format and Punctuate Dialogue

Joining dialogue tags

Dialogue should only be joined to a tag with a comma if the tag is something that can actually be said, e.g. he said, she whispered, he yelled, she mumbled.

“Hey, Dan, wait up a minute,” Jenny called as she jogged across the oval. [‘Called’ is something spoken.]

If the tag can’t be said, then you must use a full stop to separate them, e.g. he grunted, she waved, he chewed on his lip, she glanced around the room.

“Gosh, I didn’t expect to see you here.” Dan stopped walking and smiled. [‘Stopping’, ‘walking’ and ‘smiling’ aren’t something that can be spoken.]

Punctuation

The punctuation related to dialogue goes inside the quotation marks, except when em dashes are used like brackets for non-spoken narrative that breaks dialogue (see the example below), or the tag is situated before the dialogue.

Tag before – Sally called across the oval, “Hang on a minute, Dan.”

Tag after – “Hang on a minute, Dan,” Sally called across the oval.

Tag in the middle – “Hang on a minute, Dan,” Sally called across the oval. “I need to talk to you.”

Tag in the middle – “Hang on a minute,” Sally called across the oval, “I need to explain.”

Capitalisation

When dialogue commences at the beginning of a sentence, captialise it, even if there was a tag before it.

“A snake just slithered behind the shed.”

Sally said, “A snake just slithered behind the shed.”

Tags that are joined to dialogue with a comma because they can be spoken, are not capitalised unless they are a proper noun; even if the dialogue ends with an exclamatioin or question mark.

“A snake just slithered behind the shed,” said Sally.

“A snake just slithered behind the shed,” Sally said.

“A snake just slithered behind the shed. What do you think we should do?” said Sally.

Quotes within quotes

When quoting someone within dialogue, use a different style of quotation mark, e.g. if you’re using double quote marks, then change to single, or if you’re using single quote marks, change to double.

“Look, I specifically heard Mum say, ‘Don’t go to that party,’ and you still went.”

‘Look, I specifically heard Mum say, “Don’t go to that party,” and you still went.’

When interrupting the flow of dialogue:

• Refer back to the above rule about whether it can be spoken and therefore be joined by a comma. If not, separate it using a full stop or em dash. For example:

“I just can’t believe I forgot to bring it,” Sally said. “I even wrote a note to remind me.”

“I just can’t believe I forgot to bring it,” Sally said, “after writing a note and everything.”

“I just can’t believe I fogot to bring it,” —Sally was flustered as she searched her handbag for the offending envelope— “after writing a note and everything.

• An ellipsis ( … ) signifies that words are missing, i.e. when speech trails off, and goes inside the quotation marks.
• An em dash ( — ) signifies speech is cut off, i.e. when someone interrupts it, and goes inside the quotation marks.
• A hyphen signifies stilted speech, like stuttering, e.g. “I h-h-haven’t seen it, honest.”

When you have a long passage of dialogue:

• There might occasionally be instances where you have a very long amount of dialogue from one character, and this can look cramped on the page. You can break it into paragraphs without breaking the dialogue.

“[Paragraph of dialogue that will continue in the next paragraph has no closing quotaion marks.]

“[Each subsequent paragraph of dialogue has opening quotation marks.]

“[The final paragraph of dialogue has closing quotation marks.]”

A couple of warnings

• Breaking up dialogue too often or with large sections of narration can cause its message to be disjointed, and will slow the pace.
• Beware of overusing names in the dialogue, because this sounds unrealistic, e.g.:

“Hi Sally, it’s great to see you.”

“You too Jane. How has your week been?”

“Fabulous, Sally.”

• When using dialogue to reveal information, like backstory, make sure it is relevant to what’s going on in the narration and doesn’t sound forced. For example:

“Hi Jane. As you know I’m a horse-riding instructor and got my certificate in 2015. What do you do for a living?” [Awkward. People just don’t talk to one another like that.]

But look at the same information revealed using a more conversational tone:

Jane picked up the photo of a younger Emily atop an impressive black horse. “Wow, I didn’t know you rode.”

“For years.” Emily said. “Actually, I’m a riding instructor. Got my certificate just last year. What do you do for a crust?”

Bonus Tip for Quotation Marks

I recommend authors use double quotation marks (“) no matter where they are planning to submit their work, because it provides flexibility.

It’s easy to use the Find and Replace function to replace all double quotation marks with singles. However, if you have used single quotation marks, the Find feature will pick up all of the apostrophes too, so you’ll have to manually change each one. Tedious!

Your fiction stories will ultimately benefit from succinct, purposeful, authentic and well-formatted dialogue, because those things enable readers to easily understand what’s being said, by whom. They also bring the narrative to life by immersing readers in characters’ lives and moving the plot forwards.

If you are stuck in a rut of writing novels you never finish, never submit or aren’t sure how to fix, then it’s your lucky day. I’m offering WITS readers the opportunity to get professional guidance about the next best steps to move their writing forwards, from an industry professional.

Book a time in Sandy’s diary here.

What dialog punctuation problems have you encountered? How did you solve it?

About Sandy 

Sandy Vaile is a traditionally published author, writing romantic-suspense for Simon & Schuster US, with more than a decade of experience in the industry, who empowers authors to write novels they are proud to share with the world (and which get noticed by agents, publishers and readers), through coaching, courses and developmental editing.

Sandy is also a motorbike-riding daredevil who isn’t content with a story unless there’s a courageous heroine and a dead body. Living in the McLaren Vale wine region means lots of prosseco and cheese platters in her down time.

Connect with Sandy Vaile on her website or social media.

Image Credits:

Top image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Dialog Formatting sheets by Sandy Vaile

by Amy Winters-Voss

As creatives, we feel the push to keep producing and hustle culture says we always have to be as productive as possible. 

When the finish line is on the horizon, those tasks we have yet to do multiply like rabbits. And we have a hard time saying “no” when others ask for help or to join in on a group activity, thinking we can stack one more project on our plates and keep balancing everything. After we complete a project, we don’t feel we have time to celebrate and just jump into the next one. Each deadline looms, a specter on the horizon. Fans ask when the next book is coming out. And people always want assistance with their writing and creative projects.

But we aren’t machines. We burnout. What does that mean? The American Psychological Association says burnout is:

“physical, emotional, or mental exhaustion accompanied by decreased motivation, lowered performance, and negative attitudes toward oneself and others. It results from performing at a high level until stress and tension, especially from extreme and prolonged physical or mental exertion or an overburdening workload, take their toll.”

Your body can only take so much

Jessica from How to ADHD quoted her research consultant saying that “Our bodies are not designed to run from a bear everyday” as she described what happens when we work under the gun long term.

When the adrenaline and cortisol are gone, there’s a crash. Sometimes a hard one, leading to feeling lost and even depressed. Anxiety can kick in, because of the rush to get to the point we need for our careers. 

I’ve heard it said people will often jump right into the next big project, so they don’t have to face the post push blues. But our bodies, minds, emotions, and even our souls need the reset—the refresh—to remember what calm is like.

If you don’t listen to your body and the warning signs of burnout, chronic stress can lead to being sick more often, depression, heart disease, insomnia, and many more health issues. Always pushing hard uses up your ability to make good choices. A common one I’ve seen is spending too much on eating out because we don’t have the energy to cook.

My story

I volunteer often and like to have several interesting projects at once so I can hop between them. But filling my to-do list plate to the point it was impossible to keep up was becoming the norm. Eventually, I realized I couldn’t be the answer to every need. I’m learning to say “no”, so more people can help and feel the joy of being there for others.

I’ve also found that I don’t recognize the signs of burnout until I’m pretty deep in it and feel a strong need to withdraw for a while. Knowing I can only handle so much gives me the opportunity to plan rest times.

For example, after last year I had to slow down. I went from one tough project to another starting in July 2022 until May 2023. Those months were crazy! I was dealing with the editing, release and promo of my second book, being in the leadership for a very active online writing game, supporting people after a stressful parting of ways in an author group, replacing several expensive things for our house and family, an anniversary trip to japan and ensuring my kids who weren’t coming along would have what they needed in an emergency, my youngest graduating, my husband traveling more for his job, and supporting my eldest as he worked through whether or not going back to college was the right choice for him, and more!

Needless to say, I was frazzled (mentally, emotionally, and physically) by the end! But I knew myself well enough to expect the crash and planned ahead for recovery time.

What is Self-Care?

On the surface, it’s easy—doing what you need to maintain yourself so you can be your best. Usually self-care allows you to mentally and physically step away from whatever your stressor is. But these things feel like a luxury and are often the first to go when we’re under the gun. 

During events like NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), I’ve seen writers skip sleep, forget to eat and drink, and push their hands so hard they can’t type anymore. None of that helps an author be at their best.

I’ll encourage you to find ways to step away from your stressors for a while and try to find at least some balance. Self-care areas you might want to look at include physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, professional, and social care.

Remember, not everyone views self-care the same way. We have different needs. Guys may be drawn to try different self-care ideas than gals. It’s ok. The important part is stepping away from the push and doing something to renew you.

Need a few ideas to get started? Consider exercise (even a simple walk to take in the world around you), yoga, meditation, stepping away from social media for a while, hobbies, listening to music, reading, or napping. For me, yarn crafts with their simple repetitive motion help me process overwhelm. You know the t-shirt that says, “I knit so I don’t kill people”? There’s truth to that! 😉

Planning ahead

Before taking on a big project or stepping away from putting out content for a while, consider what you can do ahead of time to lessen your stress.

Content for Readers

Ensure you’re not overbooking yourself. Keep your project list smaller, if possible. “On Substack” had a post with several ideas about how to ensure you have content for blogs and social media during a big push where you need to step back or simply take time off. Ideas they listed that were particularly good included asking for guest or cross posts and re-running your popular or favorite articles.

Planning Ahead

It will be tempting to skip aspects of self-care during stressful times and when that deadline is looming. But doing what you can beforehand can help. 

Food is a big one where people skimp. Here are some ideas I’ve used.

• Prep or stash easy to cook items in the freezer or plan dump and go meals for the crock pot or instant pot.
• Cut down on the number of times you cook by making a bigger batch or instituting a leftovers night.
• Have prepped fruits and veggies ready to eat or try frozen ones.
• Ask your family to help with meal prep and dishes.
• Leave vitamins and meds on the table so you remember them.
• Order groceries online if the store feels overwhelming. Even just picking them up can save time and energy.

Prepping for routines can help too. Feel free to try these.

• Set out items to help with your routines. I hang a stack of washcloths over the shower door because I often forget to grab one before hopping in. Then I’m set for several days.
• Make a plan for what you want to do the next day. Keep the list short, 3-5 things if possible and eliminate anything that doesn’t absolutely have to be done. Time blocking can help organize your tasks for the day so you don’t get squirreled.
• Have a water/drink bottle with you to help you avoid dehydration.
• Stretch out cleaning by alternating weeks for tasks.
• Take a few deep breaths before starting your work for the day.
• Pick a time of the day to be done and stick to it.

Self-Care for when you’re under the gun

Last fall, I was pushing hard to finish my second book and an authors’ group I was heavily involved in had a falling out. That’s when I started knitting a blanket, a super simple pattern. At night, if I didn’t get to knit on it after a rough day, I’d feel jittery because I hadn’t had down time. I teasingly called it my stress blanket. Just knitting half an hour to an hour most nights during the crazy times allowed me to calm down and fall asleep.

Having something simple and relaxing to look forward to after the stress of the day can really help. Some people like crafts, to watch TV, read a book, or listen to music. Pick something to help your mind stop churning. 

It can also help to keep a small notebook, pen or pencil, and flashlight near your bed for those ideas that keep poking at your mind.

Recovery after a long haul

Years ago, I read the book Margin by Dr. Richard Swenson about putting space in our lives again timewise, emotionally, etc. to avoid being overloaded. It was a game changer. While I can’t say I’m perfect at making sure I’m not “taxed to the max” all the time, the lessons from it stuck long term.

So after my insane year and the end of May arrived, I was more than ready for a break. I’d planned at least a month to just slow down and explore what “normal” was again.

What to Expect

When you escape being under the gun all the time, you might feel a little lost and be tempted to jump into another project right away. I’m challenging you to give yourself space. Let your nervous system recover and breathe. Pick something completely different to do for a while.

For myself, I chose not to jump into writing book three immediately. Oh, I was tempted! Right after I released book two, people asked about the next one. It was awesome to hear! But I needed time to recover or I’d break. Anxiety was already creeping into everyday activities. Does that mean I’m not thinking about the third book? Nope. I can’t stop my brain from producing ideas. But as they occur, I stuff them away in a list for later.

For now I’m doing some worldbuilding. I’ve really missed it. Also, writing a “sleep story” has been on my agenda for a few months and it’s time to try my hand at it. This style of short, quiet tale helps my brain to stop churning so I can rest the night through. Additionally, I’m spending more time walking outside and playing RPGs with my gaming group. 

But I can’t slow down!

There are times when we need to keep pushing. I get it. But please respect yourself, your mind, and your body. Find ways to rest and take breaks—escaping a bit by listening to books, taking a long bath or shower, going for a walk, scheduling time at a retreat center, etc.

Wrapping Up

Always going full bore on projects will wear us down and burn us out. We need margin, space to breathe so we can recover before we’re ready to start another big push. Our sanity and our health are worth more than any project. 

So I’ll leave you with a question and invitation.

What is your favorite form of self-care? Feel free to share a self-care tip for busy times, too.

About Amy

Amy is the author of the Liminal Chronicles series, a mythological/urban fantasy set in small town Japan that focuses on social redemption and found family.She runs the vssCollab very short story challenge on Instagram, and Substack and publishes the best of the entries in the online zine--'In Threads'. Additionally, she founded the Anvilite Streamers Corps and streams her writing and crafts on Twitch.

Top photo by Max van den Oetelaar on Unsplash

by Laurie Schnebly Campbell

Whether you’re writing a coming-of-age story, a serial killer thriller, a quilting cozy, a paranormal epic, a historical romance, or a children’s bedtime story, you want there to be enough tension to keep readers eagerly turning pages.

Donald Maass observed that people do this when they’re seeking relief from some kind of “apprehension, anxiety, worry, question, or uncertainty.” That means, even if you don’t want to make seven-year-olds feel uneasy before bedtime, you still want to make them curious.

And you want to sustain that curiosity -- that tension -- throughout the entire story.

This is the kind of curiosity that generates movie reviews about keeping the audience on the edge of their seats. These people can’t take a break because:

They’ve gotta know what’ll happen!

Will the Vikings prevail against the ocean’s fiercest storm?

Will the jealous ex show up before the long-awaited kiss?

Will the killer overhear the hostage signaling for help?

As writers, we need to raise questions. Leaving those questions unanswered -- whether they’re small ones that’ll be resolved in another few pages or big ones whose resolution will take until the end of the book -- is guaranteed to create tension within your readers.

And they’ll love you for it. (Oscar Wilde said of a story he was enjoying, “The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.”)

Of course, the amount of tension will vary depending on your audience. Readers of different genres have different expectations regarding how much is over-the-top, and how little is yawn-worthy.

Keep in mind that the ultimate resolution of tension -- at which point your audience will feel satisfied even though they regret the story’s over -- has to wait until (yep) the end. Or very close to the end. Think of whatever question is resolved there as the dramatic focus of the story.

But this sure doesn’t need to be the ONLY source of tension in your book. You can pile on a whole lot more even while that big question is still pending. And if you’re not yet quite sure what your big question is:

Take a look at your genre.

If it’s a mystery, the question is generally “Will the mystery be solved?” (Justice is a nice outcome, as well, but that’s an even more prevalent question for legal thrillers: “Will justice be done?”)

If it’s a romance, the question is likely “Will they commit to living happily ever after?” For women’s fiction or coming-of-age, it’s pretty sure to be “Will this person come out better at the end?” For a thriller, “Will the good guys triumph?” And so on.

Since the answer to every one of those questions is almost always “Yes,” you might think it’d be difficult to sustain tension during the story. But the question your readers flat-out CAN’T answer (yet) is “How will this happen?”

So that’s what you need to answer as the story unfolds, bit by increasingly tense bit. Look at every scene and see how it contributes to the book’s (and the characters’) progress toward resolution. As long as they’re moving forward, it doesn’t matter -- in terms of building tension -- whether they succeed or fail in any given scene.

Sometimes things will turn out beautifully (until the next scene) and sometimes they’ll turn out horribly (until a few scenes later). Either way, you’re keeping your audience on the edge of their seats.

Because the best tension isn’t found in just a scene or two here and there.

It lasts even when things seem fine on the surface, with the characters happily roasting marshmallows in the park...because the reader still hasn’t gotten the ultimate reassurance that everything WILL be resolved.

That innate tension comes from your big Story Question.

And of course you can have dozens of smaller S.Q.s along the way, which will build even more tension. Not necessarily nail-biting, read-with-all-the-lights-on tension, but a sense of anticipation: what’s gonna HAPPEN?

We already know your character/s will have to struggle against something. Maybe it’s an enemy like the villain or the society they live in.

Maybe it’s an ally like their best friend, co-worker, parents, or team.

Maybe it’s a hostile environment, whether that’s nature or technology or the supernatural.

Maybe it’s themselves.

And it’s very likely more than just one of those entities. Anytime you’ve got uncertainty, you’ve got tension. Anytime you’ve got strain on the body, mind or heart, you’ve got tension. Anytime you’ve got a values conflict between or within people, you’ve got tension.

It’s a wonder anyone EVER gets a good night’s sleep, isn’t it? :)

But this is very handy for writers, because tension can arise from just about any situation. While your overall Story Question creates the longest arc, there can be all kinds of extra questions along the way that keep the tension building.

When you think of books that strike you as having an exquisite sense of tension, whether it’s “Will all life on earth be destroyed?” or “Will Jimmy win the blue ribbon?” you can usually see how this tension continued building throughout the story. And in fact, that leads to our:

Prize Drawing Question

What’s a book or scene that you remember as being especially good in terms of creating and/or building and/or sustaining tension? (There’s no wrong answer, because every reader has their own favorites.)

And somebody who comments will win free registration to “Tick... Tick... Building Tension,” an August 7-18 email class on doing exactly that. On Saturday evening I’ll have random dot org draw a name and post it waaaaay down at the end of the comments. How’s THAT for building tension? :)

About Laurie

After winning Romantic Times’ “Best Special Edition of the Year” over Nora Roberts, Laurie Schnebly Campbell discovered she loved teaching every bit as much as writing...if not more. Since then she’s taught online and live workshops including the one at groups.io/g/Tension, and keeps a special section of her bookshelves for people who’ve developed that particular novel in her classes. With 50+ titles there so far, she’s always hoping for more.