Writers in the Storm

By Barbara Linn Probst

The characters are fresh, the scenes are full of tension, and the story has come to a satisfying resolution. One step remains before you declare: Done. It’s that final check. You click on the little magnifying glass in the top right-hand corner of the page and search for over-used words.

Your mission: to find and eliminate.

You’re on the hunt for those unnecessary qualifiers (started to, seemed to, began to), attempts to create urgency (all of a sudden, just then), clichés, and personal pets.

“Personal pets” vary and thus can’t be found on a website. (That’s what makes them personal.) For me, they’re all those shrugs and nods and sighs—the lifting of shoulders and eyebrows, tightening of lips, dipping of chins, narrowing and widening of eyes—and any phrase that includes the word breath or pulse.

Your list may be different, but you have one. We all do.

“Search and destroy” will make your writing cleaner and more professional. However, that may not always be the right strategy.

When “Often-Used” Might Be Okay

There are times when an often-used word might not be an over-used word— its frequency signaling, instead, a recurring motif with hidden possibilities.

For example: When I was putting my novel Queen of the Owls through the search-and-destroy process, I discovered that I’d used the word hair much more often than I’d thought. Instead of assuming that this was something to be fixed (meaning: get rid of it). I took another look at when and where the word appeared.

To my surprise, it was rarely just a description of someone’s appearance. Rather, hair always signified something, revealed something about a character. Hair pulled back or allowed to tumble freely. A lopsided haircut or a perfect French twist. Brand-new glittering highlights, indicating a change (and a risk) for my bookworm protagonist.

I realized that hair played an evocative, symbolic role in my protagonist’s journey.

Instead of eliminating or reducing references to hair, I decided to make them more intentional. Precisely because it was a highly-used word, hair could serve as a shorthand for important story elements of constriction and freedom that had more power through a proxy like hair than they would have had if they were explicitly named. The references to hair allowed the reader to feel what I was trying to convey.  A classic show, don’t tell.

Search-and-Destroy vs Search-and-Employ

I wondered which of my other pets might offer a similar possibility. Could there be an untapped role for nod, shrug, gaze, stare, lift? Was there a way to view them as allies rather than weeds?

It struck me that shrug and nod—prime candidates for many search-and-destroy missions—are gestures that tend to occur during conversation, nonverbal indicators of a character’s response. They mean something.

Jane nodded. Again. “Why are you always agreeing with me?” Ellen snapped. “Instead of saying how you actually feel.” 

Jane’s nod and Ellen’s response show us their relationship. The next time Jane nods, we’ll feel the frustration that Ellen feels and be ready for something new to happen.

Dan shrugged. “No,” Carolyn said. “Don’t brush me off like that. Not this time.”

Dan’s shrug shows his indifference, revealing the power dynamic in the relationship. Carolyn’s response shows that she’s about to challenge that.

The scene requires Dan’s shrug; eliminating it would change or weaken the impact. But perhaps Dan can examine the edge of his cuff or mutter “whatever.” Or Carolyn can react to his shrug, even though it’s not on the page. “Stop doing that thing with your shoulder.” The gesture can— and should—remain, even if it’s not named. Destroy would be the wrong response. Embody, maybe. Or indicate.

So far so good, but what about those classic “search and destroy” words like totally, just, only, really, suddenly, started to, seemed to—words that are serve no real purpose?

Clearly, not every often-used word or phrase is a hidden gem. Some really do need to be used sparingly or eliminated altogether. A ban on suddenly, all at once, just then, seemed to, started to, and began to seldom has a down-side. The phrases nearly always make writing weaker rather than stronger. A good “test” is to take the words out and see if the sentence still works.

In other cases, the problem is simply excessive use. Unlike the dead-weight of started to, these are perfectly good words (like shrug) whose “problem” is that they’re used too often, thus diluting their effect.

If that’s the case, the solution is to find equivalents or near-equivalents; this creates not only variety, but nuance and precision. The test is to try synonyms or related words and see how they affect the meaning of the passage.

Some words and phrases can go either way—best eliminated or best enhanced— depending on the context. 

Context Matters

Okay. So how can you decide?

One guideline is the presence of a specific referent. My personal demons— raised eyebrows, tightened lips, tilted heads—have proven useful when assigned specific roles, rather than used indiscriminately.

If a tilted head is the signature trait of one particular character, or occurs only when a specific emotion is being conveyed (such as skepticism or doubt), then it becomes intentional rather than generic. The author is in control of the phrase, instead of the other way around.

Another guideline is the phrase’s capacity for evocative economy. Tightened lips can be a concise way to remind the reader of things she already knows about the character or the relationship among the characters. By using a phrase the reader is familiar with an entire history is quickly evoked, without interrupting the story movement. The fact that the phrase has been used several times before is an asset, not a liability. 

Let’s make this post actionable!

Identify some high-frequency words and phrases in your manuscript and ask yourself if you need to destroy or employ:

• Which are dead weight and ought to go?
• Which would deliver more punch and precision if variations were used?
• Which have untapped evocative potential precisely because they recur?

We can't wait to read your answers in the comments!

About Barbara

Barbara Linn Probst is a writer of both fiction and non-fiction, living on a historic dirt road in New York’s Hudson Valley. Her debut novel, Queen of the Owls (April 2020), is the powerful story of a woman’s search for wholeness, framed around the art and life of iconic American painter Georgia O’Keeffe.

Endorsed by best-selling authors such as Christina Baker Kline and Caroline Leavitt, Queen of the Owls was selected as one of the 20 most anticipated books of 2020 by Working Mother, one of the best Spring fiction books by Parade Magazine, and a debut novel “too good to ignore” by Bustle. It was also featured in lists compiled by Pop Sugar and Entertainment Weekly, among others. It won the bronze medal for popular fiction from the Independent Publishers Association, placed first runner-up in general fiction for the Eric Hoffer Award, and was short-listed for both the First Horizon and the $2500 Grand Prize. Barbara’s book-related article, “Naked: Being Seen is Terrifying but Liberating,” appeared in Ms. Magazine on May 27.

Barbara is also the author of the groundbreaking book on nurturing out-of-the-box children, When The Labels Don't Fit. She has a PhD in clinical social work, blogs for several award-winning sites for writers, and is a serious amateur pianist. Her second book releases in April 2021. To learn more about Barbara and her work,  please see http://www.barbaralinnprobst.com/

By Kris Maze

Writing an irresistible novel that readers can’t put down is the goal of most writers. Using plot-strengthening techniques gleaned from Young Adult writing can improve any novel, no matter the genre or the age of readership. A story featuring a teen protagonist has a fertile bed of emotions to cultivate with built-in rites of passage moments that all readers can relate to or anticipate.

The following seven elements can heighten the drama and tension in any story, helping you write a book your readers won’t want to stop reading.

1. Utilize a subplot about Belonging.

Be it finding peace in a dysfunctional family, bonding with a band of misfits, or navigating the expectations of first love, YA books all have a coming-of-age component that stems from a need for acceptance.

Abraham Maslow formed a psychological theory describing man’s needs to survive and then thrive in a hierarchical system.  The inverted triangle begins with the basic physical needs of food, water, and shelter (physiological). 

The character arc you create should take care of these needs before the protagonist moves up to the higher levels of security and safety, followed by belonging and intimate relationships. 

For Young Adult fiction, you can usually stop at the level of belonging, but there should be the promise of improved self-esteem and self-actualization.  These deep-seated needs will feed a reader's satisfaction with the character’s growth.

2. Put the protagonist's worst moments under a microscope.

Teens are hyper self-focused and naturally worry about more than they need to. Bring your reader into those moments. Let your character wallow in self- pity. Let the sting of loss sink in with the reader; it resonates more when your character finds success later on.

Best friends move away. Students graduate and life will never be the same.  Accidents happen and cannot be undone. A scholarship can’t be regained. Death of a loved one will hurt forever. These are moments that set the stage for better times yet to come. 

Possible resolutions to these issues:

• Best friends move away. But they can join the ecology club and meet a new kid in town.

• Students graduate and life will never be the same. They can exhibit new independence as they get their first job.

• Accidents happen and cannot be undone. They can see their loss as a new opportunity to focus on what they really want in life.

• A scholarship can’t be regained. They can develop a new product that sells like social media hotcakes and pay their way instead. 

• Death of a loved one will hurt forever. They can learn the rich emotions surrounding the bittersweet memories of a loved one in honoring a special celebration.

3. Play up their flaws and make your character squirm. 

Zeroing in on your characters' insecurities or lack of resources makes them squirm on the page. If your reader is rooting for that character, every time you stick in the knife they will squirm right along with that character.

In the 2008 science fiction Knife of Never Letting Go, Todd Hewitt only has fuzzy memories of his mother after a Noise germ infected his town. The disease makes all men’s thoughts audible and caused women to disappear. When Todd's thirteenth birthday is days away, he realizes the town holds a dark secret that may cost him his life. He flees and meets a silent girl, one with an education who uses highly-advanced technology (not found in his primitive town) to heal.

Todd wrestles with his inadequacies as he tries to defend himself and control his audible thoughts. This becomes increasingly difficult as he figures out that the girl hears and understands him!  They must work together to survive and the plot escalates on many levels.

4. Make the stakes high and their relationships fragile. 

Katniss in The Hunger Games begins in her normal world hunting with Gale Hawthorn. By doing this, she establishes herself as a rule-breaker of the tyrannical Capital, but only within her small daily scope.  When her loyalty is tested, and she takes her sister Prim's place as Tribute, she has broken her whole world... including her future with Gale. 

Katniss is hardened by her past, having lost her father to the mining system and her mother to grief, but further resists taking on the role of revolutionary. She ultimately comes to terms with a compromised role with a new relationship with Peeta as the story spins wildly toward her goal of taking down the corrupt system and focusing less on her own perceived happiness.

5. Use your Character’s newfound skillset.

When you build your character, take stock of their personality, people skills, hidden talents, negotiation savvy, or ability to coordinate their friend pack to win as a team.  These are ways your protagonist should address the problem or conflict of the story. No outside help! Stay inside their personal world. I repeat, no outside ADULTS should solve the problem for them - this is a YA plot killer.

Would Dorthy of Wizard of Oz have had the same dynamic if she had Auntie Em to consult along the way?

6. Emphasize the protagonist's inner journey. Let them win!

 In The Perks of Being a Wallflower, the protagonist Charlie begins high school as the sensitive, reclusive younger brother of his popular siblings.  A group of senior misfits invites him into their bizarre social circle, and as Charlie steps out of his comfort zone he shares formative insights with each senior, developing genuine friendships.  

But Charlie makes mistakes, (spoiler alert!) jeopardizing his acceptance from the seniors. At a party, he is dared to kiss the prettiest girl which is, alas, not his girlfriend! He learns the nuance of tact along with ways a relationship can become permanently altered.

Charlie’s journey is complex in this modern classic, as he uses his new-found ability to understand others and lives up to his potential; he overcomes a dark past and becomes a true friend in the process.

7. The ending should not be tidy.

Teens know that there are things to look forward to, and things to solve in real life. Realism includes messy endings. Make sure the main conflict is ironclad, then let some pieces float into the chaos that we expect.

Some ideas:

• Does your character lack courage?  Make sure they demonstrate bravery.
• Do they have stage fear as their main conflict? Have their performance shine.
• Do they have an impossible escape room puzzle? Let them be the sleuth to creatively resolve the problem.
• Do they consider themselves too weak?  Let them run the marathon and win.

Other things may not resolve, but the main conflict MUST wrap up tightly.

Characters know life is unpredictable, it makes the story authentic. Teens will walk away from anything too contrived.

Pick a main thread and wrap that one up on all levels. Remember Maslow’s Hierarchy?  Make your character scale the tiers. Let them land somewhere in the top half and avoid making it too perfect. Trust the reader to fill in some of these ideas, and leave them with questions to contemplate. Giving them loose threads also helps you the writer with creating sequels!

How can you use these ideas to tighten a story?  What other resources or examples have most helped your craft? Share your insights below. I look forward to your comments!

About Kris

ris Maze writes empowering, twisty stories and also teaches Spanish. Her first Science Fiction novella was published in the summer of 2020.

Kris Maze has worked in education for 25 years and writes for various publications including Practical Advice for Teachers of Heritage Learners of Spanish and award-winning blog Writers in the Storm where she is also a host. You can find her brief speculative stories and keep up with her author events at her website.

A recovering grammarian and hopeless wanderer, Kris enjoys reading, playing violin and piano, and spending time outdoors with her family. She also ponders the wisdom of Bob Ross.

by Julie Glover

I've thought about marketing a lot.

I've read books about it, talked with other authors about what worked and what didn't, and tried various approaches. I've mulled over publishing industry changes, book signings and tours, internet tools, and social media. I've learned about Facebook ads, Amazon ads, and dipped my toe into the BookBub world.

One of the best sources for marketing information is this blog right here! Here's just a sampling of author marketing posts you can find on Writers in the Storm:

• Social Media Habits that Support Your Brand AND Your Life
• Using Amazon Categories to Sell More Books
• Want Authorly Superpowers? Build a Street Team!
• Exactly When Is the Best Time to Begin Your Book Marketing?
• Indie Publishing 101– Part III
• The Strategy that Leads to More Book Sales

But Here's the Problem...

I often make big plans and then don't follow through.

I might have a fantastic marketing strategy, all the tools I need to make it happen, and the budget to boot. I start with dollar signs in my eyes and visions of readers devouring my stories with satisfied grins on their faces.

And then I crap out.

Sometimes right away, sometimes much later.

Regardless, marketing is my least favorite part of being an author, and I'm not good at following through with big plans.

What's the Best Plan?

Many authors are naturally talented marketers, others are wonderful learners who apply savvy advice with success, and yet others are simply good at getting the required jobs done. Good for you!

But whether you're a sales genius or an embarrassing failure, I can tell you the best plan for you. After a lot of screwing up, I finally remembered that saying that the best exercise program is the one that you will do.

There's no point in telling yourself that you'll run a marathon when you hate jogging down the street. Nor should you take up ballroom dancing if you have vertigo and two left feet.

Remember how you told yourself at the beginning of a global pandemic that this was your chance to reacquaint yourself with the treadmill? And instead, you spent weeks perfecting your sourdough starter and cinnamon rolls? Surprise! Surprise! You followed through with the thing you actually wanted to do.

It's the same with writing. If you want to do it, you will. If you don't, you ultimately won't.

The best marketing plan is the one you will do.

Sift Through Advice.

You can save yourself a lot of heartache if you'll sift through all book marketing advice with this in mind. Ask yourself questions like:

• What are my marketing strengths?

Embrace those smart marketing tactics that tap into your talents. My coauthor and I have discovered that I suck at doing ads but I'm great at managing our Facebook group. We each play to our strengths.

• Which tasks do I enjoy doing?

What do you look forward to doing? Book signings do not work for many authors, but I know one who loves this one-on-one interaction so much that she becomes a sales powerhouse at signings.

• What marketing is desirable or necessary and what isn't?

Some things you have neither talent nor interest are still necessary tasks. For instance, you are not required to be on social media, but you must write a blurb for your book.

• Which required tasks should I hire out?

Don't like it? Can't do it well? Still need it done? Hire it out! Like you can get help with writing that blurb or hire someone to do your Amazon ads. Whatever needs doing—short of writing the book—someone out there can do it for you.

• What pace is reasonable for me to accomplish tasks?

Get real with yourself about what marketing will look like, given your personality and lifestyle. Not everyone can run the author marketing sprint. You may need to jog to your destination. And that's okay.

• What would success really look like for me?

Consider what results you can expect given who you are and what you'll do. If that image is not the success you want, revisit the points above. Reconfigure the plan until you have something that represents who you are, what you want, and what you will actually, honest-with-yourself complete.

In short—as my Gen-Z sons have often said—you do you. ("As if I could do anyone else," mutters their Gen-X mother.)

What marketing plan ideas have you learned that you will and won't do? What adjustments have you made or need to make?

About Julie

Julie Glover writes mysteries and young adult fiction. Her YA contemporary novel, SHARING HUNTER, finaled in the 2015 RWA® Golden Heart® and is now on sale! She is also coauthor, under the pen name Jules Lynn, of the supernatural suspense Muse Island Series.

When not writing, she collects boots, practices rampant sarcasm, and advocates for good grammar and the addition of the interrobang as a much-needed punctuation mark.

Images by StartupStockPhotos and Sabine Mondestin from Pixabay

Julie is represented by Louise Fury of The Bent Agency. You can visit her website here and also follow her on Facebook.